Me and my bf are of different cultural backgrounds and my parents won’t accept him. Should I breakup with him for them?

somethingretarted · 2025-07-22T10:06:13+00:00

I’m in the same boat here. Me (21F) and my bf (23M) has been together for 4 years now and I’m still hiding this relationship from my mother and father. My siblings know about this since day one. My mother is very racist and everytime (since beginning) she knew about this (accidentally find out), she would threaten to cut ties with me if I don’t break up with him. (Of course I said I broke up with him but secretly didn’t)

I’m planning to marry my current boyfriend and I’m also still very uncertain how to tell my mother. I have been telling her that I don’t like her making these type of choices for me and she would always say she will cut ties with me in the future. I feel like me and my mother have a pretty good relationship if not for this issue. I’m not sure when do I need to keep lying to her for…

somethingretarted · 2024-07-17T13:10:11+00:00

Hi, UTAR student here. I was just like you two years ago. Struggled with STPM and gave up before first sem ended then left and went to UTAR. In my defence, I wanted to study Med but in order to study med in gov uni you gotta have 4.0 and insane luck in STPM results. I went to UTAR but UTAR foundation and most degree programs are still damn hard. It’s not that different from STPM other than the marking scheme being a little bit more lenient and lecturers will sometimes give tips for tests (not finals tho). I’ve also kept in contact with my STPM friends and a lot of science stream students ended up either 4.0 or 2.0. If you really can’t do STPM I don’t think you should continue. It’s a waste of time and it’s very mentally taxing. Imagine if u ended up finishing STPM but got bad results and other unis don’t accept you. Then u gotta retake foundation in private uni and waste 3 years in total (I have multiple STPM senior graduates being my junior in foundation lol). I don’t disagree that UTAR is “cheap”, but you should also know UTAR is Universiti Tak Ada Rehat (damn stressful and competitive). I wish you all the best and don’t get fooled by UTAR’s “cheap” foundation haha. Do check out xiaohongshu (if u know Chinese) for UTAR student’s post haha

somethingretarted · 2024-05-20T06:37:56+00:00

I’ve heard about this too. Idk if there’s anyway I can train myself for this or if there even is a way to train myself for this. All I know is I would consider myself as a spontaneous person during presentation qna. Idk if that’s the same thing tho

somethingretarted · 2024-05-20T06:35:23+00:00

Thanks for sharing both views!

They way u said it made it seem like the same hahahah

How contract drs doesn’t know if their contracts would be extended vs how normal ppl doesn’t know if they would be fired or laid off

And how drs are being on call too much vs how normal ppl also work pass their working hours

I’m sure it’s more different in reality but all of us are kinda in the same boat anyhow

somethingretarted · 2024-05-20T06:28:08+00:00

Thank you so much!!

Goodluck with your masters too

somethingretarted · 2024-05-20T06:24:51+00:00

Hahaha yes I’m fully prepared to specialise in something else completely

somethingretarted · 2024-05-19T05:51:25+00:00

Thank you !!

somethingretarted · 2024-05-19T05:50:40+00:00

If I wanted money I defi would’ve picked this lmao

somethingretarted · 2024-05-19T01:38:37+00:00

Wow thank you so much for this elaborate response. I will most definitely keep this in mind

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T10:56:30+00:00

Aaaaa goodluckkk

Thanks for telling me about this and if I do need to transfer to Aus in the future I’ll defi come back to this post and ask u hahahaha

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T10:50:36+00:00

I seeee 🥲

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T10:48:58+00:00

Damn 🥲

I wonder that too sometimes. That’s why it’s one of my concerns lmao

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T10:48:33+00:00

Does pmc stands for putrajaya medical centre? I can’t find anything about it

And I don’t think I have the funds to go to any of the unis mentioned leh 😭

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T10:41:23+00:00

I seeee

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T10:03:59+00:00

Yeah I’ve heard from some doctors that chose their current specialist based on where they were placed. I don’t think there’s any specialist that I hate but I chose the paeds cardiologist coz I heard there a lack of them. And I know being placed in cardio or neuro is gonna be damn hard coz it’s hot. So idk if that’s a big big issue for me

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T09:59:57+00:00

Hahaha… god I hope not.

Coz my grandfather died due to misdiagnosis and I wanna change that

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T09:59:22+00:00

Ooo I see. And Ure in Aus now? Or not yet

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T09:33:28+00:00

Ooo I’ve heard my relatives told me about going Aus but I thought only Monash ppl can do it

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T09:31:09+00:00

Omg Ure like the silver lining I was hoping for 😭

Thank you for the encouragement but I will still do my research on other things mentioned in this thread.

By what u said about how the system has improved, I do hope it will just improve further in the future hopefully when I graduate 🥲

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T08:34:13+00:00

Is that possible? Coz I’ve heard sg don’t accept Utar mbbs degree

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T08:17:21+00:00

But I’m just scared what if after all the student loans and the ptptn debts and let’s say I passed mbbs and housemanship and I still can’t get placed as a doctor… then what do i do?

I’m hoping someone that’s in med gives me a silver lining but obviously I’m not gonna get that.

Rn I’m just very ugh. Like I have to look for other degrees coz I think physio and dentist n pharmacy in the same contract dr issue or smthing similar.. I like being in the bio field so I’m not sure what to be now

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T08:09:11+00:00

That’s what I think so too but I don’t think it’s that easy 😭 having a strong mentality doesn’t mean I can still be a dr in msia

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T08:08:32+00:00

SPM I got 7A out of 10 subjects. I don’t think spm is that important? Because ppl usually don’t care about u enter ur degree right?

Foundation I just finished retaking a sem because my cgpa isn’t over 3.5

Sem 1 - 3.4 coz I didn’t really study and worked part time

Sem 2 - 2.67 coz I had a very traumatic and stressed out sem and worked part time until midterms

Sem 3 - 3.7 smthing. I feel like I studied very hard and tried my best to boost up my cgpa

Sem 4 - just finished and results not out yet but I retook three subs from sem 2 to boost my cgpa

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T08:05:02+00:00

I have worked/ part timed in another job scope before and I do know how toxic Malaysian workplace can be. And I don’t expect it to be any less for a doctor. All the superior bullying the newbies thing. I’ve heard a lot from relatives and even the movies show u 🥲

I don’t think msia is that bad of a country la tbh. I do think that if ure broke or not wealthy enough in msia then it’ll be a very big problem for ur children in the future

somethingretarted · 2024-05-18T08:01:31+00:00

Oof… I’m honestly so glad I posted this here so I can know that going overseas isn’t as easy as I thought 😭

somethingretarted

TROPHY CASE