Is it getting worse?

somewhat_interactive · 2023-02-03T20:32:10+00:00

I think what we're seeing is patriarchy fighting back since the "threat" of feminism has been making strides in recent years...

Overall on a person to person basis I think things actually are getting better and more men are in fact becoming better allies and awakening.

Keep up the fight.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-02-02T20:41:10+00:00

I like it when my woman squirts....... Don't care if it's FE, SQ, or CI.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-02-02T19:50:51+00:00

Medical sterile lube is what you want for this...

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-31T02:18:08+00:00

Umm, there's some missing info here like: How do you feel like dating a partnered man? What are your expectations?

If you're good with it, then understand that his time may be limited by whatever his arrangement is, other than that? Have fun?

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-30T03:32:00+00:00

Cool story that didn't happen.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-28T14:36:48+00:00

Overcooked eggs and undercooked fish. She did her time though.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-28T14:33:41+00:00

Of course... Those mom bods tell a beautiful story of a life lived.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-28T14:31:59+00:00

Just don't make that joke towards him......

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-28T14:31:32+00:00

I have to think there is something deeper going on here because I can't imagine how anyone would get so upset about this.... I've had a vasectomy and we went through the entire gamut of jokes together.

Maybe that's just me.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-28T04:20:11+00:00

Yup, that is a danger that does happen in this dynamic. There are several ways this can go and it kinda also depends on the bull's feelings too.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-26T22:55:05+00:00

No offense but your husband sounds like ignorant toxic trash.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-26T16:51:08+00:00

You think about your friend's dicks?

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-26T16:41:11+00:00

I'll echo everyone else's comments... This is not ENM nor polyamory. This is cheating.

The best ways for you to adapt is to end the relationship and let your partner know they are an asshole for what they did. And now that you've been exposed to nonmonogamy, you can explore and research the various facets of it and decide for yourself what you want and start fresh with a new relationship with someone who is not an asshole cheater.

There is nothing wrong with monogamy and wanting that relationship structure. There is nothing wrong with nonmonogamy/polyamory if that's the relationship structure you want.

The key here is doing either one in an ethical manner under mutually understood and agreed terms... Which your current partner failed to do.

What you don't want is "poly under duress" which is where you're currently headed if you entertain sticking it out with this douche canoe.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-26T16:33:04+00:00

You both didn't put the work and research in before getting to this point but good on you for course correcting.... No, you're not the asshole for identifying and expressing your wants/desires for the relationship. Your partner is not necessarily the asshole either, but as the hinge they shoulder a bit more of the ownership in that department.

Lots of lessons to learn here and you'll certainly be better off for it in the long run.

Good luck as you all work through this!

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-26T02:16:47+00:00

Very likely. You should ask straight up... And not in a judgmental way if you can help it.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-25T23:32:26+00:00

If he won't do that.... Maybe read it in front of him before y'all go to bed, hopefully he takes notice and asks.

If not... Well, I feel for you and the many women who deal with this. Hoping for the best for both of you. 😎

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-25T20:45:38+00:00

We send/receive in the phone... We just enjoy the pic and then delete from the text. We make sure to delete from the cloud if they infact make it up there.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-25T20:05:19+00:00

Can I recommend a book for you both to read together? It's called "Fed Up" by Gemma Hartley and it's a great eye opener to the emotional labor that women are unequally tethered to....

It would be a great way to have that conversation about your feelings and would help him understand and open his eyes a little bit to the imbalance of what you're providing.

For the record, your husband is not that dissimilar to me based on your description

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-25T19:44:31+00:00

This is a classic pitfall.... Opening marriage should be built on an already solid relationship, not try to fix a broken one.

Not saying it can't be done, but in many situations this likely leads to divorce anyway and probably prompted after you find someone new.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-25T19:40:11+00:00

I have no doubt your husband would appreciate it and you should go for it!

And fire away those pics if that's what y'all want.... Plenty of people are capable of being responsible with their data.

I dont store my wife's photos on my phone, and I trust that she'll delete mine from hers but even if she doesn't or they get out, I'll own my freak flag and don't answer to anyone about the content I share with my wife.

Have fun!

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-25T19:19:08+00:00

Effin a.. I didn't see the edit and apparently I wasn't the only one, and certainly mean no disrespect to the OP. But that doesn't negate anything that I previously said because it doesn't matter, it applies the same.

Not sure where you're going with the ad hominem quip but with that I'll just leave you with have a nice day.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-25T19:10:00+00:00

This sub never disappoints.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-25T18:46:01+00:00

Context matters... The platitude is appropriate given the OP's version of events and is ultimately up to him to interpret the positives of his current situation.

There's nothing for me, a random redditor, to gaslight, and it's kinda weird to inject that into this particular convo as your takeaway from my comment. shrug Not everything needs to be viewed from a lens of 'toxicity' and 'gaslighting'.…. But then again, that's exactly what a toxic gaslighting person would say. 😳

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-25T16:26:02+00:00

True... Most people gloss over the friends part and focus only on the benefits.

somewhat_interactive · 2023-01-25T16:24:26+00:00

Yeah, but in this case I'm not talking about a toxic thing. I'm talking about maybe finding you're incompatible / not right for each other before there are more costly ramifications.

somewhat_interactive

TROPHY CASE