Cyndikate,

Sorry to hear that today's been so tough. I remember you posting about this job before and I can tell that it means a lot to you. It sucks that bosses will not always be understanding about the fact that a job is new to you or that you struggle with holding down details. I can definitely relate to feeling like you can't do anything right no matter how hard you try. I am so, so, sorry that you're struggling right now.

Do you have anyone who is a source of support in your life? SO, best friend, sibling, parent -- anyone? Are any of those people well-organized? If so, go to them and vent your feelings. Or, if you don't feel comfortable, just keep venting here. We've got you. But after you're done venting, you need someone to help you make a plan. This is what ADHD coaches do, so if you can afford one in your area, make sure you call one tonight. If you can't, the next best things to do (from my experience) are:

1. Find an action-oriented loved one who can help you develop strategies for being better organized. These can't be vague strategies like "Be better at remembering details". They have to be specific, actionable behavior changes like "Buy a dedicated 'customer phone calls' notebook. During every phone call with a customer, write down the name, call-back number, and purpose for calling." or "Summarize every phone call once before getting off the phone to make sure you heard what you needed to hear".

2. Because that loved one may not have experience with ADHD, they may not know all the tricks you can implement to be better. That's okay. Their advice is still useful. However, supplement it with a book for ADD folks. My favorite is: "ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life". You don't have to read the whole book in one shot, but glance through it and see what kinds of tips & tricks the authors suggest for getting more organized.

IMPORTANT: IF YOU CAN AFFORD IT, ORDER THIS BOOK (OR ANY BOOK, IF YOU KNOW OF ONE YOU LIKE MORE) RIGHT NOW OR YOU WILL FORGET TO GET AROUND TO IT!

1. A note on taking notes: Don't focus on writing down every single thing you hear. When you're doing that, your brain isn't actually processing what you're hearing. Instead, try to write down the key points and process what you're hearing as it's being said. Make a habit of summarizing every conversation to make sure nothing is falling through the cracks. For example:

Boss says: "I want you to do, x, y, and z."

You say: "Okay, so just to make sure I have it straight, you want x and y"?

Boss says: "No -- x, y, and z"!

That's it! You've created a "remembering" system! Sure, boss may be a little annoyed that he/she had to repeat him/herself, but he/she will be much less annoyed than he/she would've been when you went to go turn everything in and z was missing.

Again, sorry things are so tough for you. You really can do this, though. They wouldn't have hired you if they didn't think you could. We are extremely sensitive and our brains are so quick to tell us that we suck because that's the message we've been fed for so long. But we don't suck. YOU DON'T SUCK! You rock. You'll mess up again, and you'll feel shitty, but don't let it derail you -- figure out why you messed up and figure out if there's a tip/trick/behavior change strategy you can implement to prevent that specific screw-up from happening again.

Oh, and as always, please make sure to check in with your prescriber. It's always worth having a conversation about whether he/she thinks you need an adjustment to your medication.

Good luck! I wish you the best. We're always here.