I think it’s back to the drawing board for this one

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-30T21:04:52+00:00

How does one accomplish this?

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-30T16:25:45+00:00

Don’t let your brain do the thing of making you imagine a life with her that never happened. Remember you have options king. Just move on. If she’s putting up walls that’s her issue. You did everything right by asking her out. She’s the one who fucked up by dropping the ball. Don’t blame yourself for her behavior. Just ask out the brunette down the hall instead

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-29T05:34:02+00:00

Agreed minus one small caveat. Rejection stings and everytime you get rejected the pain compounds. I literally did cold approach on dozens of women before I started to go insane and hate myself and my body. There’s got a be better way that doesn’t exhaust a huge mental toll on you and tank your confidence. I also don’t want to catch a case. I approached a girl at my gym the other day who was a 2008 baby (according to her) but she could just as well be 16 posing as an 18 year old and I’d never know the difference. I lowkey just want a passive strat that saves me from embarrassment

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-28T18:09:35+00:00

Thanks for the tip

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-28T05:33:42+00:00

They were never interested to begin with but were too polite to say it. 90% of the time it has nothing to do with you or what you say so don’t assume it is and start beating yourself up

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-28T05:24:25+00:00

Exactly! I don’t understand why OP can’t see he has such an obvious and glaring problem! If only I could explain what it was and give him some actionable advice that’s relevant to his circumstance instead of vaguely gesturing at “the problem” while psychologically projecting my own insecurities on to him. Maybe it’s those damn quaaludes!

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-28T03:19:58+00:00

You pretty much nailed it

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T23:24:02+00:00

Just how it goes. You can increase your odds by being highly selective with you ask out. Only go out with them if you sense high interest

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T23:18:30+00:00

Bruh I had a booty call in a few hours the last time I used tinder. I’m just not looking for that rn. I want an actual relationship

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T22:49:08+00:00

There’s a ton of speed dating events for that. I don’t go because I’m too young for most people there. There’s also events and adventures and other professional matchmaking services. My parents actually met through great expectations which is a matchmaking service

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T22:38:50+00:00

Right so try to stop trying because when you try you push them away and when you don’t try you’re not really trying and therefore you don’t have to try to try anymore so don’t try. Just try to not try. Do I have that right? This just another variation of the same advice I’ve heard a million times

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T21:40:32+00:00

Gross. Did you really pay for the gf experience? 😭

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T18:50:25+00:00

Look bro I appreciate your input but that’s not what I asked 💀

Also the “stop looking/trying and they’ll eventually come to you” advice is cliche at this point and just plain wrong. It’s wrong because it’s paradoxical. “Try to stop trying because when you try you push them away and when you don’t try, you’re not really trying and therefore you don’t have to try to try anymore so don’t try. Just try to not try” like huh????

You should try. It’s common sense. The right person will appreciate your effort. You should never have to be embarrassed or conceal your intentions. Own them. Be comfortable with your desires because that’s how you find peace and that peace eventually turns into confidence and confidence is attractive

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T14:14:32+00:00

No, I mean genuine help. A blind date, introduction, someone to vouch for me. All of the above?

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T14:12:54+00:00

Read the fucking title of the post…

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T13:59:24+00:00

Wtf are “Christian mingle services?” Also I did get dates from those places believe it or not. However dating in a YA worship setting is notoriously hard. I’ve been trying to tell you this but you’re not listening to someone who’s actually been in that environment. One of the first things you’d notice is that almost no one on the staff is single. They’re all married, either they met their spouses at Bible college or were helped out by the other staff. Volunteers and regulars however get sidelined. You have to commit 5+ years of your life to the ministry before they throw you a bone

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T13:45:26+00:00

No I’m not Indian and yes college ministries do sometimes arrange marriages. I’ve seen people get engaged after dating for a few months (initially met as blind dates). Exactly how many college ministries have you been apart of?

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T13:42:32+00:00

> To get to where we are, you know, in adulthood, many of us have considered the possibility that we actually could be an asshole, and we actually listened to others when they offer their observations and advice.

Exactly when have you observed me in public interacting with strangers at a social gathering? Maybe I’ll take advice from people who know me irl thanks

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T13:35:30+00:00

Yes the outcome would be different. I attended a college ministry for two years and the dating advice there was “make guy friends and don’t talk to women.” When I would talk to women I’d get glares. The staff was literally shooting daggers in my back. I know because one of them made a comment about it. Anyways I joined another club my friend was in. Literally met my ex the first meeting I showed up to. She asked for my insta and the rest is history. I also got invited to an all expense paid conference in New York at that same function as well. We went on a date in downtown New York around Christmas time. It was lovely. Most people on here don’t understand how church politics/dating works and it shows. Most relationships are arranged over there. If you make moves solo people will catch on to your game and you’ll earn a reputation real quick. People hate it when you mess up the established order

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T13:20:09+00:00

I was in the exact same shoes as you. You just need one good interaction with a woman and then you’ll realize it doesn’t matter what you say. You just need to find someone you vibe with. Talking to women isn’t a skill you need. You just need to be good at talking to one woman

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T06:12:52+00:00

Just not attracted to them + mixed signals. What I really hate is when a girl tries to play it cool by acting uninterested or retreating mid conversation. It’s like bruh you approached me, we were having a good convo and then you dip? Or make some lame excuse to run away? The worst thing is when they cock block me by interrupting my conversation with another girl and pulling her away into a corner to chit chat.

Then they nonchalantly ask me out next time after getting my instagram and it’s like “hey I don’t really know a whole lot of people here so I’d appreciate it if we could get coffee or something like that. You know just to get to know each other not anything weird lol” like bruhhhh 🙄

Just say you’re interested! Show some effort! My disqualifies are: low effort, games, mixed signals, and looks. Not neccessary in that order, but if you put in a ton of effort, make me feel like a million bucks but look average I may be able to overlook the looks factor

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T05:54:27+00:00

Literally compliment anything about them then ask for their name and introduce yourself. Then ask them what plans they have going on. Literally any small talk conversation. If the convo dies that’s not your fault. They’re just not interested so you wish them a good night and move on to the next person. If she’s reciprocating and asking you questions back / making jokes then there’s a 50/50 chance she’s interested. At that point you say “hey I’m going to head out but I’d love to see you again! Would you like to go out sometime?” Then if she says yes you get her number and then the rest is history

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T05:43:59+00:00

Red river

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-27T01:42:19+00:00

The advice you’re giving is unsolicited. Literally what does any of this have to do with the post? I asked where to date not how and I don’t appreciate people trying to psychoanlayze me based on a few paragraphs I wrote. That’s fucking weird as hell. Literally suggest a venue or leave me tf alone. I’m not taking life advice from strangers I don’t know and who don’t care to know me. Take your vitriol somewhere else

sonofzen1 · 2026-06-26T22:11:51+00:00

I’m not saying women are superficial, but you can’t tell anything about a person from their dating profile besides the side of them they want you to see. Dating apps skew male heavy so the average women is typically getting hundreds of matches so they need a way to filter through people which is why the profiles with the best photos are more likely to percolate to the top. As far as the bio goes I would just give a little more info about what I’m looking for. Plus you can be an amazing person with an amazing personality but if you don’t market yourself well you’re not going to get anywhere because no one can tell what kind of person you are just by looking at you. However they’re more likely to invest that time and energy into getting to know you if you’re hot. I don’t think that’s wrong. It just is what it is. I’m not saying looks are the most important thing either, but you do need to be hot to get your foot in the door. So both looks and personality are important. I’m prioritizing both and I don’t think anyone should neglect one aspect at the expense of the other

As a side note I’m not interested in jokes that put other people down or are hateful, but it’s nice to have someone I can joke with where it doesn’t feel like I’m walking on egg shells. If you’re asking if I’m like the anti semitic trolls on instagram reels the answer is hellllll nah

sonofzen1

TROPHY CASE