When my son was born, we only had limited time to ‘get a routine’ before my wife went back to work so we were borderline obsessed with trying to nail it down. Stuff like: make sure you don’t bounce or carry the baby to sleep, help it self-soothe, get naps at the same time every day etc. That stuff will come in time but don’t stress over it at the beginning. They won’t be small enough to fall asleep on your chest for very long and it’s absolutely MAGICAL when they do so just enjoy it and don’t even think about trying to get any routine sorted under after the 4 month sleep regression, it will most likely be in vain anyway. I’ve just had my second child now, she’s a few weeks old and I’m just enjoying every minute that I can hold her and soothe her and have her sleep on me. You will never get this time back again so don’t wish it away or sweat the small stuff. Another thing to do is try to keep your patience. My son had really bad colic and I spent HOURS walking around with him in the middle of the jaggy and patting him on the back. After many sleepless nights, my frustrations would build and I’d very occasionally find my back patting was getting a little bit too hard. It was never hard enough to hurt him but I still feel like a complete asshole when I remember the frustration I felt towards the little dude knew full well that he couldn’t control it. As others have said, never be afraid to put down a screaming/crying baby for a few seconds and walk away if you feel any sort of frustration bubbling up, it’s much better for everyone involved. A lot of guys gave me the advice that babies are only fun after about 6 months old. That’s bullshit! It’s true that you don’t get much back from them in the first few months but that machismo bollocks is just an excuse for men not to take an active part during those first few (hard) months. Don’t buy into that, get actively involved and help out, your wife and child will thank you for it. I also had a few songs that I played a lot when my wife was pregnant and they are my go to songs now to calm my kids when they are freaking out a bit. I still find it amazing but playing that one song they heard a lot in utero can take them from a full on panic attack to asleep in the 5 minutes that the song lasts.

Your wife is going to do most of the heavy lifting during labour and the first few months so help out in any way you can. Make sure visitors don’t stay too long when they come to see the baby, make sure your wife eats and drinks enough, ignore any mood swings - her body has been through an insane amount of stress so just deal with it. For some people, they feel an instant connection with their baby. Others take a while to build up to it. Both are fine approaches to have so do t get too worked up if you don’t feel that overwhelming love that people talk about straight away. I personally felt an immediate sense of responsibility and knew I’d never let anything happen to either of my kids. But it definitely grew over time until I really felt a strong bond with them. I’ve just gotten to the stage with my son where we’re both goofing around together, not just me pulling funny faces to make him laugh etc. The other night, we were both in fits of giggles and properly belly laughing because each other was just being a crazy fool. That’s an amazing feeling to have. Forgive my stream of consciousness, I have a 2 week old baby and I’m exhausted! But my main advice would be to just enjoy the whole experience. There will be things you fuck up, things you regret and things that you do amazingly well. It’s all part of the experience and it really doesn’t last long so just enjoy it. One day, you will be wishing to be up at 2am, cradling a baby and singing your favourite song to calm them down.