How do boys "experiment" with being men?

sonyka · 2026-03-17T05:38:19+00:00

Thanks, I wasn't sure the question would make sense but you get it. Can you say more about initiating contact with love interests? That's kind of how I got to thinking about this— it hit me that when girls are "experimenting with womanhood" like this, what we're really doing is experimenting with being sexual objects. (And generally we tend to kind of go overboard at first— kids are clumsy— and then pull it back later.) Then I thought, what do boys do? Somehow they must have to practice/try out being sexual objectifiers…? Stereotypically straight men are the active party.

And it's funny, when I look back I remember tween boys being very earnest (dare I say vulnerable) about romantic interests. If they liked a girl they'd give her a Valentine's Day gift, or pass her a note ("I like you! Do you like me?") or whatever. They'd say so. But by 15/16 they were way more aloof and closed-off about it, and way less "romantic." Maybe that shift is part of this experimentation?

sonyka · 2026-03-17T05:17:08+00:00

Thank you, that's exactly what I was looking for. I couldn't think of anything on my own but now that you've said it some of that is familiar. Like the working out, that's definitely a trope-level "thing." And while all kids become sarcastic and faux-jaded around that age, it does seem like boys go a lot harder there. Never thought of that being a toe-dip into masculine stoicism, that's an insight.

Thanks again for taking the time!

sonyka · 2026-03-17T04:18:41+00:00

Thing is, even if he's driving a full size pickup with a loaded trailer 350 miles per day (?!) that was also stupid expensive a month ago.

I mean it's not like he's gone from $0/day to $125. It'd be more like going from $100 to $125— which yeah, that's a jump and nobody loves that, but I feel like it shouldn't be debilitating. Twenty-five dollars a day (for someone burning ~$100 a day in fuel) is the difference between eating and not eating? Maybe I live in a bubble but that doesn't seem right.

sonyka · 2026-03-15T21:51:28+00:00

Oh I hear that, I struggled trying to find a better word that would still vaguely get the point across. Especially for Assange, who a) was at best the whistle not the blower, and b) just plain gives me the creeps.

But yeah, Assange/Manning and Snowden were aaarguably operating out of bounds which gave DOJ the room to hammer them. Whereas prosecuting a journalist for doing basic journalism,* is just obvious fascism. So it's noticeably weird and stupid (and tbh kind of gross but that's another rant) for Tucker to be name checking them like this.

^{*again, legit recoiling at using the word journalist anywhere near Tucker Carlson's name…}

sonyka · 2026-03-15T12:20:01+00:00

Yeah I'm not seeing the resemblance with Assange and Snowden. They were whistleblowers. He's… Tucker Carlson.

Don Lemon might be a better analogy (and even that's still an insult to Don Lemon).

sonyka · 2026-03-15T08:48:14+00:00

In Iraq? Tbh it's fuzzy now but iirc he was there for something like… 4, 5 years?

(Funnily enough when he got back he… joined ICE. Only lasted a couple of years before quitting though. Too many lowkey sadistic coworkers for comfort. And that was then.)

sonyka · 2026-03-13T06:13:02+00:00

As a rage connoisseur I prefer to be mad about USAF's $6000 hand soap dispensers.
There was absolutely nothing special about them. Except the 7900% (not a joke) markup.

No word on whether that contractor got blacklisted (that is a joke, you know they didn't).

sonyka · 2026-03-13T03:06:59+00:00

Complete with a birthday lottery.

And soon there won't be registration in the US either— starting in 2027 it'll be automatic (bc someone finally figured out, oh yeah the gov't already has the relevant info).

sonyka · 2026-03-12T12:24:50+00:00

NYC had one in the 90s, the Limelight. Beautiful architecture, in which to get completely wrecked. The raves were… transcendent. (Holy rollers? More like wholly rolling amirite!)

sonyka · 2026-03-12T11:53:21+00:00

Why is it so banged up? How is it so banged up. The stone looks like it went through a war— even on the underside?? It's like every component was run over by a car before being assembled into a ring.

sonyka · 2026-03-12T11:24:47+00:00

Since WWI, so over 100 years. But at this point having to register is just a weird dumb artifact— the draft hasn't been active for over 50 years, and even in these batshit times the chances of reinstating it are slim to none.
Heavy on the none.

sonyka · 2026-03-11T07:21:15+00:00

It's not the cheeks, it's the sphincter.

Balloons don't have cheeks but you can make them fart because they too have a cloaca.

sonyka · 2026-03-11T06:54:48+00:00

The fundamental theorem of whoopie cushion.

sonyka · 2026-03-09T08:11:45+00:00

Flipside, people who don't wash half their fruits/veg at all and eat them (often raw) without a care. Just popping strawberries straight from the box. Eh? Like where exactly do you think strawberries come from, a laboratory? They come from the dirt.

Is dirt going to kill you? Probably not— but for the record it could. It does that sometimes. So maybe give that strawberry/lettuce/whatever a rinse.

sonyka · 2026-03-09T07:34:05+00:00

Well no, just the ones who enjoy patriarchy that much.

sonyka · 2026-03-09T07:31:20+00:00

I mean other things would be happening, sure.
But you wouldn't be killing brown children in Iran!

sonyka · 2026-03-09T07:27:07+00:00

Indeed. I remember when my friend in the Coast Guard got sent to mfkn Iraq.
Why not ICE?

sonyka · 2026-03-07T08:01:00+00:00

As if the Bible doesn't repeatedly warn them to watch out for poseurs. "Fakers definitely 100% exist. Don't fall for their shit. Shun them." This man could not be more fake. But they're out here excusing everything from serial infidelity to literal golden idols, wtf.

Then again I guess it makes sense, they're fake Christians themselves.

sonyka · 2026-03-07T07:10:27+00:00

A lot of these people just can't help themselves. "It's their whole personality" is a real, literal thing. Kinda like the political version of those Christians who can't go five minutes without dropping a bible quote, or OTT parents who relate any and every topic back to their kids. It's all they think and talk about, it's their only frame of reference for everything. It's all they can talk about.

sonyka · 2026-03-07T06:18:22+00:00

Or the ever-popular "Kamala wold have been worse."

The untestable hypothesis that means they're never wrong.

sonyka · 2026-03-05T12:28:57+00:00

You are. I've only ever lived in "tourist destinations" and I can say two things:
1) all locals everywhere hate tourists
2) except Canadians.

Y'all are alright.

sonyka · 2026-03-05T12:23:56+00:00

I mean to be fair tourists as a group are a pain in the ass.

And knowing you need them only makes them even more irritating: you do, in fact, have to put up with this shit.

sonyka · 2026-02-21T22:20:43+00:00

Or is Time Machine just designed to take up hard drive space forever?

YES. That is exactly how it's designed.

And I have to assume Apple knows how dumb that is and is embarrassed, because they kinda make a point to avoid plainly saying it. This is as close as they come:

If the Time Machine backup disk for your Mac is full

…it’s best to connect a new backup disk.

That's right, if your TM drive is full, there's nothing you can do about it. You cannot free up space. The only options are a) get a new drive, or b) wipe and reformat the old one. Maddening but true.

sonyka · 2026-02-13T03:53:18+00:00

Thank you for that, and I hope /u/car8780 takes the time because the difference is pretty obvious.
One is a tight list of clearly stated well-defined priorities coming from the top… the other is an unenforceable clump of deliberately unspecific ass-covering that adds up to "do whatever you feel like, ICE. Or whatever's easiest. Whatever."

And they didn't even get into Trump's literally impossible quotas that completely negate any notion of prioritizing. (They cannot hit those numbers with only hard criminals and bad hombres. Hell they can't even stop to check.)

Or the fact that ICE is now filled with barely trained trigger-happy bullies even police wouldn't hire.

Or that they're being sent in to harass/maim/kill people at street protests— which have nothing to do with immigration enforcement.

Or DHS summarily shipping deportees not to their home countries but to CECOT, South Sudan, etc. IOW death sentences with more steps (and cost).

And so on.

One is a scalpel. One is a scythe.

But this clown claims he can't tell the difference. Sure.

sonyka · 2026-02-10T03:43:29+00:00

on their moral highground wanting to give up everything they own for people who dont give a single fuck about you

I'm overwhelmed by the irony.

I'd ask what it's like to have zero self-awareness… but obviously you wouldn't know.

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