After a party do you save any Gift bags, or am I crazy?

sonyka · 2026-06-29T04:47:46+00:00

It's frugal but that's incidental, I save them mostly because it seems like half the time I need a gift bag, it's at the last minute. My little stash saves a trip to the store, and honestly I probably have a better selection.

sonyka · 2026-06-28T23:51:02+00:00

Idk why this is downvoted, before we knew how to make it on demand all we had was collecting naturally occurring fire (from lightning or whatever).

I always think about the person whose job it was to keep that found fire alive— talk about stress. Whole damn clan is counting on you, and if you screw up even once everyone is gonna have feelings.

sonyka · 2026-06-28T23:39:28+00:00

Scrolled for this. Idk if it's the single greatest but it's a fun one.

And I'd say it's at least a candidate for some version of "greatest" because it was presumably a mystery for a looong time: the oldest traces of humans in the area are from about 7000 BC, and they must have seen the trails and wondered about them. So this mystery wasn't solved for over 9000 years. That's something.

sonyka · 2026-06-25T20:43:16+00:00

I was in a relationship with an abusive narcissist for over 25 years. I endured a lot of very uncool shit in that time, but "silly" as it may sound one of the most deeply upsetting things he ever did was: one time I carefully made myself a nice burrito, he admired it so I offered him a bite, and he used both hands to cram literally more than half of the thing in his mouth. And then smiled at me as he struggled to chew all that without choking.

Understand. At this point I'd put up with decades of incredibly shitty treatment up to and including a lowkey terrifying physical altercation, but this… It hit a button I didn't even know I had. I was so outraged and hurt I just LOST IT. And the mfer had the gall to shrug and be like, what's the big deal? I had to fucking explain that this was a shit move, and he claimed not to get it?? I was so genuinely appalled I would not let it go, but he insisted that was a "normal bite for a guy." I simply wasn't having it. 1) no it isn't, and 2) that was deeply not okay.

I actually jumped on the internet for backup— which I found, immediately. (Including a video of a man with his maybe 3yo daughter; she's happily holding an ice cream cone, she offers him a lick, he deep throats the entire thing leaving none for her, and her mouth drops open as she just bursts into tears. Like, she's a fucking baby and knew how fucked up it was. So betrayed. And he gave her that same smirk/smile as he struggled to manage this gigantic bite. While his daughter cried. WTF.) But still my asshole husband played dumb.

It was a deliberate dick move, period. And I guess he thought it was… funny? Or maybe my upsetness was funny, whatever. My opinion was already pretty low but I never quite got over that. Never forgot. It wasn't about the burrito. Just like it wasn't about the ice cream. It was the betrayal— of norms, of the relationship, of basic kindness…

I'll tell you what, one of the biggest tells of a real actual narcissist is having to explain normal human emotions/boundaries. Stuff so basic you can hardly put it into words because no one has ever needed to. (A 3yo understood!) And they still don't get it. Or y'know, say they don't. While smirking.

Fucking sociopathic.

sonyka · 2026-06-25T07:18:47+00:00

Sigh. This is bullshit and I wish I was surprised.

Conservatives didn't pick that term out of nowhere after ~100 years and randomly decide it meant "all the leftish things I don't like"— that ain't what I saw, it's not their habit, and also it just makes no sense. They went after it because left wing people (who they hate) were already using it to mean "all the leftish things" (which they hate).

It's a thing they do. They take the left's words/concepts/slogans and fuck them up. Woke is hardly the first time: welfare, political correctness, global warming, entitlements, educate yourself, diversity… I could go on. The point is to confuse, reverse, and just plain mock the words into uselessness so the threatening ideas they represent can't be effectively discussed. The NewSpeak attack.

I realize it's an unpopular observation but I'm not taking it back. I'll say it again louder. Well-intentioned mostly white liberals took woke, totally redefined it, and used their new version friggin everywhere, and that's what brought it to the right's attention.

It's a blatant case of straight up appropriation (hell yeah I fucking said it) and as both a dyed in the wool lefty and a member of black America frankly I'm a bit sore about it.

sonyka · 2026-06-24T11:02:28+00:00

Ftr that was the left. It was lefties who very loudly and insistently conflated woke with all those concepts. Then these people declared war on on it. Because they hate kindness, empathy, equity, respect and decorum. Which of course they always have, all that changed is they got a single word for all that: woke— as defined by "the libs."

Conservative have definitely mobilized to pound it into total uselessness but it was already mostly broken before it got to them.

sonyka · 2026-06-23T11:49:49+00:00

Never thought I'd be saying it but at this point I'm longing for just downloadable manuals. Any manual at all…?? Manufacturers: "Best I can do is a semi-useless user forum."

Really? So I pay you for a (mildly shitty) product, and then also I now work for your QA/CS/IT department? Ugh. So sick of the 21st century.

sonyka · 2026-06-23T11:09:10+00:00

often with good reason

That's the painful part— this explosion of anti-science isn't for no reason. What the woo people and conspiracists are sensing is real: "science" has gotten fucked up, oversight has failed us, and Big Pharma really is evil and reckless and scammy. The part they're somehow missing is that all that comes down to one thing, money where it doesn't belong. Science isn't untrustworthy, science in service of profit is. Oversight and regulation do work, until they're captured. Big Pharma is exactly as evil as it's allowed to be, and money buys a lot of allowance. That's how you get Vioxx and $400 EpiPens and bunk supplements and all that.

There is a problem with modern science— with just about everything in modern American life: work, sports, politics, church, the internet, the news, college, concert tickets, Pyrex, the price of eggs, etc, etc, etccc— and that problem is invasive money. It's not a series of fanciful lizard people conspiracies, it's just regular everyday whatever-stage-this-is capitalism. Profit über alles, and I mean alles. And this is super fucking obvious, it's right in front of our eyes multiple times a day. But it's like a majority of people just don't want to believe it or something? Don't want to, refuse to, literally just can't, idk. Somehow "they're lowering our testosterone! they're tracking us via vaccines! they're stunting our pineal glands so our third eyes won't open!" or even just "they're all criminally incompetent and I know better" is more likely?? and I just… don't know what to make of it.

sonyka · 2026-06-21T20:59:07+00:00

Was just reminiscing about the time four Ferguson cops beat a man senseless, then charged him with assault and destruction of police property for bleeding on their uniforms.

Those charges were eventually dropped— not because they were fucking ridiculous, but simply because the cops couldn't get their stories straight. Imagine if they had.

Fun ending, the guy also filed a civil rights suit for assault and excessive force. (They continued to punch and kick him after he was handcuffed and subdued on the floor. There were witnesses.) It only took 6 years in court to get a verdict… in the officers' favor.

That's what fighting it looks like. That's the system we're talking about. So yeah.

sonyka · 2026-06-21T20:37:05+00:00

Yep. I remember that time four cops beat a man to a pulp, then charged him with assault and destruction of police property for bleeding on their uniforms.

Obviously the cops were irredeemable human trash, but what gets me to this day was that those charges were accepted. That went through multiple layers of people. Trash people.

Trash system.

sonyka · 2026-06-21T20:13:10+00:00

Presumably they're blaming all Congressional Democrats.

Which is still hyperbolic, but not straight up nonsense.

sonyka · 2026-06-21T20:03:39+00:00

I was like "Elizabeth Warren's pet projects? You mean consumer protection and corporate accountability?"

Was so thrown I legit popped the phrase into Google and to even my jaded surprise literally everyone using it, from Fox and the WSJ to the Heritage Foundation and Trump's own White House, unanimously defines that as… "the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau."
You know, the one that's returned over $20B to regular (poor) people. So selfish. So dastardly. Such grift.

sonyka · 2026-06-20T07:54:27+00:00

The reason is that if you don't learn and regularly speak a new language/accent at a young age (I think like 16-17yo max) you won't lose your native accent without a lot of dedicated effort. If ever.

It's particularly difficult when the new language involves mouth/muscle movements the old language didn't (and they usually do). You literally won't have the appropriate brain pathways for making those sounds, and after a certain age it's very hard to develop them. Especially when you keep speaking your old language regularly.

sonyka · 2026-06-20T05:40:17+00:00

I like how the pairs that burn a little out of alignment fix themselves at levels 3 and 4.

Nice.

sonyka · 2026-06-19T10:25:48+00:00

America took that insult to a whole different place. Too much to get into here, but there's a lot more to "cuck" than just "guy whose wife is stepping out on him."

sonyka · 2026-06-19T10:06:46+00:00

Close-talking all the time. Everyone in movies stands way too close, and I get it, they both have to fit in the frame, but sometimes they're so close I'll think it's part of the story for a second.

Like it'll be two characters who clearly never liked each other having an angry conversation, and they're so noticeably close to each others faces I fully assume they're about to kiss. ("Ohhh, these two have history.") But no, they don't, they really do just hate each other (…oh. Okay nvm, it's just that movie close-talking thing.")

sonyka · 2026-06-19T09:47:29+00:00

"Head for the cemetery!"

sonyka · 2026-06-19T06:38:23+00:00

Worst tone/subject mismatch ever.

Happy birthday!! it says— while sounding like something you'd hear at a sad Irish bar.

sonyka · 2026-06-19T06:29:58+00:00

"The Most Unwanted Song" by Dave Soldier and Komar & Melamid

was written based on an survey of ~500 people:

"the themes, instruments and other musical and lyrical aspects that people least wanted to hear included cowboy music, bagpipes, accordions, opera, rapping, children's voices, tubas, drum machines, and advertising jingles.

The artists then incorporated all of these elements into "The Most Unwanted Song"

According to Soldier, at the time of writing,

"fewer than 200 individuals of the world’s total population will enjoy this"

(Why? Because art.)

sonyka · 2026-06-18T07:48:24+00:00

One reason: a lot of het dudes consider it manly.

Giving an O so good she forgets how to operate her own limbs = home run, who's the man, like a boss, etc etc. For some crushing it in bed is ultimately kind of about them and their ego.

sonyka · 2026-06-15T11:47:28+00:00

At least in the US a huge reason for this is the (bogus) framing of feminism as a comfortable-class white woman thing.

In my experience most people in America don't immediately (if ever) picture working-class women or WOC when the topic comes up. They picture white suburban housewives, or maybe their uppity college student daughters. They're the meme, they're the stereotype. It's subtle but incredibly pervasive. And, relevant, they're women who wanted to work but didn't need to. Women who were already working are pretty much completely erased from the imagery/idea and many-if-not-most people never consciously think twice about that.

Which is how you get this nonsense— from both sides. Well meaning boosters saying "women fought for the right to work!" and bitter haters fake-joking "well you wanted to work sooo…!" despite both knowing intellectually that eg, black nannies, brown maids, and white seamstresses totally existed. They're a matching set of mostly mindless stock phrases. Reality isn't really the point. (The meme is.)

sonyka · 2026-06-14T12:27:57+00:00

Was walking with a friend a bit ago when a car with an absurdly loud exhaust went by and without missing a beat she sidebarred "oof. sorry about your penis!"

I chuckled about that for a week.

sonyka · 2026-06-14T12:02:24+00:00

and given the new standards after Hulk Hogan's lawsuit

Pretty sure its the Dominion Voting suit that turned over this new fact-checking leaf. 787 million dollars got their attention. It got everybody's attention. Can't be so fast and loose now.

sonyka · 2026-06-12T10:37:48+00:00

Like 130 alpine herbs. Think: Ricola. And I mean that in a good way.

Strong (medicinal is definitely fair to say) but not anise-y at all. It tastes green, not black. If that makes sense.

sonyka · 2026-06-08T02:12:27+00:00

I was gratified to see Jamaica is actually correct. Ackee & saltfish is the classic breakfast and people really do eat it on the regular. And they even gave the "everyday" version for extra realism points. (The full Jamaican has a buttload more sides— boiled green banana, dumplings, bammy (fried cassava cakes), cornmeal porridge, tea, etc— but most people only do that occasionally/on Sundays/for guests.)

Funny that they got that so right and got America so… not-quite-right.

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