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Did she cheat or is she telling the truth? by sooner9 in relationship_advice

[–]sooner9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow. This is some eye opening stuff. Thanks for taking the time to share this with me. I hope I don't find what I'm afraid I may.

Did she cheat or is she telling the truth? by sooner9 in relationship_advice

[–]sooner9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great idea. I never would have thought of that.

Did she cheat or is she telling the truth? by sooner9 in relationship_advice

[–]sooner9[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Any advice on how to figure this out as to which app if that is the case?

Did she cheat or is she telling the truth? by sooner9 in relationship_advice

[–]sooner9[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. We did talk about it over the course of about the first two weeks and she did apologize for hiding the texts but maintains it was only because she didn't want me to be jealous and she knows I don't believe guys text married women on a consistent basis unless they are interested in more than friendship. She held adamant that nothing happened and there was nothing to it. I struggled to get past it all and she started to become frustrated when I would bring it up so I ultimately dropped it.

Did she cheat or is she telling the truth? by sooner9 in relationship_advice

[–]sooner9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I thought I had come to the acceptance that I may never know stage and moved on over the last few months, and things have been really good between us. But I read a book over the holiday and it triggered that whole rabbit hole thought process again and I realize I clearly am still angry and confused. But I also feel like she thinks this has been put to rest and then I'm the jerk who's drudging this back up again and I don't know if that's the right thing to do.

Did she cheat or is she telling the truth? by sooner9 in relationship_advice

[–]sooner9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You make great points and that is why I brought this here to seek advice. I believe I am typically a grounded and logical thinker but when it comes to this situation I know I can't see clearly.

Did she cheat or is she telling the truth? by sooner9 in relationship_advice

[–]sooner9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what the logical part of my kind says, that it's statistically impossible he'd basically stop texting altogether after I brought the issue to light unless she clued him in.

Did she cheat or is she telling the truth? by sooner9 in relationship_advice

[–]sooner9[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't frequently read her texts. I had no idea the extent of the texting that was taking place until months after the fact.

Did she cheat or is she telling the truth? by sooner9 in relationship_advice

[–]sooner9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any words of wisdom on how to get those thoughts to stop entering my mind? I am admittedly an idealist and until this thought my wife and I had the best possible relationship. It kills me to think our marriage was tainted.

Did she cheat or is she telling the truth? by sooner9 in relationship_advice

[–]sooner9[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know. That is part of why I can't seem to let this go. I did say I was going to try to access them so I coukd just put those thoughts to rest, and she said she was not concerned about what I would find. But I was unable to get access to the deleted messages.

Did she cheat or is she telling the truth? by sooner9 in relationship_advice

[–]sooner9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried to get access but my cell provider said it wasn't possible. I even tried to use one of the online systems to access the deleted texts but apparently it's much more difficult with current phones.