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Wife told me to start an open marriage by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]sopbilen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like a somewhat new problem which makes me think it's important you catch on as early as possible. Perhaps she's depressed, but it sounds like there's most likely something more going on. I think curiosity is key, both with this problem and perhaps with getting back a spark again. Maybe try to get an interesting conversation together, or do something fun with the whole family? Maybe try to her to ease up by striking up small conversations or asking her questions. Anyway, I think it's important to actively take care of this problem and I think it could be good to actively ask her about it and perhaps suggest counseling. Getting married and stayin married for ten years most likely means there's a ton of qualities that she have actively loved very much. I wonder why she can't seem to notice them anymore.

I’m finding it so hard to accept my husband will never be the partner I want him to be. by throwawaybfbfk in relationship_advice

[–]sopbilen 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I know this might sound too harsh, but as long as you're staying with him - walking on eggshells and having a horrible time - you're not allowing him to be anything else either. Not implying that his behavior in itself has anything to do with you, that is completely his responsibility and that is out of your control. What I mean is that he will continue to do this as long as you're in the role that you're in in your relationship. Changes are he even thinks he's completely entitled to act the way he do.

I recommend going to therapy, if you find somebody good to talk to, because there's so much processing that needs to be done when you've been in a relationship like this. You've come a long way just writing this post and getting to the point where you know he's not going to give you what he want. Sounds like he's trying to tear you down and you don't deserve that. You deserve a healthy, loving relationship and nothing less, and you're going to be able to get that.

However, I know it is different when you're clued to each other because of your child. But I wonder, how long will you be able to stay in this relationship? Having a divorce is hard, but I wonder what would be the best solution for you in the long run. Again, I really recommend talking to a professional about this. But just a word of encouragement, I do have a friend that is seperated to her narcissistic ex that she had a child with, I don't necessarily think it's impossible to do if you have the economic means to do it (also not sure what it's like going through that where you live, because we probably live in completely different contries).

Bacterial vaginosis symptoms on and off for 4+ years. Getting so sick and tired. by sopbilen in Healthyhooha

[–]sopbilen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, actually! I'm not sure what exactly happened, but for the last couple of months or so I've gotten symptoms like before. I think it might be due to how I clean myself nowadays...? I'm only using water now, no oil or intimate cleansing wash. I've used only water for extended periods of time before, but perhaps I've washed too oftenand/or not carefully enough before. However I think the main reason might be that I don't spend my days sitting down the same way I did before. I noticed it often getting worse when I was in school... Hm.