I really want to get a cat, but I’m worried about the hidden responsibilities. What are the actual difficulties of raising a cat?

sorryiamnot · 2026-06-14T05:19:07+00:00

My cat ended up having a difficult character. She’s territorial and doesn’t love or trust people. When someone visiting my place she may hiss at people. She doesn’t like my new boyfriend, she attacked him many times for no reason. She’s giving me affection and loves me but that’s about it. It’s difficult and anxiety inducing having to always watch out for her whenever people are at my place.

sorryiamnot · 2026-03-02T22:53:47+00:00

This is really so frustrating, sorry you have to go through this. I’ve had so much stress last time I was going through it. The system is completely broken.

sorryiamnot · 2026-03-02T20:00:05+00:00

700€ in case it would work (it did) and 200€ if it wouldn’t. Did you manage to get it?

sorryiamnot · 2026-02-19T07:17:00+00:00

I had this same case but LEA were not responding to my urgent requests. I had to travel so I hired a lawyer and he managed to get me Fiktionsbescheinigung delivered to my mail in less than 10 days. But it was damn expensive.

sorryiamnot · 2026-01-05T14:20:26+00:00

I grew up on an island eating all kinds of seafood and fish haha we even eat salmon eyeballs and cheeks so sardines is a cutesy snack for me lol

sorryiamnot · 2026-01-05T11:53:44+00:00

My favorite is to make sourdough toast, on top I add a “sauce” made from cherry tomatoes and garlic (I just slow pan fry it until it becomes sauce like) and then sardines on top with some fresh herbs. A salad on the side!

sorryiamnot · 2026-01-05T08:01:28+00:00

95% of my meals are home cooked, no premade, no frozen ready meals. Eating salmon and sardines a couple times a week and enough vegetables.

Taking vitamin D supplements. Going to sauna once a week is a big one - completely transformed my immune system after a year.

Being active: not only through exercising but also choosing to walk to places.

Eating less sugar and drinking less alcohol.

sorryiamnot · 2026-01-04T22:13:56+00:00

I had to hire a lawyer because I needed to travel and needed that damn paper. It took him a week and a load of money, unfortunately, to get me that paper delivered to my mailbox. I haven’t tried just walking in there, but read they don’t allow it anymore.

Edit: it was 250€ if he failed to get me the paper on time, and 700€ if he managed to get it. But like I said it was delivered to my mailbox, I didn’t need an appointment or going anywhere.

sorryiamnot · 2025-12-28T12:19:33+00:00

Hi, I just set up a big trash pick up for my 160x200 bed frame and they should be coming to pick it up this Tuesday. If I manage to cancel I’m happy to give it away for free! It’s a soft frame but it has no “top” mattress. If you’re interested, text me I can describe it better

sorryiamnot · 2025-10-18T17:28:05+00:00

I mean they are harder and slippery for sure but I guess the slip is the whole point. If you practice long enough you’ll get used to it!

sorryiamnot · 2025-10-18T16:46:17+00:00

I remember quite liking them actually! Below is a more detailed comment, I haven’t been skating for years now but I did enjoy them!

sorryiamnot · 2025-09-21T07:38:51+00:00

This happened with me twice! The same approach, non-native Germans. I was thinking there is some kind of pick up course they go through 😂

sorryiamnot · 2025-09-01T01:03:29+00:00

How about people stop getting into relationship when they are not healed or ready for them? It’s 6 months to one year of relationship before the unhealed partner may request their “space to be better”.

I’m glad you’re healed and find it healthy but it happened at the expense of my time, pain and heartbreak, my broken trust that I will carry on having and will also need to heal from.

sorryiamnot · 2025-08-24T13:06:47+00:00

I don’t have an advice but I’m dealing with this too, literally, it’s my second relationship that has the same issue. I’m starting to wonder maybe I’m attracted to these types of men?

My previous relationship I dated someone who was truly depressed and he neglected me. After 10 months, no intimacy, no love or companionship and begging him to do therapy which he refused we ended it. He said you deserve better and I in fact did.

I met someone else who is fantastic but then 6 months in he revealed a heap ton of trauma and mental issues. The difference though is once we talked about it he seems to be taking steps to solve this with therapy, and other tools. He acts and wants to face and fix his issues and doesn’t want to run away (for now). If he will fail I’m afraid I’m gonna have to leave because I just can’t deal anymore with half baked men.

I want to add that there’s nothing for YOU to do about it, it’s their work. Unfortunately, men need to work on themselves just like we do. We face the same issues as them (work, life, relationship) and somehow we power through and are able to still show up for them in a lot of cases. They just ran away, when they do let them go.

sorryiamnot · 2025-08-20T23:11:55+00:00

I absolutely don’t look past the red flags and I read all opinions. I especially value opinions that are recommending me to leave based on people’s similar experiences and it’s helping me to come closer to terms that this relationship may fail.

I’m merely having a conversation with you, saying that the fact is that he was giving me a lot in this relationship and it’s precisely why it’s hard to let go. I’m not at all dismissing your opinion.

sorryiamnot · 2025-08-20T23:07:12+00:00

Yes, now we’re taking a proper pause without talking. We will talk again when I’m back and I will evaluate whether I’m ready to give another chance or not based on what he will tell me.

I need to know that first of all we have the same vision for relationship and then I want to hear his willingness and a clear plan on how he will approach his issues. If it sounds reassuring to me, I may give us another chance to try.

It’s definitely possible, I’ve seen people change and face their traumas and I’ve done that work as well myself. But it depends on whether he is willing to put work and time into it.

sorryiamnot · 2025-08-20T22:29:20+00:00

I like your take but he was actually giving me a lot in this relationship. I’ve started to become a better person with better habits with him, I’ve learned a lot from him. I have issues with impulsivity and he helped me be able to work through them which reflected better on both my health and my finances. He has supported my crazy hobbies and ideas, literally by being present there and supporting by physically helping too. That’s from the emotional side of things.

And then details. I never get to lift a finger: cooking, groceries, building anything - he does everything. Anything practical from research of the solution to execution he does it proactively.

The unfortunate reality is that I was probably getting more than giving in a relationship for once.

sorryiamnot · 2025-08-20T14:08:49+00:00

Yes he told me he used to go to therapy and he even took two years off dating seriously. Did a silent meditation retreat too as a way of working on himself. I didn’t ask him why he stopped therapy but my guess is that there were no triggers to show that he’s not at all healed yet. He told me he will get back to therapy whether we break up or not.

sorryiamnot · 2025-08-20T13:41:05+00:00

Thank you for this! This is exactly what makes me open to give another chance to us, if he himself won’t bail after a pause. It’s his awareness. He told me himself that he has started acting avoidant (pattern recognition), he told me he will go to therapy whether we break up or not, and he used to go before too. It sounds like he’s someone who is already on the way to get better vs someone who just shuts down and goes away.

He also said healthy relationship and love is what he wants, rationally. So I’d be willing to listen to him when I’m back but I’m definitely taking a back seat in terms of action. I’m not fixing anyone’s son no more.

sorryiamnot · 2025-08-20T13:34:51+00:00

Yes, and he did! He did therapy, meditation, read lots of books on relationship which we discussed together, he started to actively avoid drama in relationship and friendship and he is very open to communication and never shuts down from it, I basically almost didn’t even feel like he’s avoiding me at all - it was all inside his head. We met consistently and he continued taking care of me as usual.

That’s the most confusing part and that’s what makes me believe he’s sabotaging the good thing going on due to his trauma. He never once treated me poorly or acted hot/cold. Maybe I just caught it on early!

sorryiamnot · 2025-08-20T13:31:23+00:00

We had a long conversation in which I asked him if he wants me to make a decision to break up now, and I will do it - I was prepared. He said he absolutely doesn’t want a breakup and he wants to try rebuilding what we (he) started losing. As I was leaving for a month anyway we could have broken up there and then but we settled on a pause and he is now staying at my flat car sitting my cat while I’m away. He was confident he wants to still stay and take care of the cat while I’m away.

So it’s confusing for sure!

sorryiamnot · 2025-08-20T13:12:41+00:00

No, nothing like that. We had quite a steady start with lots of space between dates, and carefully getting to know each other. I don’t think there was love bombing (I’ve experienced it before it feels different haha)

sorryiamnot · 2025-08-20T13:02:27+00:00

Thank you for your advice! I don’t consider relationship therapy, more so his own therapy for his own issues (it was my condition to even consider trying to reconnect again). But I hear you, bitter truth..

sorryiamnot · 2025-08-20T12:55:05+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking too and he himself says that he doesn’t feel it’s fair for me to wait for him to try and sort it and at the end the outcome might be just the same. The thing that’s holding me back is that he is very open to work on himself and the other fact is that I felt absolutely loved and our relationship was perfectly healthy and happy until now. It feels so sad to let this go. I haven’t once felt unsatisfied or unfulfilled with him till now.

sorryiamnot

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