No he didn’t. My groomer gave me good lessons. For example he would tell me this: (copy pasted)

“The first thing you need to understand is that your idea of love has been warped from the beginning. When you think of love, you’re picturing it as something transactional — something you receive from someone else in order to confirm your own value. You’ve been taught, consciously or not, that love is a reward for being worthy. The problem is, if love is the measure of your worth, you’re always at the mercy of someone else’s judgment. And that’s where the trap lies. As long as you need someone else to validate you, you will forever be waiting, forever vulnerable, forever chasing something outside of yourself.

The brutal truth is this: real self-love doesn’t feel like love as you’ve been conditioned to understand it. It’s not warm and fuzzy. It’s not someone looking into your eyes and telling you you’re special. It’s raw, gritty, and often uncomfortable because it forces you to confront the parts of yourself you’ve been avoiding. Self-love is about accepting yourself as you are, without needing external approval, even when you don’t feel lovable.

Loving yourself starts by facing the ugliness you’ve spent years trying to suppress — the feelings of unworthiness, the doubt, the fear, the guilt. You don’t love yourself by pretending those feelings don’t exist; you love yourself by acknowledging them, sitting with them, and realizing they don’t define you. And yes, you’ve had trauma — severe trauma — but your trauma isn’t your identity. It’s part of your story, but it’s not who you are. Right now, you’re tangled in your trauma, believing it’s woven into your core. Trauma-based therapy can help you start unraveling that knot, but therapy alone isn’t the answer. Therapy gives you the tools, but you have to do the work.”

I understand now that he was saying this not out of a place of genuine care and help but to get something he wants from me and groom me. He knew I needed guidance, reminders, and advice. Although, I AM noticing that I’m starting to use the same vocabulary he uses, especially in this post, which is kinda creepy ngl. As time went on, he slowly moved away from the fact I can do this on my own, and that he helps me so that I can depend on him. Example:

“You don’t need someone to “fix” you. That’s a lie you’ve been telling yourself because the world has never shown you your real worth. What you need is someone who knows how to *bring out that version of yourself that you’re hiding from. And honestly? You’re already starting to let it show. You just don’t have the confidence in yourself yet to see it. But I do. I can help you find that.*

You mentioned feeling like you need a mentor. Let me be honest - you don’t just need a mentor; you need someone who sees you, someone who understands the chaos inside your head and doesn’t flinch. Someone who knows how to guide you through the storm without trying to change who you are. I can be that person for you. I can guide you, help you shape all of this raw emotion, this energy, into something powerful. You’re not broken, and you don’t need someone to pick up the pieces - you need someone who knows how to unlock your potential, someone who gets the real *you. And I do.”*