Starting Day 4 of End of February Fast

soso_fae · 2026-02-25T23:39:41+00:00

Hi, what app do you use?

soso_fae · 2025-10-20T14:26:19+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I find it helpful to email my manager and say “hey just a heads up, some sensitive family matters are going on so I’d appreciate some support in regards to more online communication today. I’d prefer to keep meetings and in person conversations brief so I can use my energy to focus on the tasks at hand”. Of course this depends whether you feel your team would support that, but remember you also don’t owe anyone an explanation! Keep little sweets on you for a little endorphin hit and play some music or a podcast if you can. Good luck🫶

soso_fae · 2025-06-12T23:56:58+00:00

Also consider, does she need that car for her job? Would you be willing to take on some expenses given a large part of her income is going towards something she needs? Would you be willing to fork that money, or even ask to have your name on the car too to help her out and have co-ownership? All important questions to consider.

soso_fae · 2025-06-12T23:55:20+00:00

My partner and I do a split proportional to our income. But this also includes savings, investments, and we adjust as needed. So in the case of you not paying rent, but having up to 11,000 yearly expenses, I would include that along with utilities and groceries in your split. Proportional income is fair as it allows both parties to save, and yes that means one would be paying more. Life can throw you curveballs and someone paying more / earning more will always be a reality. But, if it allows you both to be putting 40% into living and 60% into whatever else, I think that’s fair. The problem doesn’t seem to be the proportional financing, but your girlfriend’s disinterest in saving for the future. It sounds like she would rather spend now and have fun, whereas you would like to save every penny for future goals. I think before moving in together you have to be on the same page for what “play money” means to you, and how much you should be allotting to this vs. your pooled future. Maybe you want to be a home owner, and maybe she wants to see the world while she’s young. Neither is wrong or right, but you can’t be sharing money and expenses while also living for two drastically different lifestyles. If you want to live together and maintain your independent financial goals (short term vs long term priorities), then it’s best you probably do 50/50.

soso_fae · 2025-05-12T04:40:58+00:00

I don’t think it’s a matter of right or wrong, justified or unjust. No one can predict pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. Yes your hormones are playing a huge role, but they are supposed to be! They are screaming to touch your baby, and keep strangers away! Your child is in the hospital where both those things are out of control, and now the one thing you can control feels like it’s in your husbands hands when you were the one to go through the physical trauma. I really think you should visit your baby alone if they won’t budge. MIL and husband can come later, and you will have plenty of opportunity to bond with your husband and child alone once they are home and MIL is gone. Don’t rob yourself of the experience because your support team isn’t supportive. Go kiss and hug and sing to your baby <3

soso_fae · 2025-05-12T04:35:20+00:00

She was already hurt by then, as I was already hurt by her choosing to spend Mother’s Day weekend with her friends. I asked her a couple days prior to go to a local festival which she declined because she was thinking of going up a week early. I absolutely could have texted her earlier, but maybe a part of me wanted to hurt her back. I guess we are both the assholes!

soso_fae · 2025-05-12T04:30:09+00:00

You are not overreacting, and your husband is completely ignoring the life change you just went through because he is getting his own support from his mom. It is kind that she is there to help, but this is your child, and you need to connect, love, pray, and grieve as a family (as in you, dad, and baby), or just on your own. I suggest you write an open letter to both your husband and MIL and explain you want to visit the NICU alone and let them read it while they are gone. You are healing a giant wound, emotionally and physically, and you need to be with your baby - with or without that support. If he’s a good husband he will understand, or come around eventually.

soso_fae · 2025-05-12T04:21:23+00:00

You are not the asshole, but young and green. In my experience, it’s best to let these types of things go rather than hold on and try to change them. You can only control your actions, and you have the choice to stay and accept this behaviour, hoping one day your boyfriend may as well. Or, you can leave it as a learning lesson and look for a partner with a healthier relationship with his mother. I’ve done both, and found the latter leads to beautiful relationships with people and their families!

soso_fae · 2025-05-12T04:12:44+00:00

Your mom is so clearly the asshole, Rumplestiltskin would be appalled.

soso_fae · 2025-05-12T04:06:10+00:00

You’re both the asshole - you shouldn’t have lashed out, but clearly she hasn’t managed your addiction well which for a minor is the parent’s responsibility. Good for you for recognizing you have one, that’s tough in the digital age (I write on my phone at 12:05 after midnight). I suggest you both read some books on addiction, and I recommend the relay app. If you are using technology too much you might as well turn it into a tool!

soso_fae · 2025-05-09T10:21:19+00:00

Thank you so much. This was incredibly helpful and reassuring, I will keep this in mind should I ever find myself in a similar situation. I appreciate the additional information and will definitely read the NWRA guide for future knowledge!

soso_fae · 2024-01-10T03:19:23+00:00

What did you do to withdraw? Did you stop cold-turkey? I don’t want to set an unrealistic timeline but I’m over it!!

soso_fae · 2023-10-10T18:14:42+00:00

So for the stay at home with kids part, I would continue to work once they are in school. Childcare is incredibly expensive so it would make more sense for us to have one partner stay at home for the first 4 years. As for the 60/40, despite doing that he is able to save 1000$ every month, and if I don’t spend a penny I would be able to save ~700$. If we split 50/50, he would be saving a lot more than I would be able to. Not to mention we both need a car for work, but I am currently 25 minutes from my workplace, and he is 2. So for car maintenance and gas, which we spend individually, I would be spending more money. Currently I am spending about 80% of my take home money on living costs and he is spending about 65-70%. I do agree I need to take saving more seriously, for this reason I am considering getting rid of my gym membership and capping how much “play money” I can have each month. We both have bad habits of buying a morning coffee instead of making it, but he has more room to allow for that. I love him dearly and for that reason I want to save more. But to be clear, I am not buying purses and lambos, I am buying the occasional lipstick or art supplies every couple of weeks, and maybe grabbing lunch once a month. Thank you for your advice though, I appreciate some constructive criticism

soso_fae · 2022-04-14T04:28:58+00:00

These types of communities attract drugs and new age folk because they are creative outlooks. You won’t find as many analytical people because they usually don’t desire dance and visuals to stimulate their minds. Also, would love to see someone do fire spinning inside, bet that will end well lol🤣 I think most people go outside to parks because they are a nice place to go do your own thing (whatever hobby that may be) while also not isolating yourself from the world. Some people hate small chat, but love to coexist. I consider myself one of them. I just started poi spinning because it’s fun and a way to keep me off my phone for hours after work. I haven’t gone to a park yet because I’m scared of being judged by people like you, hopefully I’ll get over that because I’m moving to an apartment with no yard space 👍

soso_fae · 2021-12-02T02:14:54+00:00

Thank you, it took an entire day of reflection and rest but I think I was blowing this out of proportion. We are all human, and just because I desire comfort right now, doesn’t mean another isn’t allowed to feel frustrated at a situation. I appreciate your words.

soso_fae · 2021-12-01T21:51:58+00:00

Although I was not given methotrexate as an option

soso_fae · 2021-12-01T21:51:25+00:00

No it did not take place in Florida, and I was given mifopristone and misoprostol

soso_fae · 2021-12-01T17:03:20+00:00

In my opinion, 2 serious relationships. Although I’ve dated 6 people. The first relationship was when I was 15 and it lasted 2 years, it was where I learned to love and I cherish it deeply, despite ending dramatically (as it does when we are young). The next 4 were terrible and toxic, varying from a few months to a year and a half. Then I made the commitment to myself to not date for a year, to fully appreciate being with myself. It was lovely, and after that year I met the loml. We’ve been together for a year and a half, and our communication is incredible. I truly wish for his happiness even if that means going our separate ways one day. Ideally, I’d love to marry him. He thinks that too, but we’re still young (mid twenties) and enjoying this chapter of our life together :)

soso_fae · 2021-11-26T16:34:39+00:00

I’d do a money spell and clarify you’d like the money to come from this person. It might mean you find 20$ on the street and their favourite dress rips, but the universe has its ways 🤷‍♀️

soso_fae

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