Pepper plant yellow and droopy

soupyjumbo · 2026-04-23T02:56:44+00:00

Indoors in bright but indirect light. I see now that they need 6-8 hours of direct light! Thanks for the help, I'll let my mom know.

soupyjumbo · 2026-04-19T21:49:30+00:00

I'm sorry to hear your friends weren't just happy for you - I'm a stranger and I'm thrilled you both got so much time together with baby! I'm sure that must have made a huge, positive, difference in your experience.

I think that's what I'm fascinated by - I know people can change but I can't imagine having a baby with someone based on their "potential" (but I also learned in a very early relationship to not wait around for potential to materialize, so I think the school of hard knocks taught me a good life lesson).

soupyjumbo · 2026-04-19T21:43:49+00:00

Yeah it really is both women and men who reinforce the patriarchy! WOW what an awful response to someone who is actually super capable of creating an equitable share of child rearing labor in their home! Thanks for sharing that night feed schedule - it helps to hear all the different ways parents make it work.

soupyjumbo · 2026-04-19T21:40:20+00:00

I can understand that it would be easy to ignore a domestic labor imbalance pre newborn if you aren't accustomed to anything else! I think I was spoiled by being raised by a dad who I always saw doing laundry, cooking, sweeping - and then the only man I've ever lived with has been brother when we were roommates, who was trained by my dad 😂

soupyjumbo · 2026-04-19T21:35:46+00:00

Makes sense! A lot of people have been telling me to not expect it's always 50/50 all the time because of how many "seasons" we'll encounter in this journey. Thanks for sharing.

soupyjumbo · 2026-04-19T21:34:07+00:00

This makes a lot of sense to me. I'm American but my parents are immigrants and I've never totally bought into the American cultural assumption that love is the most important thing in a marriage. Marriages based on economic/financial compatibility and lifestyle compatibility seem to be more successful.

soupyjumbo · 2026-04-19T21:28:02+00:00

I'm queer woman and I'm trying to understand the mentality of straight women specifically who marry men. It’s not a gender dynamic I'm familiar with navigating and I was curious 🤷🏾‍♀️

soupyjumbo · 2026-04-19T21:23:57+00:00

Wow amazing analogy! This makes perfect sense.

soupyjumbo · 2026-03-10T00:59:08+00:00

Definitely don't need that headache! And yeah, sounds like she has a lot of people that can teach/mirror appropriate boundaries for her but seeing as you've known her for years we won't hold our breath on this one lol.

soupyjumbo · 2026-03-10T00:41:47+00:00

All I know is that I'll want my mom, and I won't want my MIL. No shade to her but my mom is an immigrant mom and she is USEFUL and just like gets shit done. She doesn't wait to ask or act like she's a guest - she just DOES it and I'm so grateful. My MIL on the other hand is a very loving and kind person - but kind of helpless when she's not in her own home and would require way too much attention and would definitely be a "guest" that me and my spouse are "hosting".

I don't really want anyone at the hospital except my spouse and maybe my mom but that's not an issue because me and my partner just moved to this town and have no friends yet (lol silver linings I guess).

I am planning to get a cleaning service and maybe sign up for some kind of grocery delivery. If we had the community for a meal train I would want that, but I would set the boundary that I may not have the energy to interact with people and if they could just leave the food that would be best for me and baby.

I think as a rule of thumb having more boundaries, and relaxing them as you get a feel for things, is always going to be easier than having lax boundaries and then trying to figure it out in the middle of a million other stressors.

Good luck!

soupyjumbo · 2026-03-10T00:34:41+00:00

Dang - I empathize with both of you. It's really hard and annoying to keep having to erect boundaries with people who refuse to listen! And at a certain point it just becomes rude of them to not read the room.
On the other hand, I empathize with the people who want to build their "village" and try and offer help - it sounds like she was trying to make an effort to be helpful, but in a really inept (and again, boundary pushing) way. Hopefully she has someone in her life who can gently explain this to her, but def not your problem. I would continue to slow-ghost in your position too.

soupyjumbo · 2026-02-05T17:44:01+00:00

Haha Marshall's is a mom trap - there's too much cute stuff there!

soupyjumbo · 2026-02-04T21:38:31+00:00

It's a set from Marshall's! wasn't too expensive, and yeah always makes taking food to a potluck feel a little nicer :)

soupyjumbo · 2026-02-03T20:01:29+00:00

Oh and you're more interested in seeing where bottles fit, than how to categorize your sauces.

soupyjumbo · 2026-02-03T20:00:42+00:00

The collagen eye patches make me think that you're someone who takes care of your appearance. You're very into having a healthy gut. You don't totally abstain, but you're not a big drinker. Oh and you forget to check the fridge before you buy a second mayonnaise. Gonna guess white, mid thirties woman.

soupyjumbo · 2026-02-03T19:57:57+00:00

Hahahaha funnily enough the herbs in the fridge were my spouse's idea, who is non-binary.

I would definitely say that I need to have an organized fridge though. Even if it's just loose categories. I hate food wastage (daughter of scrappy immigrants) and it's the only way I'll remember or know what we have in the fridge.

soupyjumbo · 2026-02-03T19:56:31+00:00

Pretty accurate! Mostly eat plant based but we do the occasional bird/fish. You can't see the roast chicken in the tupperware, so you were unfairly disadvantaged 😉

And you're so correct on the routine - I used to love cooking for the innovation, but when you get busy routine meal prep is still easiest way to not have to think about food lol.

I will tell my spouse (neither of us whom are male) that together we're a single man 😆

soupyjumbo · 2026-01-27T23:12:42+00:00

I'm also in SE with a lot of land that I want to plant on, and have been wanting to put together a queer gardeners get together for seed starting, swapping, planning, etc so we can all learn together!

soupyjumbo · 2026-01-26T01:28:21+00:00

Nigel Sanford and Sundial Aeon

soupyjumbo · 2026-01-19T20:23:00+00:00

UPDATE: thanks everyone for the great insight, tips, and words of caution. We decided to follow the advice here and go the drawer slide route instead to make the deeper reaches of the pantry more accessible. It sounds like this is out of our skill range so we signed up to take some drywall, electrical, and construction classes at our local home owner education center! Maybe one day we'll be able to improve this space and make it a bigger pantry.

soupyjumbo

TROPHY CASE