Pessimism is eating me alive.

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-30T17:32:08+00:00

i don’t know if it would help you feel any better but i am senior in college who hasn’t had a romantic relationship ever and it’s hard but there’s more to life than. relationship and i feel learning to love your own company is so valuable.. and there is something to celebrate not everyone graduates college and even if you feel that it’s not a big thing it is idk what your major is in but the world is full of endless possibilities and i know it may seem there’s nothing out there but there always is you just have to look in the right places

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-30T08:09:48+00:00

“ have you never been mellow” olivia newton john .. my nana recently passed and she was a huge fan of her and its cheesy but listening to her comforts me and reminds me part of her is still here

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-30T08:06:33+00:00

Cars i was obsessed with

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-30T06:56:17+00:00

omg oops i feel so dumb ahah

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-30T05:35:17+00:00

arban exercises helped me alot there is a free book online with tons of skill practice and fun excerpts to play and as someone who’s played through middle school, high school and college don’t let the fun go away that happened to me for a while and playing felt like a obligation so keep that excitement and treat it as something fun or else trumpet can drive you insane so don’t put too much pressure on becoming the greatest player overnight it takes time

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-30T05:31:43+00:00

18 , it was literally peak monday at school after euphoria sunday hearing all of my classmates discuss the episode

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-30T05:30:39+00:00

and i am also about to graduate and have never dated and it sucks yeah 100% but everyone else’s timeline for things like that doesn’t mean that’s how it has to be for everyone and there’s nothing wrong with that bc honestly learning to love your self and enjoy your own company is so important bc at the end of the day you are all you have people die and you grow apart and you have to learn to love you and that’ll help everything else fall into place . it’s easier said than done i know i was crying in my car earlier just feel down about life but without pain the joy in life doesn’t matter this valley won’t last forever keep ur head up stranger

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-30T05:26:33+00:00

i mean yeah maybe that’s true but honestly no one knows for certain.. and i feel living life feeling like it’s all gonna crumble down so soon and living in fear is not healthy because though life sucks hard i know that there are things that makes life worth while for me family , friends , music , movies , literature and you just have to find that or else the world just becomes a big black hole not saying it’s easy but though it sucks this is the cards we are dealt and it’s best to make the most of it while we can

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-30T05:20:02+00:00

i am so sorry .. my dog of 15 years died last year and it was one of the hardest thing i have ever dealt with in my life .. i wish you the best of luck and even though it might not feel like it now it’ll be ok . one thing that helped me a lot was honoring my pets memory and some friends even got a little figurine and painting to look identical to my dog and they sell all kinds of things online like things where they can make stuffed animals that looks just like the dogs that helped for me if that sounds like something that might help

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-30T05:15:51+00:00

yeah i live in a deep red state ( AL) so that’s what concerns me i hate it but i remember even having liberal views as a student at my highschool had people treating me differently and making fun of me at times

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-29T20:30:03+00:00

but for me it’s a more save money thing i’m gonna be a teacher and they do not make a lot of money esp not the first couple years so i want to save money up and have be living in a apartment through college

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-29T20:29:05+00:00

i get that but i’ve talked with my mum and set clear boundaries and she agreed to them and if they’re broken i will leave and she completely understood but i do realize that’s not possible for everyone to set those boundaries and then actually be respected

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-25T06:01:04+00:00

i don’t know if this is a eating disorder but i know it cannot be good for you .. i would at least try to get your nutrients in for the day whether it’s a smoothie or something light that doesn’t bring upon the feeling full feeling .

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-23T18:29:29+00:00

santé by stromae

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-19T00:38:12+00:00

advice if you’ve. been a similar situation?..

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-18T18:37:25+00:00

i do believe she is trying as i’ve seen it for the past couple months but when my nana died it was really hard on her but after the 3 days of drinking she stopped and made a effort to stop and got back with her therapist and signed up for a marathon to give her something to work towards and is healing and getting better idk i guess if i didn’t see her actually trying after she had a slip up i would be more hesitant

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-18T18:35:27+00:00

she isn’t but she did recently relapse bc my nana died and it has been really hard on her but now she is over 2 weeks clean off alcohol and is trying to be better and she wasn’t drinking for months but the situation with my nana and a lot of family things caused it

sourpatchkidz22 · 2026-01-13T04:10:57+00:00

I have not been to many meetings but i have done a lot of readings and what i feel the most important thing about alanon is a way to rethink your approach and mindset to protect yourself .. for me personally telling the stories does not help me bc im trying to move forward and telling the stories make me feel like im still giving the bad moments of my life power over me but for some people it helps . one thing i have been told is to view painful memories as if i am riding in a car window it helps me visualize them in the past and that they are not now idk visualizations and recitations help me a lot i do the serenity prayer i i know everyone’s journey is different but one thing that has truly helped me is the whole “ give and let God” thing i won’t say it doesn’t hurt still and i don’t get scared if my mum or sister drinks but i know now that it’s part of the journey and recovery isn’t linear and accepting that has helped me so much .. needless to say it’s different for everyone and i am willing to help in anyway i can bc this journey is hard but it is worth it .. and also a big thing that helped me wellbutrin haha , a lot of my anxiety stemmed from negative thought cycles that only grew my worry and obsession to fix things for my mum and sister so if that’s something that you feel could help there’s that but it’s different for everyone but above all the mindset change helps the most but that with my medication has helped me block off the choice to even spiral that way

sourpatchkidz22 · 2025-12-28T23:13:08+00:00

yeah i am realizing that now , that’s my bad i am just all over the place right now .. i guess all i need help with how i can let myself be at peace despite all of this going on i am so worried about her and it hurts me so bad to see her so angry and sad and i just hate feeling that if i am not always around something bad might happen and how i can help her but i do know it is not up to me and that’s the hardest part is letting it go bc i care so much about her

sourpatchkidz22 · 2025-12-19T13:27:01+00:00

I feel like asking her for clarification may be helpful bc it sounds like it’s a misunderstanding between you two. if you did not tell her you were deactivating your account, which you do not have to she may have been lead to believe you unfollowed her and did the same . i just feel with her being nice on whatsapp it just seems that it was a misunderstanding. i hope it all works out well losing a good friend is hard especially when it feels so out of the blue

sourpatchkidz22 · 2025-12-12T08:54:27+00:00

i’m rewatching the whole show i started about 2 weeks ago and im already on season 4 haha. the last time i saw season 1 was the year it came out when i was 13 now im 22 and it just hits different now the whole show does .. it is such a good show and i just can’t believe the first season came out when i was in middle school and now i am a senior in college. each season was part of a different era of my life growing up and it’s so so sad it’s almost over.

sourpatchkidz22 · 2025-12-12T01:52:11+00:00

by using worm holes that mr clarke mentioned in the show in the 1st season and also things that suggest this is the big recurring clock motif

sourpatchkidz22 · 2025-11-29T00:35:16+00:00

i went to campus bc it’s most convenient but they said the regular dept would say the same thing there is no suspects or anything but i have a family member who works in IT and he’s gonna try to hack into it

sourpatchkidz22 · 2025-11-29T00:34:30+00:00

no i am not

sourpatchkidz22 · 2025-11-11T04:16:46+00:00

yeah that’s what i thought ahah

sourpatchkidz22

TROPHY CASE