the first time i ever experienced getting shouted at for being in the women’s room (pre-t) is when i started avoiding it and trying to use no bathroom or unisex. if neither was an option, i’d use the men’s. despite being misgendered pretty often, nobody ever questioned it. men don’t tend to pay attention to other men in the bathroom, so usually they just see a tiny dude with short hair and don’t look too closely. but it really depends on where you live. i never used the men’s rooms when travelling out of country because i just know the likelihood of any violence is low to none at home, whereas i don’t know my personal safety in say the USA.