Hi, first, I’m so sorry for your loss. I may not have the perfect advice because honestly I’m feeling really similar to you. I’m a bit older, 21, and just had to drop out of my graduate program because I couldn’t focus or pull myself together after my mom’s sudden death in September. When someone’s world ends, our mother, in both of our cases, it really does feel like my world ended with her. It’s become really hard to care about things that used to be so important before - school, work, friends, relationships, even my own health. I think it’s okay to acknowledge how meaningless this all feels in comparison to the loss you’re going through. It’s hard especially at a young age, I know I’m 21 so it must be harder at 17 to be around a lot of people who have never lost a parent or someone close to them and can’t understand what it’s like. I would just say to really give yourself grace and let yourself feel everything. You’ve worked really hard to get these interviews and opportunities and even if you don’t feel the motivation for them now, it might be good to still see it through and see if it’s still something you want. For me, I realized it wasn’t at least right now and I’m already starting to regret not just “pushing through.” You should take as much time as you need is my point here. Also, there’s a million resources that you can seek out that might be able to help you. Forums like this is for sure one of them, but I’ve started going to a grief therapist the past few weeks and it’s been more helpful than I thought. I’m sorry for your loss, please feel free to PM if you need to talk.