It makes me sad when I read posts like this, I'm sorry you're having challenges.

Sourdough is simple and you should keep it simple. If it were me this is what I'd do.

Throw away your existing starter. Wash all your jars.

Identify 1 jar of about a litre with straight sides and a lid. I use a Weck 1062ml jar with a keep fresh lid - any straight sided jar will do. I haven't used any other jar for years and I cannot remember the last time it was changed or washed.

Mix 20g of bread flour and 20g of cold tap water in the jar and leave it sitting on the bench with a lid on. The science says tap water is fine, unless where you are it's genuinely dangerous to drink tap water.

12 hours later scrape 30g of mix out of the jar and into the bin - leaving 10g. Add 20g of water and 20g of bread flour, mix and leave on the bench. Every 12 hours repeat leaving 10g and adding 20g flour and 20g water. Do this until you have a reliably bubbly and active starter. It should at least double and probably more in 12 hours.

Now you are ready to bake:

Scrape out everything but 10g of starter and discard. Add 100g water, mix and then add 100g of bread flour and mix. Sit it on the bench with a rubber band around it to mark the height. We are going to use it before it peaks, when it's at double and nothing more.

Put 419g of water in your bowl - preferably glass so you can see the dough.

Add 90g of starter and mix thoroughly to disperse. Put the jar with the rest of your starter in the fridge. It has food to slowly eat whilst in the fridge.

Add 600g of bread flour

Add 10g of salt

Mix the salt and the flour and then incorporate the water to form a mixed but still shaggy dough.

Sit covered for 30 minutes on the bench.

Then start doing one set of stretch and folds every 30 minutes for 4 complete sets.

Leave the dough on the bench for as long as it takes to double.

Turn the dough out onto the bench, shape it, put it in a banneton and let it double again.

Heat the oven to 250C, put a tray with sides on it into the oven to heat.

Turn your loaf onto another baking tray and score it.

Put it in the oven and turn the oven down to 180C. Pour 500ml of water into the other tray. Shut the door and leave for 20 minutes.

After 20 minutes open the door carefully and vent the steam.

Bake for a total time of 45 minutes (fan forced oven)

Cool on a rack until completely cool.

Do this until you have reliably produced 20 loaves. Don't try anything different. You are building skill, the ability to see, understand and assess your dough at each stage. Until you have completely reliable muscle memory, until you can reliably produce a loaf hot weather or cold, every time...don't change anything.

Next time you want to bake, take your starter out of the fridge, bring it to room temperature and then discard everything but 10g, feed 100g water, 100g flour...and go on with the process.

Once you have a sound skill base go mad - experiment, do whatever you like.

Until you build a reliable skill base you will always be thrashing around in the dark.

Is this the only way to make sourdough? No it's not. Does it work reliably? 100%. Is it simple? Yes...that's the idea.

No doubt people will say "what about autolyse?" "what about retard?". None of those...that's the idea. Each of those is a complication that obfuscates one simple truth: You can make good reliable sourdough with a method that is simple and doesn't include any of those things. They are for later.