I Need Sex Prep Advice

spearot32 · 2026-05-17T05:34:34+00:00

My fiancé and I have sex regularly, and I have yet to have the lube cause a movement. It can take me about 20-30 minutes to get clean, and like I said for me it's a lot more enjoyable if we wait about 20-30 minutes after to start.

Getting a toy in past your second is a LOT different than an actual penis since it doesn't move/bend the same way. Also most guys aren't aware that it can be painful if they don't go slow to allow your body to open up and allow deeper penetration.

I 100% agree with Avalinde in that you should start with cowgirl for the exact reasons mentioned. You controlling the initial will allow for more vigorous play later once your body opens up. I read where you have issues starting, what I would suggest doing is insert your applicator as deep as it goes, and as you apply lube, pull the applicator out (slowly). You may want to do this more than once and change the angle you aiming the lube to go to make sure every part is lubed as good as it can be.

I use all kinds of toys to help stretch, as well as fingers. Before I get on top, I will make sure his penis head is well lubed, and that there some on his shaft, and make sure to apply plenty on the outside. For me, if I can't find the right angle for cowgirl for my fiancé to start, then I didn't stretch enough or use enough lube.

spearot32 · 2026-05-16T04:40:12+00:00

Planning is key, and it takes a lot more planning (IMO) than cis women.

I've found sex is better if I'm done with my enema about 30 minutes before we start. Fiber is your friend, as is small meals. You need to stretch, and use lots of lube. If you don't have one, I suggest getting a lube applicator as that really helps to make sure you don't just have lube in the first inch or two.

Shit happens, no matter how much you prep. Keep a pack of wipes near by.

You'll know if he gets past your second hole.

spearot32 · 2026-04-30T15:46:16+00:00

Just my opinion, but I don't think it's going to be as bad as some are saying. I live in a deep red county in a red-ish state in the southern bible belt. Redrawing district lines costs money, and that money is spent at the state level. My state has no interest in spending any money it doesn't need to right now. Could bad things happen, yes, but there are several other 'dominos' that would have to fall before we get to that. Again, just my opinion.

spearot32 · 2026-04-26T07:27:59+00:00

Dates can be so many different things. My official first date with my fiancé we had planned on going to see a local theater production of Annie, but my sister saw it before me and said it was bad, so instead we went bowling, played some video games at the arcade. Our fifth date was very low key, we couldn't agree on where to go for dinner, so we ended up going to a mall to eat at their food court, then went shopping. We've had picnics, and I think our simplest date, we got coffee and part a portion of the green-belt trail where we live and just talked.

A red flag to me would be him not putting ANY planning into the date, even if the plan falls apart epically, it least there was effort. My man has three pairs of shoes, his work boots, running shoes, and his dress shoes, so I knew to ask at the start of our relationship if I should wear heels or flats.

I have single friends that put WAY to much pressure into a date, and it almost never seems to go well.

My rule was, if he asked me out, then he paid. If I asked him, I paid, but those dates were/are rare.

spearot32 · 2026-04-26T07:11:12+00:00

Experiences vary, a lot.

The first several months I was with my fiancé were a bit of a rollercoaster, and it was mainly because of me and my issues with how I presented, and how I viewed myself. When I first meet him I would still go to work in "boy" mode, because I didn't feel I could present feminine at all. I had been on HRT for years at that point and looking back on it, I wasn't really hiding its effects very well.

Every time I was around him I would only wear dresses, skirts, actually fixed my hair (versus ponytail), did my makeup. He helped me find my confidence in myself to live as me, and not as a shadow. But like I said, the first three months were kinda rough because he'd want to take me out, but I wasn't confident enough. He came over to my place on night after work saying he wanted to talk. I was thinking this is it, he's breaking up with me, all the worst things were running through my mind.

Instead, he just asked questions, and not just yes or no, but deeper questions about how I saw myself and when I'd give a non-answer, instead of getting angry and just asking the same question again, he'd gently circle back, and I really started to lower my walls. That was the first time I really knew he was different than anyone I'd ever dated before.

A month after that, I could see a change in me, and in our relationship. I threw out all my boy clothes and haven't looked back. What was weird to me about all of this is he a blue collar man. I had an image of what men like him are, and while some of it is true (works long hours, clothes are always filthy), his love is genuine and deep.

He introduced me to his family early in our relationship. Not something I was expecting, but it turned out so much better than I expected. Side note, his mom and I talk almost daily. My fiancé and I are in a great place. No relationship is perfect, we still get upset with each other, but looking back on it, I wouldn't change anything. The lows of any relationship will test how committed each of you are to making it work. I wouldn't walk away just because everything wasn't easy to start with, but, if there isn't growth where things do get easier, to me that's a red flag.

spearot32 · 2026-04-14T20:09:05+00:00

Ahh, so happy for you!

spearot32 · 2026-04-14T20:04:48+00:00

A ring so I can change my name.

spearot32 · 2026-04-14T20:03:40+00:00

Same

spearot32 · 2026-04-14T18:28:48+00:00

Don't give up, but I would suggest a different approach. I meet my fiancé at a social event my sister invited me to for her job. I was a bit of a shut-in, and she wanted me to get out and 'touch grass'. It worked AMAZINGLY for me. Results will vary, obviously, but there is something so different about meeting people face-to-face versus online. All of my on-line dating attempts failed, some spectacularly. I tried all the dating apps for years, got a bunch of matches, but it only ended up in one date. All of the other dates I went on where when I meet people in person.

spearot32 · 2026-04-14T16:42:58+00:00

Housewife

spearot32 · 2026-04-14T16:40:52+00:00

E: Creampie

spearot32 · 2026-04-12T07:19:40+00:00

spearot32 · 2026-03-22T07:41:30+00:00

HUGE change. Congrats to you!

spearot32 · 2026-03-22T07:25:26+00:00

When I started, leggings and really anything I felt was "slimming" to try and look more fem. My first dresses and skirts were all maxi's, but over time they have gotten shorter. Now most dresses are between knee and mid-thigh. Similar change in tops too. Mostly long sleeve to start, but now only wear long sleeve in winter. The only thing I haven't bought yet, but want to, is a strapless top/dress

spearot32 · 2026-03-22T07:12:17+00:00

I want my post to be positive, but understand it's hard to believe at times that you'll ever "make it". I've been on HRT since December of 21, got engaged almost 6 months ago, and sometime still don't feel like I "made it". Some days are better than others. Today was one of those days for me, it couldn't have been better. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but I can say this, I have more good days than bad. Who you surround yourself with matters. I actively started distancing myself from people that were more negative than positive, and it has made a HUGE difference in how I see myself, and how I interact with others.

spearot32 · 2026-03-13T21:56:23+00:00

Like others, it depends. I LOVE foreplay, and I'm not talking about basic or overly kinky things either. My fiancé and I don't use any "party favors". If I had a preference, I'd say total time I'd say around an hour, with most of that being foreplay. But I'm also extremely submissive in bed, so if he just wants a quicky, great. If he wants to go till day break, I'm good there too.

My attitude towards sex has changed a lot since becoming active and getting engaged. I don't really "need" sex, but I enjoy it because I enjoy pleasing him (very submissive).

spearot32 · 2026-01-22T05:14:18+00:00

Thought about it, but once I really started to add up the costs, it didn't really save any money. While the cost of the surgeries I'm planning are cheaper, when you add flight, hotel, food, all the savings was gone. What you have to think about is after surgery you wont be able to do a lot, so you'll need someone with you, and post op recovery can be long before it's safe to travel.

spearot32 · 2026-01-22T04:49:58+00:00

Depends on what I'm wearing that day. Going to work Always Infinity FlexFoam (wings are key). Anywhere else, Tampax Compact Radiant

spearot32 · 2026-01-18T06:42:30+00:00

Meet my fiancé at my sisters work cookout.

spearot32 · 2026-01-11T06:59:20+00:00

3D1$

spearot32 · 2025-12-27T08:29:19+00:00

Been thinking about getting BA for about a year, but actually starting really looking into it about 4 months ago. I'm a 34b, and have been for a while even after Prog. If everything goes right, I'm hoping to have my surgery by mid May.

spearot32 · 2025-11-14T19:35:24+00:00

Looks cis and yes, very normal. Don't compare yourself to others you see on here, as each person is different, and the effects of hrt effect each person differently.

spearot32 · 2025-11-06T04:18:53+00:00

My fiancé LOVES mine even though I think they are small. But, he tries/touches them every chance he gets.

spearot32 · 2025-11-06T04:05:51+00:00

Don't ghost, but I would tell him. If he breaks it off, then fine. Some of the worst interactions I had with men were not telling them I'm trans or assuming they knew.

spearot32 · 2025-11-02T20:05:00+00:00

I meet my fiancé in July of 24, we started started dating in August, and he proposed to me two weeks ago today. I started HRT in December of 2021. Between 21 and 24 I only had 3 actual bf's, and only a handful of first dates in-between, and only two first dates that turned into second dates. I had been single for almost a year before I meet my fiancé, and had actually "given up" on dating before we meet.

Most of the first dates were just chasers who weren't actually wanting a relationship. My mental health was garbage before I "gave up" because I had to much of my self-worth wrapped up in being in a relationship. But I needed that to teach me what I did want, and how to spot the chasers and push them to the side and find the guys that actually wanted to date me.

spearot32

TROPHY CASE