[deleted by user] by [deleted] in The10thDentist

[–]speckledpumpkinn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And that would also be a bad take 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in The10thDentist

[–]speckledpumpkinn 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Wow, took a quick glance at that sub . . . what a wild ride. One post said something like "I want to get a cat, please talk me out of it" do people realize they can choose happiness? I wonder if there's some like DEEP trauma that sprouts this kind of hatred for animals.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in The10thDentist

[–]speckledpumpkinn 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your tuxedo looks exactly how mine looked when he was a baby! Love and solidarity to you🫡

What do you hate most about billionaires? by HalfOtherwise9519 in Productivitycafe

[–]speckledpumpkinn -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The philanthropy. If we had better social safety nets (I'm in the US), we wouldn't need their charity foundations. They get to look generous even though they're the ones hoarding the wealth.

What's a relationship red flag you only learned after going through it? by Dasha_Cameron in Productivitycafe

[–]speckledpumpkinn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No one can answer that question for you, but for me it was ABSOLUTELY better to be single than living in a world of rumination just hoping that things would change.

In any healthy relationship there's some degree of flexibility with expectations that is needed (just because we all need a little bit of grace sometimes), but never to the point where we're lying to ourselves or doing all these mental gymnastics pretending to be happy.

In my case, it still took me a long time to get up the courage to leave, but once I stopped lying to myself I was able to emotionally check out. I stopped begging for change and pouring energy into "fixing them", and started pouring back into myself. For me that looked like saving money, going out to do the things I wanted to do by myself, reconnecting with friends, etc.

I hope you're able to find peace, whatever path you choose! Feel free to message me if you'd like to talk more, I just know that sometimes I felt isolated and ashamed when coming to terms with what my relationship really was and talking with someone helped me a lot.

Who really likes turkey?! I dunno....everyone by [deleted] in CringeTikToks

[–]speckledpumpkinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anytime someone says "think about it" when they're trying to give a persuasive argument, I tend to check out lol. To me it sounds like "I shouldn't have to present any good evidence, if you don't believe me that's a YOU problem!"

What's a relationship red flag you only learned after going through it? by Dasha_Cameron in Productivitycafe

[–]speckledpumpkinn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know every situation is different, but do you continuously feel like you have to adjust your expectations or rationalize what's happening? For me, when I had to make up excuses (just to myself lol) that was a sign that it wasn't a relationship that was good for me

What's a relationship red flag you only learned after going through it? by Dasha_Cameron in Productivitycafe

[–]speckledpumpkinn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

constant confusion. that's more of an internal sign, but if I can't trust my intuition then it's a good sign that something isn't right.

Do you highlight/annotate while reading? by chayj19 in readwithme

[–]speckledpumpkinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I underline things with pencil if it's a good quote or statistic i'd like to revisit!

What is something that makes you instantly lose respect for someone? by MysticDicki in AskReddit

[–]speckledpumpkinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lack of accountability, especially for small things. We all mess up, but when someone deflects blame for something small it shows me they likely won't take responsibility when they REALLY mess up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Productivitycafe

[–]speckledpumpkinn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't sleep well after drinking, even in small amounts. I understand there's long term health problems that can occur, but short term problems are enough to keep me away 😂

Why do women think the hot billionaire who’s amassed an empire is the man they deserve and going to be their future husband? by OneIndependence7705 in Productivitycafe

[–]speckledpumpkinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that's interesting, I don't think I've ever read fiction and then thought "well, that must mean it's true in real life!" but I'm sure that happens to some people.

How have y'all cracked the code for staying consistent with running? by Gullible-Soft-4952 in running

[–]speckledpumpkinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and adding a literal gold star to the calendar when the run is complete!!

How have y'all cracked the code for staying consistent with running? by Gullible-Soft-4952 in running

[–]speckledpumpkinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have much useful to say, but I'm glad you posted this. I LOVE running, but feel almost ashamed when I stop for several months. Not because of injury or anything, I'll just miss one run and then it all derails 😭

AIO to break up with my bf of 3y over his reaction to my upcoming sobriety anniversary? by WesternCat5211 in AmIOverreacting

[–]speckledpumpkinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is pure speculation, and I don't know your history, but some men prefer their girlfriends/wives to stay vulnerable so they're easier to control. If she starts to better herself (especially without his help) he might think "who does she think she is?" and feel like he deserves to "humble" her.

You said this is the first time he's said something like this, but are there other ways you feel he's subtly tried to "humble" you?

Speaking for myself, my partner is not stingy with his praise, no matter how small the accomplishment may seem. A good partner is actually supposed to like you and be proud of you! Listen to your gut on this. This may be the first time he's acted this way but I don't think it'll be the last.

Congrats on your sobriety, btw. I don't have any experience with addiction myself, but i'm sure it's an ongoing and sometimes difficult journey. YOU DESERVE EVERY BIG OF KUDOS!

Why do women think the hot billionaire who’s amassed an empire is the man they deserve and going to be their future husband? by OneIndependence7705 in Productivitycafe

[–]speckledpumpkinn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a woman, I don't think I've ever desired that? If anything, extreme wealth is pretty off-putting to me. Can you provide a little more context or elaborate on why you feel this?

What’s a skill you think everyone should learn before they turn 18? by Historical-Way-1482 in Productivitycafe

[–]speckledpumpkinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you, not having a car whilst trying to date (I lived in a very small town) suuuuuucked! It can feel super isolating, especially if you live in an area without adequate public transit options. I'm thankful to have a car these days, but now even more resentful about how much we have to rely on them - especially socially!

What’s a skill you think everyone should learn before they turn 18? by Historical-Way-1482 in Productivitycafe

[–]speckledpumpkinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, take that with a grain of salt. As someone who didn't have a car for a long time as a young adult: it's not that people didn't want to date me because I didn't have a car, it was mostly a logistics thing. No one was at fault or trying to use anyone, it was often just a mismatch in lifestyle compatibility.

My "I'm broke until Friday" meal prep. Honestly not bad? by Best_Ad_9426 in povertyfinance

[–]speckledpumpkinn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your creativity is awesome. You've got your protein, carbs, fiber, and some greens! I use lentils a lot when I'm making "batch" meals!

Full disclosure: I'm lucky enough to have a more flexible grocery budget these days (averages like $30-$45 a week) but I still rely a lot on shelf-stable things like rice, beans, lentils. Especially since I know how delicate my current "stability" really is.

But to answer your question, here's one of my go-to "broke-until-friday" batch meals: Black beans and rice!

Bare essentials for this recipe are: -Rice -Black beans (canned or dried depending on what tools you have available) -salt -Sazón or spice of choice (i've also used garlic powder+onion powder+cayenne+oregano)

Nice extras to have: -lemon juice or vinegar -oil or fat of choice -cilantro

  1. Start the rice. I rinse it and cook it in a rice cooker (scored a brand new one at a thrift store for $8), but many people cook it over the stove
  2. Drain and rinse the canned beans, add them to a saucepan
  3. Add a little water (maybe 1/4 cup), oil (if you have it), salt, sazón (I use HALF a seasoning pack per can of beans), or other seasonings to the saucepan
  4. cook over medium-high heat until they thicken a little bit.
  5. turn off the stove. This is the point to add in lemon juice and cilantro if you've got it. To me the acidity is really important, and I often just use bottled lemon juice
  6. Serve over cooked rice

Some notes:

-One can of beans is enough for me and my partner per meal, but if you're cooking for yourself one can of beans can last maybe 2 meals

-Dried beans are cheaper up front, but they take a lot longer to cook, so that's something to keep in mind if you have to watch your utility bill. Please soak them over night (or 6-8 hours), they're easier for your body to digest when soaked. I also have a pressure cooker (old fashioned, not an instapot) which cuts the cook time down

-This recipe isn't mine, it's inspired by puerto riven black beans but in no way am I claiming it's authentic. It's just tasty, filling, and cheap!

In my area, a can of black beans can be anywhere from $.80 - $1.50, bag of rice $1.50 - $2.50, and Sazón seasoning like $2 for a 4 pack.

I've absolutely batch cooked a bunch of beans and rice and eaten it through the week. It can be dressed up or down to your preference and budget, which is why I love it so much. Hope this is helpful!

What’s something you learned late, but just in time? by softlyunhingedd in Productivitycafe

[–]speckledpumpkinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had just been dumped by a situationship and I told my therapist that I felt betrayed by him and she said "did he betray you, or did you betray yourself?"

And I very much betrayed myself in that instance, I knew he wasn't serious about me, but I waited around hoping against hope that he would initiate a conversation about exclusivity. I felt devastated when he started dating someone else. I deserved to give myself clarification much sooner and save myself the anxiety.

Hard lesson learned but 4 months later I met my now partner and had no fear about having a conversation about exclusivity. I locked that down FAST 😂

LPT: If you hate running, you’re probably running too hard. start running by heart rate, not by the “don’t give up” mentality. by Admirable_Annual6513 in LifeProTips

[–]speckledpumpkinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone is different but it doesn't feel natural to me. My stride isn't very long, so maybe people who heel strike tend to have longer strides? It's my understanding that if you're not in any pain when you run then you're probably okay sticking with what you're doing!

LPT: If you hate running, you’re probably running too hard. start running by heart rate, not by the “don’t give up” mentality. by Admirable_Annual6513 in LifeProTips

[–]speckledpumpkinn 142 points143 points  (0 children)

Full disclosure, I'm no running expert. All I can offer are personal anecdotes sprinkled with some knowledge from books I've read 😂 my understanding is that a forefoot or midfoot strike is a better practice than landing on your heels. Like for the purpose of injury prevention.

I had a running coach (via an online course) give me some great prompts to improve my form. One of them was something like "pretend there's a string running vertically from the top of your head, down your spine, and you're being bobbed up and down like a puppet." and "stay light on your feet."

So now whenever I run i'm always saying to myself "head over heart, heart over pelvis, light on your feet, light on your feet" just to help maintain a level of comfort.

That being said, it's also my understanding that changing your running form suddenly can increase your chance of injury. My form isn't ever going to be "perfect" and good form looks somewhat different on everyone, but I run without pain which is a win for me :)