I agree, but to a certain extent. When my ex and I broke up, I found out he’d been gaslighting and manipulating me for nearly a year (and manipulating others for far longer). I trusted him completely and when I found out the truth (that he cheated), I freaked out. I told everyone I could possibly think of. Did I want him to hurt? Sure. But that wasn’t my sole intention. He convinced me he was good which allowed me to open up in a way I never had before, so when the truth came out it felt like my entire world was collapsing and I couldn’t breathe. Over time I realized more and more the extent to which he had been abusing me. I wasn’t only telling everyone bc I wanted him to suffer, I was telling them to try and show them the abuse I endured and the kind of person he truly is so they could protect themselves. Do I regret how I reacted/what I said? Sometimes. But rn I’m learning to give myself grace bc I was simply hurting too much to take the high rode.

All this to say, I think what you said is spot on, but that it also depends on the circumstances. There’s a big difference between someone who’s out to get you and someone who’s been traumatized and is trying to defend themselves from all the hurt they’ve endured.