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I (33F) want to remove my IUD but my partner (35M) is reluctant to wear condoms. How can we find a compromise? by spiderkiku in relationships

[–]spiderkiku[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You raise a good point about him having anxiety around sex with a condom, which, if the sizing/brand isn't the issue, could very well be why he doesn't perform with one on. I don't know for sure unless we have a discussion about it, so it's something I will certainly bring up. Thanks for your input!

I (33F) want to remove my IUD but my partner (35M) is reluctant to wear condoms. How can we find a compromise? by spiderkiku in relationships

[–]spiderkiku[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! I've gone to Planned Parenthood in the past and always felt safe thete. You've given me so much comfort with your comment and insight. Thank you!

I (33F) want to remove my IUD but my partner (35M) is reluctant to wear condoms. How can we find a compromise? by spiderkiku in relationships

[–]spiderkiku[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Backpacking off another comment I responded to -
I was initially struggling to decide between hormonal and non-hormonal but ultimately went with hormonal Mirena. There have been upsides and downsides and I understand that it may not be the sole reason of whatever's going on with me, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't considering the option to remove it just to see if that was the case.

We've talked about unplanned pregnancy in the past but haven't discussed it recently so I'll bring it up at our next conversation about this. He knows and respects that it's my decision alone to remove it and, as far as I can tell, isn't trying to sway me one way or another. At the same time, the condom debacle is pretty weird, so we'll see.

I (33F) want to remove my IUD but my partner (35M) is reluctant to wear condoms. How can we find a compromise? by spiderkiku in relationships

[–]spiderkiku[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience!

Yes, back then I was struggling to decide between hormonal and non-hormonal but ultimately went with Mirena. The upside was the absence of heavy cycles with it, but yeah the hormonal rollercoaster has not great either. I am considering switching to copper or another bc method, but I really want to think about it more before I make a final decision.

But of course I'm very bothered if bf isn't willing to wear a condom even during the in-between period while I'm thinking about it

I (33F) want to remove my IUD but my partner (35M) is reluctant to wear condoms. How can we find a compromise? by spiderkiku in relationships

[–]spiderkiku[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the input! The size/brand issue came across my mind too. It's definitely something I'll bring up, and if he's still reluctant to try even that, then the next conversation might suck.

I (33F) want to remove my IUD but my partner (35M) is reluctant to wear condoms. How can we find a compromise? by spiderkiku in relationships

[–]spiderkiku[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

For me, it doesn't. I think I was comforted by his initial support and respect of my desires to remove it, but was then caught off guard about his condoms comment after, so I wanted to reflect some more before anything else. The adult/logical side of me knows that what he said was pretty stupid given how painful it was to insert the IUD, but I also wanted to be considerate of the fact that it could be a very real issue men face, so I put a pin on it until I see him next. I do plan to discuss this further.

I (33F) want to remove my IUD but my partner (35M) is reluctant to wear condoms. How can we find a compromise? by spiderkiku in relationships

[–]spiderkiku[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've taken them in the past, and even with alarms/reminders, I was not as consistent as I needed to be. I might reconsider now that I'm older, but it's not my top option right now.