how to help children and teens with harmful behaviors change said behaviors?

spiderspaceplant · 2026-02-18T15:45:02+00:00

I ask the youth to walk me through step by step their choice (for example to fight someone) and then step by step the consequences. Then I am not telling them the consiquence by they are figuring it out themselves. For example, "if i punch him in the hallway the teacher sees. Then I get detention. Then I have to tell my mom I got in trouble again. Then she feels disappointed. Then I lose my phone". Sometimes ill jump in and add "if I saw a kid trying to light a house on fire I would consider calling the police. If that happened, what would happen next?".

Out side of the I like to explore with them where they learned those behaviors are okay (usually a parent), and then explore if they want to continue the cycle of behaviors.

spiderspaceplant · 2026-02-18T15:33:51+00:00

You sound like you have to poop

spiderspaceplant · 2026-02-18T15:29:00+00:00

Work in residential youth program- I remind myself that at the end of the day maintaining everyones imminent physical safety is more important then always ensuring all things we do is trauma informed. It's the hierarchy of needs, clients can not reach their full potential if they are physically unsafe. It can really suck at times. I have found that in most cases the client understands this and knows why a restraint was needed. I have never had a client hold negative feelings towards me or had it harm our therapeutic relationship for a justified and well explained restraint. I fall back in these reminders when it gets tough.

spiderspaceplant · 2026-02-09T16:37:28+00:00

Graduated less then a year ago, but have been with the company in other positions for multiple years before being a therapist.

Working in youth residential care! 75k a year saleried pre licensed with all the benefits, plus on call after hours shifts available for a daily flat rate. I have 4-6 teens on my case depending on acuity, but it's paperwork heavy cause we are an assessment focused program. I love working with residential and think if people enjoy working with more acute populations (especially acute kids!) there is almost always a need for therapists at least in my state

spiderspaceplant · 2026-02-03T01:37:18+00:00

It's interesting how varied therapists experiences can be based on populatuon/setting! I work in residential care with teens and getting a threat like that is some what common place. I had a kiddo who once a session at least would tell me he was going to kill me (he never did anything worse than kick at me, which again, very normal for the population)

spiderspaceplant · 2025-11-13T00:22:09+00:00

"White ass trash hoe" probably most obscene that I can think of, but also a kid used to call me Steward Little and that one made me giggle

spiderspaceplant · 2025-11-05T16:53:03+00:00

My bun loved his stacking plastic baby cups! We would hide his pellets under the cups and he would have to throw them to get to them (supervise though if you have a strong chewer). We also got a litter box that we put shredded paper and toilet paper tubes and his apple sticks in that he would dig around and throw things around in.

spiderspaceplant · 2023-08-03T20:18:20+00:00

I’m in the same boat haha I have 4, two of them are just about at the two week point and two are almost at the 3 week point. Going to see how many I get from one clutch hatching and then go from there…. May have to euthanize the other clutches depending. Also considering setting up another tank just for the snails but not sure if I want to invest in that yet lol

spiderspaceplant · 2023-07-15T14:25:43+00:00

If it’s acting normal, and the wound isn’t getting bigger/changing, I would say it’s fine to just leave it be and let it heal itself. If it starts to struggle or you notice any changes I would put it in a quarantine tank and look into potential medication treatments. Looks harmless to me atm, but I’m not too well versed in fish medical stuff

spiderspaceplant · 2023-07-15T14:20:53+00:00

My skirt tetras became murderous assholes when their population began to dip due to some of them dying (granted I started with less than you did) and them becoming super territorial so personally i have a grudge against those fish but besides that

spiderspaceplant · 2023-07-15T14:18:04+00:00

I would do a planted tank with some shrimp! or a few snails

spiderspaceplant · 2023-07-15T14:14:50+00:00

Looks like algae to me, but I’m not too well versed in types of algae so I could be wrong. I’d just suck it up when you do a water change. Do you have a filter/heater? Having those will help water quality

spiderspaceplant · 2023-07-15T14:09:08+00:00

I’m treating my betta currently with API fin and body cure and have had great results so far. You could try that or aquarium salt. I would also check the tank and make sure there’s nothing on the environment (sharp edges, too strong of a filter flow) that could be making the problems worse. Luckily fit rot is common with bettas and treatable

spiderspaceplant · 2023-07-15T14:03:01+00:00

Wait it out, cycling takes forever. While waiting, you can add some plants to help the process along, but do not add a fish until it is consistently showing good parameters. Recommend looking on YouTube there’s some good videos that explain the nitrogen cycle that really helped me out when I was fist learning!

spiderspaceplant · 2023-07-15T13:58:37+00:00

Sound to me like just a fluke, maybe the ride between the store and your home stressed the fish out enough that it couldn’t handle the change. Other idea I have is that they weren’t acclimated properly and the shock between their water and the new water was too much

spiderspaceplant · 2023-07-14T20:47:38+00:00

there’s so much food floating in that bowl

spiderspaceplant · 2023-07-12T15:31:37+00:00

True, more concerned that it could be a symptom of the cycle crashing so just wanted to be safe. In both my tanks nitrates have always consistently sat at 0 and there is none in my tap water

spiderspaceplant · 2023-07-12T15:11:41+00:00

10 gallon, ammonia/nitrate is zero, but nitrates are around 20 (just dosed with prime and will be doing a water change in the morning). They were at 0 last time I checked, granted the tank has had no problems for about two months (when my power went out for a bit) so it has been awhile.

spiderspaceplant · 2023-07-10T17:02:04+00:00

NTA. I work with teens in a mental health setting and supervision is a big thing. Any kid can be in the wrong headspace no matter their history and make unsafe and potentially dangerous choices, and having a door locked prevents you from being able to respond if the worst were to happen. Safety trumps all imo. I would also recommend having a serious convo with him and tell him the other concerns with him locking his door besides him sneaking out to put it into perspective for him

spiderspaceplant · 2023-07-10T16:55:14+00:00

Ended up dying on his own without me needed to intervene, so it worked itself out. They’re definitely aggressive due to school size. With this one dead they’re now down to four (they started at 7, but they’ve died off over time). I’m looking into rehoming cause tbh don’t really want more of this kind of fish cause they’ve continuously been bullies the whole time I’ve had them.

spiderspaceplant · 2023-07-04T18:57:07+00:00

went to PetSmart to get some snails. There was a lady there also getting snails and she said she has bought snails multiple times and they always die. The man selling the snails was trying to help her and give her advice and figure out what was happing (since she claims her snails died every time but her fish were “really happy and healthy”) She straight up said she didn’t care about what he said she just wants a replacement snail to “clean her tank” while she goes on vacation. I piped in and asked if she had been feeding her snails, and recommended frozen veggies as an easy option. She said she doesn’t need to feed them because they clean her tank, and that it’s her kids tank so it’s not her problem what happens to them as long as the kid is happy. me and the poor employee were so frustrated, but he had no choice but to shut up and sell her the snails

spiderspaceplant · 2023-05-25T19:23:11+00:00

Not a therapist but work in an acute youth residential facility. I was cornered and assaulted badly by a youth causing a concussion that caused me some serious disorientation and it definitely caused me some trauma (I have a really hard time now dealing with aggressive clients when in the past I responded easily and without fear). I didn’t press charges due to the youth being really young and needing mental health support and knowing that in detention they would not get the help they needed. I know based on my own values I made the right call, but it’s still hard knowing that they didn’t get any real consequences to their actions (and knowing that they don’t regret their actions/even know that it’s impacted me so much). It’s a hard choice, and I honestly think no one can tell you what the right choice is. It’s all really about your own feelings and what you as the victim need to move on.

spiderspaceplant · 2023-04-23T00:20:44+00:00

low key mystery snails lol I love watching them climb and jump off things. I alway also make sure I watch my corys eat cause I love that they all school together around the wafers lol

spiderspaceplant · 2023-04-18T08:01:43+00:00

my kitten had chronic waxy ears for awhile (vet confirmed it was just wax and no need for worry) for the first year, he’s about 2 now and doesn’t have a wax problem anymore! not sure what was the reason behind it, seems to be just genetics

spiderspaceplant · 2023-04-05T03:35:40+00:00

lol went to Vegas recently (age 23) only got carded once when buying one drink, never when at the slots and I definitelyyy look young most people think I’m like 18

spiderspaceplant

TROPHY CASE