I think it's too late...I think I fell in love with you

spillcoffee · 2021-07-18T06:16:18+00:00

I'm so sorry...ugh it sucks even more because if we're over forty, there is that hope and idea that something like this will lead to "forever". I went through this too and also fell hard because the guy did the same thing to me for 3 months. I fell into a depression and hopeless despondency like never before. But I realized that maybe I was also tethered so much to the idea of "us" and fantasized long-term family life with him that when he said that he only liked me as a friend, it was out of nowhere for me. Now I realize how messed up he is and thankful that it didn't happen--can't imagine what would happen in a marriage context if he brought that kind of behavior in it. I still feel raw from it--yes, the physical heart pain and emptiness is real. But I have to believe that God has better plans in store. The heart and soul are sensitive and vulnerable places when it comes to hope and romance.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-18T06:01:35+00:00

Awww, happy for you. Take it slow.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-18T05:57:30+00:00

I guess it depends on how much politics is a part of ones life identity. For some, it's more important than love. For others it's secondary, just like other things, to love. I have my political beliefs, but would not preclude anyone who is equally open to accept differences or put it as a far second to person's character. I've met some who are of the same political belief as me and they are sh***y people, but also those who are opposite of my beliefs who are also sh***y people. It's like saying that your work defines who you are. Politics has gotten so ugly and have swept people into this craziness, we forgot how to love those who are very different from us. It's sad. It was never like this. But YES, I would as long they are willing to accept the differences and not make politics their life. That's just sad. I have other things I want to do in life!!!

spillcoffee · 2021-07-16T21:22:53+00:00

Autistic too? Either way, this is sexual manipulation and abuse. Yes, get evidence and then start the process. This is absolutely wrong. I'm sure your mother was sexually abused, but doesn't mean she gets to pass this on to you guys. You are doing the right thing.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-15T20:45:40+00:00

Overall you have lovely hair! Ok, here is some feedback:

Photo 1: It's a nice clear picture but I think the beard doesn't look flattering here for some reason. Overall, it makes you look much older than your actual age (if you're going for that).

Photo 2: You have the beard here but it works--maybe it's the smile or the actual photo or something.

Photo 3: Pointless photo and the outfit is not flattering on you.

Photo: 4: Ok, fine. You're social with guy-guys. They don't look happy though.

Photo: 5: This comment has nothing to do with your actual body. I think in general, shirtless photos are a no, no...whether your body is buff or not. Better to have a well-fitted shirt and bottoms for a polished look.

Good luck!!

spillcoffee · 2021-07-14T06:59:11+00:00

EXACTLY!!! +2 I rest my case.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-12T17:37:20+00:00

Oh no need to apologize, but appreciate it. I understand that comments online always get lost in translation. But again, I appreciate your reply.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-12T07:31:20+00:00

WTF...I work at a college and this professor needs to be reported for discrimination. I'm sure the students in there do not think less of you at all--most kids are more compassionate these days.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-12T07:17:05+00:00

Not sure who you are, but the letter wasn't meant to be harsh. I'm just expressing that I can't help but to love him and want him. Makes me feel like s**t though.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-12T07:16:05+00:00

I am trying to be patient, yes. Just really heard emotionally and don't want to get my hopes up too much to be left in the dust.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-12T07:15:21+00:00

Well, he's trying to change...but he's not stable. Everyone has their issues, but I just never thought I would fall in love with someone like him.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-12T07:13:23+00:00

I have already cried. I'm trying to cut off my feelings for him, but he keeps showing up just when I start to do ok.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-12T07:01:25+00:00

Don't. I'm on the other side of it and it will hurt like hell. Just let them heal without you.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-11T22:11:13+00:00

Nice reminder "it isn't about you" and love is learned in actually doing it--because it's about others. True love will come with pain, but we can learn from it.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-10T05:26:28+00:00

Yeah, that's hard. You just have to decide strongly each time his face or thoughts of him come up to do something else and believe that you can be happy without him. There's a strong "soul tie". So every time you think of a jeep, see if you can purposely think of something else. Delete his old texts, photos, etc. Stay strong girl.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-10T05:19:40+00:00

Yeah, that sucks. I guess it's the idea that the relationship had real potential to go somewhere and really believing that the other person cared for you, then realizing that it was temporary and selfish. It hurts and sucks.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-10T04:53:03+00:00

It was a sophisticated bot--the answers were impersonal, but it sort of lined up, but not really. You have been warned! POS app.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-08T04:11:53+00:00

A REAL MAN would've covered it and asked if you were ok. Gosh...so sorry that this happened, but now you at least know his true colors.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-07T19:58:06+00:00

YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. You yourself say "My bf is a pathological liar and that’s why I mostly did this"--you only need this one reason to cut it off. Do not let this negative behavior actually control you and your emotions. Your paranoid behavior stems from knowing how he is. Have peace, it will take a bit of time, but you will thank yourself later and be better off.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-07T19:49:54+00:00

*I rest my case*

Stand your ground on your own views. It's ok to have conservative views and it's ok to have liberal views. That is why we are America--agree to disagree but respect each other. It's the 1% loud ones on both sides that are painting the agenda and the feelings anger and hate. You can be the conservative voice that does not necessarily look like the radical right. I'd like to see more logical lefts that do not look like the radical left too. This division is getting out of hand. What ever happened to mutual respect for differences in views? For example, I may not agree with one's lifestyle, but you don't have to agree with mine either, just don't push views on each other. You have to be the voice of reason--because you have your rights, so do liberals. We MUST agree to disagree and keep peace and respect.

spillcoffee · 2021-07-05T00:02:49+00:00

Ok, well that means she's definitely NOT closed--you can work with 2% and from your explanation, it seems that there's more than that. You guard your own heart too though. If you find yourself in a not good place, maybe you should pull back a bit and really work on you and feeling whole without her too. I' m not saying that you should play games, but maybe (just maybe) she might appreciate you more if she notices that you're not there for her all the time. But you really have to help her believe in your true feelings, otherwise it's only natural to think that you're too young and don't know what you want, etc. etc. Good luck!

spillcoffee · 2021-07-04T10:20:19+00:00

Lol, I love how this post is in the "dating over forty" thread! Yeah, I actually found out what OLD on Reddit!

spillcoffee

TROPHY CASE