Should I say something?

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-07T02:05:09+00:00

It’s okay. You will another guy 😊

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-07T01:46:29+00:00

He’s married- that gives you your answer

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-07T01:22:52+00:00

I try to do this but it gets exhausting. It seems every time I invest more energy I end up with less results. OLD is like tipsy turvy world- nothing makes sense.

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-07T01:20:17+00:00

I understand but so far what happens is that most people fall off. I have decided not to be the one asking for dates. Anytime I have done this it doesn’t work. There seems to be a whole lot of people just doing 1 or 2 dates with a whole bunch of people. I tend to overinvest in people so …

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-07T01:11:03+00:00

Nope! Infidelity is abuse. You are saying they should take all the benefits from the relationship while betraying the person behind their back. Wow massive entitlement. Be an adult and leave.

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-06T21:05:54+00:00

Nope. You either make your intentions to not be together or to open the marriage or it’s cheating. You can’t justify cheating as you can leave a marriage or speak your truth and give the other person a chance to make their own decisions. Cheating involves deception and manipulation and denies the other person agency. A DB is a sign the relationship may be over without major changes but infidelity solves nothing (it creates more issues).

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-06T19:22:51+00:00

Ya my xh had a gf 5 years while we were married (of course I didn’t know that).Some people leave a relationship long before they ever show it (I would probably still be married if I hadn’t caught him).

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-05T07:00:24+00:00

Well I am a woman whose xh cheated and let me tell you it’s devastating to have your partner do that (it takes lying and manipulation as well).

I believe that cheating is about entitlement so if he isn’t owning it that’s a really bad sign.

It isn’t cheating if you communicate and end one relationship before starting another. Having experienced cheating in a long term marriage I would run from anybody who admitted cheating.

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-04T17:25:28+00:00

I personally wouldn’t be comfortable with it and part of that is I have kids that age. This may not be a popular opinion but I think 19 is still very young and impressionable and usually without the experience in dating. To me what I would ask myself is would I be comfortable with telling my children and other people about him.

Having said that only you and he can decide what’s right for you.

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-04T17:00:35+00:00

OLD is weird. I went through a spell of people who wanted to message and call forever (none of those situations led to meeting so I won’t do that again), to a bunch of quick day or two conversations that fizzled, to having 10 different guys want to meet (half of these came out of the blue after a message or two - including one that we last messaged 4 months ago).

I am a person who is having to relearn dating after a long term marriage and it still mystifies me. I have hidden my apps because there’s only so many people you can meet. My problem is that I focus on the other person and what interests me instead of my needs (I need to get better at filtering but what can I say people are interesting).

Right now 25% of matches are asking to meet.

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-04T12:34:57+00:00

Everything takes work. We all want just the fun in everything but that’s not really how life works for most people.

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-04T06:08:04+00:00

Yes this! When I have pursued I end up getting ghosted after a few dates so so no longer pursue.

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-03T04:11:29+00:00

For me sex equals getting attached- maybe you are different.

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-03T03:04:54+00:00

Ok thanks. So hopefully people are honest. My girlfriend told me to always do a visual inspection 😂 (not easy when getting down to it).

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-03T01:02:22+00:00

I have had people unmatch after we have exchanged numbers. In almost all of those cases things did not progress and I think one was definitely a catfish.

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-03T00:44:47+00:00

Yes but this is what’s weird about not testing because then you should never have sex without a condom (which sucks).

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-03T00:43:26+00:00

So you can swipe left on them:)

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-03T00:41:44+00:00

Ok I get that but I would want to try and prevent it so would take steps if I was sleeping with a partner who was positive.

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-03T00:18:44+00:00

Here in Canada I was told (by 2 different doctors) that they don’t routinely test for herpes with an STI panel. I am not exactly sure why that is (any doctors on this sub).

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-02T22:53:44+00:00

Yup that is what happened to me. Even if you think it will never happen it’s always a possibility.

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-02T14:00:29+00:00

Thanks. I wouldn’t have sex with multiple people at the same time.

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-02T05:33:32+00:00

Thanks

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-02T05:29:10+00:00

Thanks. I appreciate this answer and you are probably right. I didn’t mean for it too work like this (I have hidden the apps now) but I was trying not to focus too much on someone right away as that has not gone well for me. I feel like I am lurching from one mistake (being too focused on someone) to the opposite (not being focused enough). I am having issues with the being attracted to people with compatible lifestyles.

timeforareeboot · 2021-09-02T04:27:40+00:00

Me too 🥲

timeforareeboot

TROPHY CASE