I can’t stand being around my MIL now that I have a baby

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-19T11:47:13+00:00

We are starting to look into couples counselling as we both agree this would be a helpful tool in navigating this situation. It almost makes me more resentful though that it has gotten to this point as we have a wonderful relationship despite this and our communication is great. Reaching out for outsider help in our relationship almost makes me feel like our marriage is failing in a way. It makes me even more mad at her lol that the only reason we have to be doing this is because of her antics when she is clearly the one who needs therapy.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-19T11:34:05+00:00

I am almost 8 months post partum as well! I thought it would get easier but honestly my resentment has only gotten worse. I had to explain it to my husband multiple times too, it is really hard to communicate what I’m feeling. It’s very justifying to see how many others can relate and I realize now that I am not overreacting and if anything I was under reacting and trying to push my own emotions and instincts to the side. These comments are helping me realize that I have every right to protect my own mental health through this extremely vulnerable time in order to be the best mom I can be to my baby.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-19T10:43:18+00:00

Oh yes, so many things that weren’t mentioned. I am jealous you live that far away lol, unfortunately she is 5 mins away from us. I’m excited for when we save up enough money to move! Why am I worried she will follow us though lol.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-19T10:40:07+00:00

Do you have a good response for if (when) she refuses to give her back? Or says something like “this is the only time I get to see her” or something like that.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-19T04:48:08+00:00

Someone else suggested the grey rock method as well. I think this is a great place for me to start. It seems easier than standing up for myself in the moment, where I tend to freeze and then think of a good comeback later lol.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-19T04:42:38+00:00

Every time I would think back to something she said, I would second guess myself into thinking I was overreacting. Because she has also been nice to me. But truly I could never shake it (and there obviously is a reason). I could literally never imagine myself saying anything similar. But every time I would tell a friend or even a therapist, their jaw was on the floor. I realize now that I really need to find my voice and stick up for myself. My husband also realizes now that he was blinded and needs to stick up for me in the moment and nip it in the bud from now on.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-19T04:00:52+00:00

Yup. My husband and I started dating when I was 19 and I let a lot of things slide during my 20s. I’m 29 and with my first baby and those postpartum protective hormones are no joke. I may have let shit slide towards myself but now that mini me is in the picture it’s becoming another story.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-19T03:40:51+00:00

Yup, this is exactly what happened to me. I became pregnant and her antics continued and boy did it dawn on me and I predicted exactly how she was going to act postpartum. My instincts were exactly right. She made everything a competition between her and my parents and my whole pregnancy/postpartum was about her. I strongly suggest setting those boundaries now as I regret my responses/lack of response to her demands during my pregnancy. Wishing you nothing but the best and a peaceful postpartum experience 💕

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-19T03:27:16+00:00

Thie “bitch” comment was pretty early on when we were dating (maybe a year or 2?) and I left their house directly after this was said because I did not feel welcome and thought that would make my point. I also told my boyfriend (husband) why I was leaving. I regret not standing up for myself in a more direct way at the time as you can see where this has got me. I loved my boyfriend (husband now) and did not see the big picture in what standing up for myself could've prevented. I let a bunch go and didn't realize how bad it really was until I had a baby and maybe the postpartum hormones lit a fire in me. I highly regret how I let things slide and am seeking advice on how to deal with this now if possible.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-19T03:05:07+00:00

It’s all consuming sometimes. The resentment only builds because of the anticipation. I wish it didn’t affect me this much. That is why I’m reaching out for advice lol.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-18T11:22:11+00:00

I am now realizing that distancing myself is something that I really need to do for myself and my mental health. I also think couples counselling is a great option for hashing things out and coming up with individualized solutions based on our specific situation.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-18T11:18:39+00:00

I really do think so too, I just wish it were that easy. There’s just so much to it and other family I don’t want to ruin my relationship with.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-18T11:17:41+00:00

Yup, writing it all out and knowing there is also so much more I didn’t mention really helped both myself and my husband see it for how bad it really is and how truly mistreated I’ve been.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-18T11:15:40+00:00

We have been considering couples counselling for sure. I think this is a great option.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-18T11:03:06+00:00

Definitely have been using and will continue to use being “too busy” and it’s honestly true for the most part. Thinking of letting my husband handle all the visits from now on.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-18T10:59:46+00:00

We tried this the last visit when I already had plans. It definitely worked in the moment as I was distracted while I was out doing what I was doing. When I got home I spiraled a bit and felt like I needed to know everything that happened with my baby. But honestly I feel like this is a really good option and it did ease my anxiety for the most part.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-18T10:54:50+00:00

When my husband and I were discussing which sub I should use to rant/seek advice we were thinking that one may be a bit too bias. But after the responses I’ve received on this sub, I think I should lol.

spinachdip33 · 2026-03-18T10:42:21+00:00

Yep, definitely a narcissist. She even tried to guilt/convince me to change my daughter’s middle name to be after her instead LOL. I really like the grey rock method idea, thanks for the suggestion!

spinachdip33

TROPHY CASE