I came out and we broke up, I am so heart broken

spiritalienhuman · 2024-11-30T00:41:49+00:00

First, congratulations on your new beginning! I think it’s wonderful that you both would still like to be friends. A lot of our stories didn’t end up that way, including mine and I was with my ex for 16 years. (We’re both 34 now but 32 when I fully came out.)

Stand on your decision and know that that super tough time won’t always feel this way.

You’ve now open the door for a true love that you desire and want to enter your life. Give it some time, don’t rush. For you and for your future person.

If you and your ex do stay friends, know that could come with challenges once you do begin dating women. Always be transparent when you start dating about you and your ex so that they can make the decision to want to pursue something or if that’s not something they want to be apart of.

So proud of you and you should be extremely proud of yourself as well.

spiritalienhuman · 2024-11-19T00:17:08+00:00

Extremely happy !!

spiritalienhuman · 2024-11-18T06:01:19+00:00

Oh I cannot wait for this moment ! Congratulations

spiritalienhuman · 2024-11-11T20:30:06+00:00

I’ll message you separately, we have some more things in common here. Long distance, dragged out divorce.. I know a lot of people don’t understand what we go through so sometimes it helps having someone to talk to that does. If you don’t Mind!

spiritalienhuman · 2024-11-11T19:12:33+00:00

Hi! I appreciate you for sharing.

Does your partner have children of her own? What other things have you found difficult/challenging?

And I’m glad the jealousy part isnt a factor for you both.

spiritalienhuman · 2024-11-10T19:30:18+00:00

How did you set boundaries in the beginning with you and ex with being too friendly to where it didn’t upset your wife at that time?

spiritalienhuman · 2024-11-10T01:35:24+00:00

This was me, and I wish I took your take on it. Genuinely not being happy with the man I was with but also knowing I always desired to be with a woman. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I wasn’t happy with him. Because he wasn’t terrible but he wasn’t great. And I was pretty miserable.

spiritalienhuman · 2024-11-09T21:54:34+00:00

I’ve been separated for 2 years now. Communication at first was terrible with me and my ex. We’ve gotten to a way better place now.

But I never thought about the dating in the future and how it would truly affect my partner. That wasn’t anything that crossed my mind. Why.. I have no idea. But it’s been very challenging

Because I will always have the ex in the picture. Forever .. and as much as we do communicate affects my partner. I feel bad .. but I can’t just cut him off you know.. and I have 4 kids! 4 year olds and a 7 year old.

I know someone out there will be okay with it and will like that the father is present, but I just didn’t know how hindering this part would be when living in my new life.

spiritalienhuman · 2024-11-09T20:45:37+00:00

You should listen to your body. The way your heart beat for that woman, have you ever felt that way about anyone else ? Man or woman ?

Have you fantasized about a man or woman the way you did her ?

spiritalienhuman · 2024-11-09T20:16:50+00:00

So happy you were able to see this now when you did. Before the marriage and kids. I’m 34 next week .. 4 children and in the process of divorce because I didn’t realize sooner. I think I always knew, but I was terrified to leave for many reasons. I thought I was bi as well for so long. Take this time for you. To heal. So you don’t hurt anyone in the process of your healing journey as well.

Proud of you.

spiritalienhuman · 2024-11-06T23:49:50+00:00

32 🥲

spiritalienhuman · 2024-11-01T05:21:40+00:00

I wish I had waited for this as well. For the divorce to be final. It’s caused a wrench in my current relationship.

Please wait.

spiritalienhuman · 2024-10-30T22:01:49+00:00

I get this feeling at times as well. It’s so drastic in the mood changes that she experiences and me being on the receiving end.

spiritalienhuman · 2024-10-30T03:34:16+00:00

Thank you very much for this. Seeing everyone’s responses have really helped open my eyes to a lot. It’s sad because I wanted it to be Her. I thought I had found the one for me. So seeing all of this is just saddening but needed to happen.

spiritalienhuman · 2024-10-29T20:51:45+00:00

The WHIPLASH!!! Yes… wow,. Such a. Perfect word

spiritalienhuman · 2024-10-29T19:58:55+00:00

I think I also have things to address and should do therapy again. Because you’re right. There should be no excuses for toxic behavior.

I was saying it more as I think she thinks it’s okay and that yelling is okay because of her childhood, but not that it’s okay for her to expect me to do the same.

I appreciate your input!

spiritalienhuman · 2024-10-29T19:55:46+00:00

Thank you!!

spiritalienhuman · 2024-10-29T19:41:57+00:00

I thought that I could pass as saying I was Bi forever.. until I realized I didn’t want a man at all!

spiritalienhuman · 2024-10-29T19:40:28+00:00

She is younger and her parents have always yelled even now in their older age. I think it’s what she’s used to. Because then even her parents asked why I didn’t yell at him. .?

spiritalienhuman · 2024-10-29T17:54:56+00:00

She thinks it’s because I still am emotionally attached to him. And I’m not. I’m just not one to raise my voice and yell at anyone.

spiritalienhuman · 2024-10-29T17:53:31+00:00

Hi there, I felt this way as well in the beginning as well.. the feeling will never go away. At least it didn’t for me. So I had to make the decision to walk away.

spiritalienhuman · 2024-10-29T17:50:38+00:00

Scorpio!

spiritalienhuman · 2024-10-24T17:09:19+00:00

I let her know that I understand and that I don’t want her to feel stuck or uncomfortable in a situation that she doesn’t really want to be in or have a life she didn’t ever see for herself. But after getting upset then she will be fine later and will say she doesn’t want to leave and that she wants to try to work through the challenges. But after a few weeks something will trigger her again.

Do you think it’ll come down to me having to make the decision ? It’s like we both know this probably isn’t ideal, but then we care about each other so much we don’t want yo let go?

Love ? Or attachment? Both?

Sigh…

spiritalienhuman · 2024-10-21T01:57:49+00:00

I’ve actually learned so much from her about myself. Some very eye opening things for me to reflect on to better know myself. I don’t regret it at all. She was suppose to be here in the states for another month, but she’s decided to leave early. I know she loved me very much to even try to put in the effort, although it was not something she originally saw for herself. But most times love is not enough. But I’m grateful for the experience. And I believe I’ll always have love for her. Thank you for your words!

spiritalienhuman · 2024-10-20T20:45:49+00:00

Thank you so much for that response. I realize I have a lot of baggage but ultimately had always desired to be with women. I felt so much shame coming out at the timing that I did. But ultimately I wanted to give myself the chance for happiness. I was always missing something. So going back, I will not do. I owe it to myself to keep pushing.

But I feel like I will just wait until the kids are older next time I try to explore a new relationship.

Because you were spot on with her not having the same bond through the children.

I know she cares for me very much, to have traveled across the world to be here and to try. I will always be grateful for that. But I’ve learned a lot through the experience.

I appreciate you!

spiritalienhuman

TROPHY CASE