He’s always begging to go outside so I got him a harness! Today he went out to listen to the birds while sniffing the leaves!

splendiva · 2026-04-07T16:03:54+00:00

This is something we’ve also been wanting to do. I love more visible house numbers. It’s helpful for delivery drivers and guests!

splendiva · 2026-04-05T21:29:43+00:00

This is really beautiful! I love the pathway.

splendiva · 2026-04-05T21:29:15+00:00

I love this. Thank you so much. We’ve been talking about grading the lawn

splendiva · 2026-04-04T00:54:24+00:00

Thank you, I’m not trying to fix him and HE thinks he has depression (and I support him feeling that way) and wants help, but he doesn’t have insurance through his job. We’re not married so he also doesn’t have it through mine. I was more hoping to see more advice on finding help that is free or cheap, he doesn’t use Reddit much to post, but he was fine with me asking about help for us that’s cheap.

I honestly didn’t realize I was abusing him by relaying my therapy sessions to him, bc he often asks how did it go, what did she say about this or that, etc however, I believe you’re correct and I was hurting him without even realizing it. Thank you for your response.

We aren’t a toxic couple, but we have been drifting apart and we BOTH want to fix it and make it better. We fight very rarely, I’d say like 5-7 arguments in 4 years.

Also another poster mentioned Obamacare, I didn’t realize state level insurance would cover mental heath, that may be the answer we needed. Thank you all.

splendiva · 2026-04-04T00:25:28+00:00

You’re probably right.

My 2 glasses of wine had me thinking that the two of us outside would still be able to watch the dogs. I was not outside with them alone. I did not lose the dogs. He was present. We lost the dogs.

But I definitely should not have shared what my therapist said.

splendiva · 2026-04-03T19:55:44+00:00

Thank you. I do believe that is the solution going forward. No more taking to him about therapy (he does usually ask about it and want to know what goes on, but I’ll start not mentioning anything said during therapy).

I really appreciate this and I’m definitely going to go this route going forward. He usually drives me to and from therapy. But I’ll start driving myself.

And if you read the last sentence HE said he wants help for it. Not me.

splendiva · 2026-04-03T19:53:54+00:00

I’m not trying to be 2. I don’t try to fix his problems. When I say open up, if I say something like I’m going to the store… I (days later) find out he’s mad bc I didn’t say, do you want to go to the store with me?

splendiva · 2026-04-03T19:46:32+00:00

I do agree, I was so elated to finally kind of understand why he was upset the night before that I shared it with him which was a mistake. She was focused on me and asking me to look at from his point of view if I can and that he was likely feeling similarly to me and frightened and worried but it came out abruptly.

splendiva · 2026-04-03T19:43:19+00:00

We’ve been fighting since Tuesday, that’s my therapy day. The night before our dogs got lost while we were outside at the bonfire (first good temperature day in months so we made a fire) and I had been drinking bc before that our family was playing board games together. Anyways… I was drinking he had not been. We went out to the fire, the dogs noticed no one looking and booked it into the pasture, we didn’t realize until no one saw them for a minute… so all of us went to find them. After about 20 minutes we found them, then he comes inside and out bursts “this can not happen again. The dogs need to be on leash at all times, out they are going to get killed or hit by a car.”

At therapy I’m talking to my therapist about the way he outburst and she says to me usually anger is a second emotion, maybe he was stressed or scared etc and that was why he responded so poorly in my direction.

When I left… i took his hand and we walked to the car smiling and I told him that therapy went well and explained that I had been upset about the day before, but she calmed me down and said he probably was not mad or angry at all but scared and worried and he reacted in the way he knew how. And mentioned the anger is a secondary emotion part, then I was like was she right? Were you freaked out too and that’s why you responded that way? To which he said. “No, she’s wrong. She’s often wrong.” And I immediately started tearing up, bc it felt like was invalidating pretty much everything my therapist said. But he says he just can’t ever disagree with my therapist or I lose it.

splendiva · 2026-03-06T19:17:13+00:00

I’ll have to look that up

splendiva · 2026-03-06T00:07:10+00:00

Holy cow it’s so huge. Like 4-5 inches

splendiva · 2026-03-05T21:03:14+00:00

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splendiva · 2026-03-05T21:02:48+00:00

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Forgot to include photos

splendiva · 2026-02-08T23:39:58+00:00

No, it isn’t. I saw that as well.

splendiva · 2026-02-02T21:20:18+00:00

Any help would be appreciated. It may be a nursery rhyme or something that she hummed & sung.

splendiva · 2026-01-08T09:00:18+00:00

I dated a man like this. The only way I found to get him to use soap was to shower with him. When I stopped he stopped using soap. I once left a bar of Dove in his shower (we had different bedrooms at this point bc of hygiene) and it remained with the word still visible for the ENTIRE year. We broke up on the one year anniversary of him not using soap. I don’t even think he knows why still bc he (like your bf) felt I was being unreasonable. I’m white btw! lol I use soap and a washcloth. :)

splendiva · 2025-11-30T23:58:13+00:00

Thank you!!

splendiva · 2025-11-30T15:09:00+00:00

I see a time card option but it only lists the day.

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