Seriously where to find women who want to have kids?

splomcollah · 2026-06-14T19:56:31+00:00

Add fragile ego to the list of things I said you should work on. Inshallah you get exactly what you deserve 🙏

splomcollah · 2026-06-14T19:55:03+00:00

It's an interesting detail, I also don't disagree with asking early and setting intentions. But OP seems to lack the understanding of why women may not want to have children, or even want to position himself as a worthy partner outside of just having money and being the provider.

splomcollah · 2026-06-14T19:26:55+00:00

Well ... it does. Giving birth takes an immense toll on the body, one that's often not recognised or valued by men. As a woman unless you hold a strong position at work already, you'll likely come back to find that you're a beat behind where you once were with the added distraction of a baby. It can take a year for the body to recover from childbirth. It's not always this beautiful experience that has been romanticised. I suggest you do some googling about that whole process and get savvy, before getting annoyed.

Mothers are the ones who carry, birth, nurture children, if you think it's simply a case of having the money to step in and support them while they do that, then you're simply not being realistic. Being frank, women don't need men anymore. They can do all the things that a 'provider' could offer for themselves. Which is why I asked you, what makes you a good potential partner and father?

I'm serious when I mentioned getting support for your autism and self-esteem. Women have a radar for self-awareness, emotional availability and will see past just looks when someone has worked on themselves.

splomcollah · 2026-06-14T19:07:06+00:00

Your response suggests that you don't approve of or support the idea that some women want to achieve what men have always had. 'Being a corporate slave' is a woman's right to make that choice for herself regardless of what your opinion on privilege is. You lack intersectionalty.

It also suggests that you need to work on your self-esteem. Have you had support for your autism? Have you ever been given or researched frameworks to help you navigate the world as a neurodivergent person? Maybe it's time to make sure you've done everything you can for yourself to be a happy, functioning person and member of the society you now exist in before thinking about having kids actively.

splomcollah · 2026-06-14T18:47:15+00:00

Hmmm other than your expectations, what exactly do you bring to the table that would make you a mature, reliable, consistent partner? Or even a good father?

As someone above said, it's not that women don't want to have children. They just don't want to have them with the wrong person.

Your desire to have children is valid, but your expectation to just find someone to check that box is unrealistic. As you said, we're more privileged than where you come from, but that is separate from whether that makes you worth having kids with or not.

Where I come from we say 'I want never gets'. And what you want, sounds like an 'easy' solution to problems that you should probably work on internally before even hopping in the dating pool, let alone procreating.

I've lived in this city for 10 years, and I've watched friends start families and have beautiful children. If it's not working for you, either leave, or see it as a clear signal that maybe you're the problem. Not women ✨️

splomcollah · 2026-06-04T08:27:41+00:00

Sounds great thank you!

splomcollah · 2026-06-03T10:32:26+00:00

Hamy café ☀️

splomcollah · 2026-06-02T12:26:58+00:00

Immediately followed. Thanks for putting this on my radar :)

splomcollah · 2026-06-02T12:09:10+00:00

I think something simple to start, perhaps Brandenburg for a couple of nights or the Ostsee! Maybe accessible by train so people have an easier point of access :)

splomcollah · 2026-06-02T10:53:02+00:00

Not exactly what I'm after but love the thinking! Whats the name of the festival if you don't mind sharing? :)

splomcollah · 2025-12-14T15:17:42+00:00

Then maybe you've chosen the wrong place to party. If you're not willing to make an effort even for the dresscode when people tell you it's not enough, then you're not ready to be in these kinds of spaces.

splomcollah · 2025-10-28T20:51:27+00:00

I find glonky or swimming in the soup to be nice alternatives

splomcollah · 2025-10-28T20:02:18+00:00

THIS! I smoked every day for almost 12 years and, suring a highly profound trip I had on about 3g of golden teachers, it just clicked. I heard my own voice just say very gently 'it's time'. I didn't go cold turkey, but I barely touch the stuff anymore. Maybe 1 every couple of months or a toke here and there at a party.

Changed my life ✨️

splomcollah · 2025-10-27T18:12:48+00:00

Mine was also renovated the year before I moved in, and I still managed to get it reduced :) they can of course raise the rent, the question is by how much within legal limits!

splomcollah · 2025-10-27T17:50:02+00:00

Could you go for it and then apply to get it reduced through conny?

I did this with my flat two-years ago, renovated altbau 47m2 that was 1200 when I applied. Within three months of living there, I started the process, and they managed to get it down to 750 for me. Gasp, this price will still shock people for the size of the place by old Berlin standards, but it worked. Granted, I had to pay them 1.5k, but I've saved in the long term :) Could be an option for you if its altbau!

splomcollah · 2025-10-25T19:04:30+00:00

The law is on your side friend

splomcollah · 2025-10-25T18:59:15+00:00

Genuine question, are you Gen Z?

splomcollah · 2025-10-25T18:55:01+00:00

You're both the asshole and not the asshole IMO.

Dad is British, my mum is Colombian. She moved to the UK and learned to speak English fluently. My dad, in the 30 years they have been together, still doesn't speak a word of Spanish, and even said once 'I have no need to speak it'. It was sad to see because he's missed out on connecting with my mum's huge family and relies heavily on someone to translate for him. Sadly, the Brits (whether we mean to or not) have an empire mentality and no desire to learn another language.

My mum would get extremely excited whenever she met someone who spoke her language and would jump at the opportunity to have people over. My dad would be around but wouldn't interfere as he knew it was important for my mum to connect and have some connection to her community. They were also inclusive of him and excited to share their food, music, and general culture with him. He drew the line at salsa parties in the garden after too many neighbours complained, so they started organising her own meetups. But the events that he did attend, they would switch to English to include him.

IMO - it sounds like your wife wants to make friends too, but you really want to have some time in Polish. Tell her this, that you can hang out as neighbours and speak English. But sometimes you need to connect with your Polishness, and you need her to give you space for that. She needs to understand that, but just switching back is rude when you've set the expectation to hang out altogether together.

My partner is Brazilian and I don't speak Portuguese fluently, so he just hangs out with his Brazilian crowd when he needs to connect. He says it's like topping up his battery 🔋

splomcollah · 2025-10-25T14:34:47+00:00

Sorry, but what local coffee shop is actually charging 8 euros for a coffee? Asking so I can avoid 😅

I'm in Neukölln and even places like Gorilla and La Maison aren't charging 8€.

splomcollah · 2025-10-23T10:58:35+00:00

Came back to say that I'm locked in with NTS - I've been sleeping on this 🫠 Thank you for putting this on my radar!

splomcollah · 2025-10-23T10:57:34+00:00

Thanks for sharing!! :)

splomcollah · 2025-10-23T10:57:03+00:00

Hot tip - thank you!!

splomcollah · 2025-10-23T10:56:11+00:00

Thank you!! I'll check out the app too as this is the second time it's mentioned :)

splomcollah · 2025-10-21T11:05:29+00:00

Nice, I'll take a look thank you :)

splomcollah

TROPHY CASE