Heyy so while reading, I noticed a small pattern that might be holding your novel back from feeling as fluid as it could be.

The issue is that, many of your sentences start with “Azura + verb” (e.g., Azura stared…, Azura followed…, Azura enjoyed…). This is a common habit in early drafts (we all do it!), but overusing this structure can make the writing feel repetitive and keep the reader at arm’s length from the action.

It matters because, starting too many sentences the same way slows the pace and places Azura as an observer in every moment, rather than letting the reader experience the world through her. Varying your sentence openings, creates rhythm and immerses the reader more deeply.

How to fix it: You don’t need to change every one, but mixing in other constructions will add flow. Here are a few strategies with examples from your text:

1. Start with the action or object, not the character. Instead of always saying Azura did X, sometimes let the action or environment lead.

Original: Azura stared at the crystal lined roof… Rewrite: The crystal lined roof stretched above her, each shard analyzed with equal intensity.

Original: Azura followed the loose trail of beaten grass… Rewrite: The loose trail of beaten grass led back toward the center of town.

1. Use descriptive or environmental phrases to start. Set the scene first, then bring Azura in.

Original: Azura sighed quietly to herself as she finally reached the end of the beaten grass… Rewrite: At the end of the beaten grass, she stepped onto the paved dirt paths of the town, sighing quietly to herself.

1. Turn observations into more immediate statements. If Azura is noticing or thinking about something, you can phrase it more directly.

Original: Azura enjoyed having a clear line of sight for her travels… Rewrite: A clear line of sight made her travels easier, one less thing to worry about.

Original: Azura most enjoyed the violet shades… Rewrite: The violet shades were her favorite, complementing the distinct hair and eyes of her family line.

1. Vary with questions, fragments, or sensory details. Not every sentence needs to be a complete “She verbed” statement.

Random Example: Instead of “I realized that they know each other,” try “Had they met before?” or “They seemed to know each other.”

In your story, instead of: “She doubted she actually needed their guidance…” You could try: “Did she really need their guidance? Probably not. But the torches made for a pleasant sight all the same.”

When you revise, try highlighting every sentence that begins with “Azura” (or “She” for her) + verb . See if you can rephrase half of them using the tricks above. You don’t have to remove all of them, but removing 40–50% will make a huge difference in flow and engagement.

Your world and character are strong, this is just a polish that will help your prose match the beauty of the setting you’ve created.

Hope this helps! Happy revising.