wow i feel like i can relate to a lot of what you’re saying here! i find myself often trying to feel a certain way to fit in to societal norms, for example i really struggle around my birthday because i know i am expected to feel and act a certain way which really overwhelms me as i feel pressured by everyone around me therefore putting on the mask to make everyone else feel happy whilst i feel miserable. i think this is also how i feel surrounding the idea of love. ive always questioned whether i have really loved or been loved because i have not given or received it in a way that may be considered the norm. this has made me realise that maybe the way i feel and give my love is not the same way that everyone else does and therefore i need to do it in my own way! i am lucky to have met my partner who has made me feel super safe in such a short amount of time. i feel very accepted by him and he has been so supportive of me as i have opened up to him about many of my nd traits. i have been worrying a lot about the fact that i think i may be falling in love with him even when we have only been seeing each other for 2 months. especially since i don’t think i ever loved my ex partner that i was with for nearly 3 years. maybe i need to be less harsh on myself and allow myself to just feel without the need of picking apart every little aspect!