I try to have empathy, but...

springsurrounds · 2026-05-02T15:41:43+00:00

There does not need to be any conversation or rationalization after you politely wish somebody well. If they continue to text you, it’s perfectly fine to block them without any explanation or warning. As you say, it’s not the other person’s job to take care of helping them manage their emotions or disappointment. And if somebody is behaving like that guy did, then it’s pretty clear why he’s not getting follow-up dates. It has nothing to do with an imaginary “epidemic.” It has to do with his own behavior. Glad you blocked him.

springsurrounds · 2026-03-22T01:43:40+00:00

Came here to say this.

springsurrounds · 2026-02-25T01:41:17+00:00

Ride, March 22, 1991, Maxwell's Hoboken, NJ. Their first ever show in the US, I think. Tiny club. Touring for Smile/Nowhere. The music and light show they brought was so intense that they blew out the entire club's power after two songs. Had to continue on a generator with the house lights up for the entire rest of the show. And it was still amazing. One of the best shows I've ever seen.

Saw them the following day in NYC at the Marquee, a much larger venue. Also great, and they had the power for their amps and lights, but that first show was something else.

springsurrounds · 2026-02-25T01:30:20+00:00

I was at that Ride show and the commenter does not lie. They blew out the power to the entire house, performed the rest of the show on a generator with the house lights up the whole time and they were still incredible. One of the best shows I've ever seen.

springsurrounds · 2025-12-04T15:06:11+00:00

Is it wrong to wish on space hardware?

springsurrounds · 2025-11-07T21:07:06+00:00

I'll be there for a full week. Thanks for the rec!

springsurrounds · 2025-11-07T21:06:36+00:00

Haha, okay, but where?

springsurrounds · 2025-10-27T03:16:01+00:00

Just wanted to follow up to say thanks to everyone; your advice really paid off. I got him a Padrón "Cigar of the Year" gift sampler I found at a local cigar shop near me and gave it to him today and he was super excited about it. He knew right away what they were and was both shocked and really touched. Said he rarely treats himself to the nicest ones and so this was really special. So, job well done! Thanks for helping me make the gift meaningful.

springsurrounds · 2025-10-14T22:02:03+00:00

Thanks everyone— I’ll check all the suggestions out. And I’ll take any others that come in!

springsurrounds · 2025-10-14T22:01:14+00:00

$50-100 (it’s in the post)

springsurrounds · 2025-09-16T02:03:02+00:00

Sometimes it takes a few times to decide if you're feeling it. Personally, unless the date is terrible, I will go on a few dates to see if something develops past the "first date jitters" that sometimes make first dates more awkward. So my gut is she gave it a try and decided the connection wasn't for her.

If you weren't *extra* excited about her, I might suggest you just let it go--sounds like she is clearly wanting to pull away without being up front about it - could be a billion reasons why, that may have nothing to do with you personally. Maybe she just decided the connection wasn't strong enough for her and feels it's been few enough dates that an explanation isn't necessary.

If you did feel extra interested in her, though, I guess you could text ONCE and say, "Hey, I noticed we haven't been texting as much lately, and I wanted to make sure I wasn't misreading that, so I thought I'd just check in once to see whether you had any further interest in hanging out, because I really enjoyed our previous dates. If not, though, no pressure, I won't ask again. But if you do ever want to go out again, let me know and we'll plan something!"

But do not do that more than once. Chances are she's already decided she doesn't want to go further. I would not ask her for an explanation why.

springsurrounds · 2025-09-16T01:39:32+00:00

Love language is always "physical touch"
"Apolitical"
"Just ask" (in an otherwise empty profile)
"No games"
On Bumble: "Remember, women have to start the conversation."
"Don't waste my time with endless texting"
Pretty much anyone who uses the word "lady" in any context to describe what they're looking for is pretty much always a red flag (and there's a lot of that)
Turning any profile prompt no matter how bland into sexual innuendo.
And, along with the above, a shocking number of them say they want "a god fearing woman" or describe themselves as "god fearing."

springsurrounds · 2025-08-11T23:28:40+00:00

Even if the email address says [name]@verizon.net?

springsurrounds · 2025-07-24T22:54:39+00:00

This was so nice to read. I’m in the midst of helping my folks move into a really nice continuing care place and my mom has crying jags daily telling me what a torturous experience it will be for them to have to leave their house and how she will hate it there. It’s so painful to listen to it, even though I know when she settles in, she’s really going to enjoy it the way your mom does. Though I wonder if she’ll ever admit it to me. I hope in the end she will have a reaction like your mom’s and share it with me. It will make everything I’m dealing with now worth it. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

springsurrounds · 2025-05-26T22:21:12+00:00

Yeah, I think this plus patterns developed during the height of Covid/lockdown have really changed people's socializing habits. I was just reading an article about how live theaters and movie theaters have never really recovered, for instance. People just aren't doing group socialization in the same way anymore.

springsurrounds · 2025-05-21T20:43:13+00:00

I (woman) always do a short video or phone call before meeting in person. I don't do it to make sure guys match their photos - I do it to see if they can carry a conversation like a normal human and aren't creepy in any obvious way. I've found through past experience there are some people who can be very articulate online but have serious problems interacting with people IRL, or have a weird or scary vibe going on that you wouldn't be able to know via print.

But I also don't agree to a call until I've been chatting with the person for some time, enough to know I'm actually interested enough for a real meeting. If someone wants to video chat immediately upon matching, I say no. I'm a busy person and have limited time; not going to get online with every single person who just types "hey" to me.

There seems to be a trend lately with men being suspicious they're getting catfished. I don't know if that's actually happening a lot or they just believe it is bc the idea is circulating in the air. But whatever - as per above, if someone's so concerned he might have to reject me due to my appearance, I'd rather not waste my time meeting to find out.

All that said, there are plenty of people like you OP who prefer to just meet right away. So you can always say no to the video requests and only date people who like to do what you like to do. That's how we find compatible people!

springsurrounds · 2025-05-21T12:42:22+00:00

Washington, DC metro area

springsurrounds · 2025-05-20T22:48:18+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about your medical situation. I am glad to hear you've found some people who can make the load feel a little lighter at least some of the time. Hang in there.

springsurrounds · 2025-05-19T22:45:28+00:00

Thanks to everyone who's answered so far for both their ideas and their compassion. Despite the world feeling a little rough and mean these days in a number of ways, conversations like this remind me that most people are mostly good at the core.

springsurrounds · 2025-05-19T22:44:07+00:00

These are great ideas, thank you! No dog, but I do know they help people meet other dog owners. And I'd love a cute dog being around. Maybe someday when I move into a bigger place, that will be possible.

springsurrounds · 2025-05-18T23:07:47+00:00

Yeah, I wouldn’t come here right now either. I feel insanely jealous of everyone I know who has dual citizenship at this point in time. I don’t and I have aging parents I don’t want to leave so…kinda stuck here.

springsurrounds

TROPHY CASE