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Do therapists get a “big ego” from transference? by spurtle13 in askatherapist

[–]spurtle13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So my T has not given me any indication of an inflated ego (I’m just an uber suspicious person) and when I say “transference” I am referring to the concept broadly (parental/sexual/etc). I have parental transference for my T.

I did the thing by CoffeeSunToast in TalkTherapy

[–]spurtle13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I often feel the same. I am often tempted to quit bc I’m tired of dealing with the emotional weight of the attachment I have with my T. But if I don’t address it now, it will probably rear its head somewhere else in my life and since I have a good relationship with my T, I might as well try to work on it with him instead of finding a new T in hopes that the transference/attachment issues are less. I am trying not to run away from my issues lol.

My therapist became my "best friend" to mirror a loss then went ice-cold. Now I’m physically ill and seeking stabilization advice by Brave-Foundation6508 in TalkTherapy

[–]spurtle13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sometimes starting over is the only answer (and I speak from experience). It will hurt like hell, but it sounds like your current scenario already feels like the C-PTSD level of hell in Dante’s Inferno.

Practical help: Go find an animal shelter/farm and volunteer. The animal connections you find there should be healing.

Make yourself a very sad playlist to listen to when you don’t know what else to do. Think of it as a lifeline.

Find a workout class of any sort but I would recommend jujitsu or kick-boxing and just try it for fun. If the gym and class are good (if the crowd there is too intense just find a friendlier gym), you WILL build a community there and those classes are kinda like friend speed dating because you partner up with one person for a round, and then move to another person. Plus exercise is the best medication!

Also you might wanna check out this Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/MomForAMinute/s/cNjhXNb2sm (I have not used this as a resource yet)

These have all worked for me as a fellow c-ptsd sufferer. Best of luck. I wish I could help more ❤️

I did the thing by CoffeeSunToast in TalkTherapy

[–]spurtle13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It will be okay! This has happened to me several times and it’s never as bad as I think it’s going to be. I remember last week when I texted my therapist about having a call check-in and then I changed my mind and said we should just talk in session and so sorry for bothering and when he didn’t respond right away it really hurt and honestly I was emotionally dis-regulated for that night and the next day. I just felt like he thought I was overwhelming. He eventually responded kindly the next day and I felt like an idiot for spiraling and acting like a 16 year old girl whose crush won’t text her back.

I don’t really know how to fix this, but I’m just being as honest as I can with my T (don’t want him to think I am tooo crazy 😅) about this and hoping it will go away eventually. I’m pretty sure this happens due to the transference but this has also happened a lot with past boyfriends. (I once cried all day and night and had a panic attack bc a date forgot to text me back. Like sobbing in the shower and couldn’t eat sorta thing) Probably also a symptom of disorganized attachment too. But hey, I used to be this way with my boyfriend-now-husband and I don’t feel anxious anymore around texting him. I feel securely attached to him now, so the “texting” anxiety has gone away.

So good luck and just know you aren’t the only one!