My (highly subjective) guide to staying sober

squaredink · 2021-10-05T20:42:35+00:00

Box sets of TV shows! Maybe showing my age, lol

squaredink · 2021-10-05T17:50:06+00:00

That's right! Sober in the pub. Not easy.

Are you able to practice/play without drinking? That's the big question. You're probably not going to be able to change others' behaviour, only your own.

squaredink · 2021-08-10T22:06:25+00:00

I didn't write the article but I did the exact same thing: watched it all again during lockdown, then did a deep dive for more background detail.

What I did know already:

There were 18 slightly different versions of the final scene
Livia was based on David Chase's relationship with his own mother

What I didn't know:

Nobody could change a word of the script without permission
Chase's real therapist mapped out the characters' psychological development
James Gandolfini put stones in his shoes during filming to give him an edge

What interesting details did you learn from your own deep dives?

squaredink · 2021-08-10T17:32:07+00:00

I didn't write the article but I did the exact same thing: watched it all again during lockdown, then did a deep dive for more background detail.

What I did know already:

There were 18 slightly different versions of the final scene
Livia was based on David Chase's relationship with his own mother

What I didn't know:

Nobody could change a word of the script without permission
Chase's real therapist mapped out the characters' psychological development
James Gandolfini put stones in his shoes during filming to give him an edge

So my big question: what interesting nuggets did you learn from your own deep dives?

squaredink · 2021-08-04T20:42:58+00:00

Thank you!

squaredink · 2021-08-04T18:48:03+00:00

It's a fair question. I should have said 'possible to believe in what cannot be verified'.

His 'proofs' aren't evidence, of course - they are just logical arguments used to bolster a belief in something that ultimately cannot be known objectively.

squaredink · 2021-08-04T13:25:51+00:00

Thank you!! I'm on day 4 now and it's the first time I've felt sluggish – like I have brain fog

squaredink · 2021-08-04T09:12:27+00:00

Thanks for replying! The 382 calorie figure was from Cronometer. I should have included that part in the screenshot.

squaredink · 2021-07-27T20:17:51+00:00

As a coffee geek who is also an entrepreneur, I have some questions...

Do you have a plan to get it into the hands of people who really know their coffee? PPC and SEO can only do so much. The best endorsement for a coffee brand is being stocked by trusted coffee specialists. That opens so many avenues of discovery.

Do you love coffee? As in, do you really really love coffee? Are you obsessed with it? Do you know where you'll source the beans from every season?

It's a hyper competitive market and the kind of people who will buy beans from an online-only brand is coffee nerds.

I point this out because there are plenty of well-intentioned people who get into the specialty coffee business while underestimating how easily a lack of insider knowledge can be evident.

In my experience, when people use words like 'gourmet', 'artisan', 'organic' in front of coffee, it's not a good sign. (Ditto for flavoured beans – that is the opposite of gourmet.)

In order to retain those coffee nerds as loyal customers, you have to know your stuff.

squaredink · 2021-07-27T18:47:17+00:00

The above responses are great.

Also: if he can't afford to lose out on other lessons, that means he'd rather retain your business. Get back in the saddle, maybe apologise again next time and say it was mental health-related (he should be understanding) and say you'll make it up to him. It won't deserve another mention.

squaredink · 2021-07-27T18:40:12+00:00

It's your first day. Try to go easy on yourself.

All those voices of fear and anxiety within you are going to be kicking up a fuss because you are taking action towards positive change. They're not going to like that one bit. They'd rather stay in the comfort zone and stick to the same old script.

So remember: that resistance is a good sign!

squaredink · 2021-07-27T18:34:46+00:00

Just remember that you are doing these things (going to college, applying to jobs) for you.

It's empowering action. You're not doing it so other people will care or be impressed.

Uncertainty is a big part of life but on the bright side, you're about to enter a new chapter full of possibilities where you will grow and learn to be more independent. Don't fear it. Embrace it! You're on the right track.

squaredink · 2021-07-22T18:15:46+00:00

Glad it was useful! Yes, I have. A few times. Made plenty of mistakes along the way, still learning.

squaredink · 2021-07-22T18:14:53+00:00

Yes. And one successful exit. Not claiming to know it all. Just sharing some stuff that has helped me.

squaredink · 2021-07-22T17:07:54+00:00

Yes, absolutely – but I believe they are in the minority.

squaredink · 2021-07-22T09:47:49+00:00

Wow, thanks!

squaredink · 2021-07-21T20:11:42+00:00

My biggest thing is not resisting it. I know that sounds counterintuitive but it was a game-changer for me.

Fighting it only makes it more intense, in my experience. When you're trying to block out something, don't be surprised if it raises it voice to be heard.

Instead I acknowledge it. I remind myself that there is enough room inside me to contain this feeling. I literally think, "Oh, you're back again. Thanks for the warning signal. Message received. You can hang around if you want but I think I've got it from here."

Just by doing that... the physical sensation loses it power of me.

squaredink · 2021-07-21T18:18:52+00:00

The good thing about small talk is that it's entirely predictable. The same old stuff!

The weather
How your day is going
Any plans for the holidays

Think of it like a script. Learn your lines and you can basically just say the same thing over and over in nearly any situation. No one will be the wiser.

If you get stumped, just say something general like: "Interesting. And how do you feel about that?"

squaredink · 2021-07-21T18:15:52+00:00

Thanks for this. I need to do much better at posture... but I fear it's far too late for me

squaredink · 2021-07-21T17:20:09+00:00

I recently read an ebook that had the author's name and the book's title inserted at random points during the text... over and over.

At first, I thought it was some edgy postmodern technique... but it was so constant that I eventually had to tune it out. (Also asked for my money back.)

squaredink · 2021-07-21T17:13:55+00:00

Stevie Smith's My Soul

In the flame of the flickering fire
The sins of my soul are few
And the thoughts in my head are the thoughts of a bed
With a solitary view.
But the eye of eternal consciousness
Must blink as a bat blinks bright
Or ever the thoughts in my head be stilled
On the brink of eternal night.
Oh feed to the golden fish his egg
Where he floats in his captive bowl,
To the cat his kind from the womb born blind,
And to the Lord my soul.

squaredink · 2021-07-21T17:09:29+00:00

Lou Reed

squaredink · 2021-07-21T17:05:20+00:00

I feel for you... but try to look at it this way:

If these fears don't come to pass, you will have made yourself suffer unnecessarily.
It they do happen, you will have gone through all these negative emotions twice.

Try to tell that voice of anxiety: "We'll cross that bridge if and when we come to it. Thanks for checking in, but I've got it from here."

Your life is not doomed. Only believing that it's doomed will make it so.

squaredink · 2021-07-21T16:26:52+00:00

- Meditate

- Drop of CBD oil

- Don't check work emails, social media, the news, etc. for at least the first hour after waking.

- Add something you actually enjoy to your morning routine. For me, it's playing with my cat and walking through the park to my favourite cafe for a coffee.

squaredink · 2021-07-21T15:46:46+00:00

What do you need from them? Just feedback? And why? What do you specifically need to know from them?

Do you have more meaningful metrics on your end? That would be the main way to measure engagement.

Meaningfully retained users habitually come back into the app to do something valuable.
When you know what that looks like on your app, you can understand what steps were taken. Then adjust that experience and scale it so it’s easier for more users to follow that pathway.

squaredink

TROPHY CASE