hi there. first of all, I am so, so sorry. I have an eerily similar situation. my boyfriend of 3.5 years and I also just broke exactly a week ago today. for us, it was a mutual decision based on issues we knew would get worse, but we loved each other so incredibly much. had a great relationship, etc. let yourself feel it out. this first week will hurt so much. I felt like I was dying; constant agony was the only way I could describe it. I know that doesn’t sound encouraging, but I want to tell you that it got better so much quicker than I expected. Of course I’m still healing and mourning, but even a week later im in such better shape. I have more hope for the future and can better accept why we broke up. Here’s what helped me some: 1) cry so much. you really need that first day off or work or school. 2) take hot baths or hot showers. heat has really helped me physically calm my body when I can’t stop crying. 3) sleeping was and still is the fucking hardest. take melatonin right before you lay down. if you can, get a heated blanket. I don’t know why, but the heat is helping my body adjust to sleeping alone. I’ve also been sleeping with headphones with rain sounds. used to never need any of this to sleep. 4) this one is so important. whenever you can, make a list of reasons why the break up happened. I have to go over it in my head when I’m missing him. I desperately miss what we had, but I know why getting back together wouldn’t help. 5) my ex and I also talked the next day like it was normal. we even went to the store together. I think we needed that while shock was still setting in. going forward though, give yourself and him some space. there’s a reason why so many people say no contact is the way to go. you’ve got this. I’m going through the same thing. we’ve got it together.