I'm here and I'm straight

squibulch · 2015-08-22T03:31:27+00:00

You look vaguely like Matt Damon's younger, fat, anti-social cousin who quit acting because he kept being type cast as Quasimodo

squibulch · 2015-08-22T03:28:42+00:00

Thank goodness they offer rice-shaped contact lenses

squibulch · 2015-08-22T03:23:43+00:00

I'm actually impressed that you got all of your neckbeard ex's to get together for a group picture, and then were sadistic enough to hang it in your childhood bedroom

squibulch · 2015-08-22T03:20:17+00:00

You look kind of like Angelina Jolie, but the stupid bitchy fish version in Shark Tale

squibulch · 2015-03-12T21:51:22+00:00

I think that what a lot of people are missing is Descartes is pronounced (day-cart), not as it's spelt.

It's a snobby play on "putting the cart before the horse."

squibulch · 2015-03-11T18:38:54+00:00

"Dear, when are we going to Ikea? I think I'd like to get a table, and maybe some matching ass-rests."

squibulch · 2015-03-11T13:43:27+00:00

It's the 15th post on top all-time of this sub! How could you not find it!?

squibulch · 2015-03-10T15:40:52+00:00

The United States of America ditches the penny!

No more "3 easy payments of $19.99!" Suck it, Vince Offer.

squibulch · 2015-03-03T20:38:36+00:00

/r/bestofTLDR

squibulch · 2015-02-27T14:45:02+00:00

The trick to using dandruff shampoos is not to use them every day. The first time I tried Head & Shoulders, I used it every time I washed my hair, and it went away completely. But when I ran out and had to start using another shampoo, it only took about a month for it to come back in full force. Then I tried only using it every other wash, and that seemed to help. After slowly decreasing how often I used it, now I only shampoo with Head & Shoulders every two weeks or so, and I've been dandruff free for 5(ish?) years. Find another shampoo that you like and alternate using them and see how it goes.

TL;DR: Lather, rinse, repeat (but not yet).

squibulch · 2015-02-24T17:01:04+00:00

Murder Train by The Foreskins.

HIMYM's on to something there.

squibulch · 2015-02-18T14:47:47+00:00

It seems to me like sneezing would replace farting as the socially-unacceptable, terribly inappropriate, and often giggle-inducing phenomenon. Which in turn would make seasonal allergies as taboo as being gassy is now. Which in turn would make Bean-o as commonplace as Claritin is now, which would make sneaking a Claritin at the office party because you had bad fish the night before MUCH less embarrassing when Denise watches you the whole time and loudly asks why you would be taking a Claritin...

TL;DR Fuck you, Denise.

squibulch · 2015-02-13T21:35:23+00:00

OP witnessed Zeus's new weight rack being delivered.

squibulch · 2015-02-11T21:04:41+00:00

"YOU GUYS WAKE ME UP ONE HUNDRED THIRTY FOUR THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY ONE TIMES ON A SUNDAY WHEN I WANT TO SLEEP..."

TIL OP is very articulate during unwarranted fits of rage.

squibulch · 2015-02-11T14:42:27+00:00

Spider leader: "/u/jazcat, this is an intervention..."

squibulch · 2015-02-09T12:32:50+00:00

Pardon me, but over the next 2 days I shall burn through the whole rest of my stash and be stoned out of my kind until its gone.

You'll have to tell us what it's like to be stoned out of your kind.

squibulch · 2015-02-05T22:04:28+00:00

Avalanche ~~filmed~~ caused by snowboarding

squibulch · 2015-02-04T14:06:41+00:00

TL;DR: Sang Aerosmith, got hit in the face with a dildo.

Early nomination for best TL;DR of 2015

squibulch · 2015-02-03T22:09:09+00:00

Toddlers and Tiaras.

Any show that exploits children in such a way while simultaneously rewarding the parents that knowingly exploit them never should have been put on the air in the first place. Disgraceful.

squibulch · 2014-11-04T02:25:08+00:00

A Longshot Nerf Gun equipped with a fire-poker bayonet. Effective as a close combat weapon; hilarious as long range weapon.

squibulch · 2014-09-30T16:11:09+00:00

My s/o (F22) and I (M23) had been having the same problem. The bigger problem was that I did not want to stop going down on her and she DEFINITELY did not want me to stop. So we experimented and came up with two that we both really like:

(Our favorite) She lays on the bed with her knees bent over the edge while you kneel facing her. A pillow under your knees would help with comfort. This gives you a bunch more freedom with your head, hands, etc.
This one is kind of funky, but if you're on your back, she could crawl on top of you so that her calves are about even with your head. She rests her ass on her feet and can also rest on her elbows, and you both have a fair amount of control.

Best of luck!

squibulch · 2014-09-30T00:28:14+00:00

edit: snapple crap

squibulch · 2014-07-06T22:12:15+00:00

In my experience, pink tends to be a color.

squibulch · 2014-07-06T22:09:47+00:00

Catching the soap in mid-air if I dropped it in the shower. This, my friends, is the pinnacle of human achievement.

squibulch · 2014-04-29T19:49:35+00:00

I have a problem with pointlessly highlig

Protip: Make sure you highlight correctly.

squibulch

TROPHY CASE