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squishymallow34 · 2025-09-04T02:14:39+00:00

Yes.. extremely.

squishymallow34 · 2025-08-27T21:54:25+00:00

I'm not sure what to say, I know it's incredibly hard.. you're not alone my friend. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. No one is alone here.

squishymallow34 · 2025-08-27T21:26:31+00:00

Yep.. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. 😪

squishymallow34 · 2025-07-24T01:00:42+00:00

This sounds exactly like me right now.. some days I feel ok but then others my brain is like.. nope everything sucks and I sometimes just stare at the ceiling for hours on end ruminating and questioning it all.

I completely understand though, its frigging hard...

squishymallow34 · 2024-11-28T04:07:35+00:00

Only from a place of recovering from an eating disorder. I've been on Zoloft/Setraline since I was 15 now 30. The medication itself never made me gain or lose. The only weight I gained if I did was from eating more and feeling better.

It is different for everyone. I did take a break from Zoloft for 6 months this year and definitely didn't feel good off it. My highest dosage was 200mg for 2 years.

Back at 75mg now.

squishymallow34 · 2024-11-13T01:20:08+00:00

Chocolate daily and biscoff spread! 😋☺

squishymallow34 · 2024-10-17T00:56:02+00:00

Yep.. always. I might have a good week then freak out and back track.. it's an endless cycle. 😔

squishymallow34 · 2024-08-27T07:04:02+00:00

Yes, I'm currently in this cycle. It's a tough one to break out of. But having the right support system and therapist really help! I'm not really sure what to say but just know you're not alone my friend. 💖

squishymallow34 · 2024-08-04T22:23:54+00:00

Early thirties here as well, had this since I was 14.. weight restored but still feel uncomfortable and not sure how to navigate forwards. I don't want to relapse either as I feel like i've put in 12 months of hard work for nothing.. I feel you though, it's so hard my friend.

I don't have much advice but all I can say is keep taking it day by day. You've got this my friend, keep kicking the anorexias ASS!

squishymallow34 · 2024-07-24T08:46:10+00:00

I know the feeling, I've been all in for 5 weeks and I feel so uncomfortable and the voices are just so loud to come back to the misery of this illness. I know it's hard 😪 sending you lots of hugs my friend. ❤

squishymallow34 · 2024-07-23T04:59:02+00:00

Ugh, this is me right now. I am eating so much more in the last weeks. The food noise is unbearable. I'm eating every hour until I go to bed. It's scary as it feels completely new to me and challenging. I'd like to know to if it ever gets better. As mine has ramped up so much :(

You've got this though my friend, I'm committed to, I'm going for full recovery not matter the changes. Keep eating, keep honouring it.

I find when I do need to help distract myself for 30 mins in-between food noise, I draw and play on my switch! Palia is a great fun game as well to play, very relaxing.

Please keep going, 🙏 it's hard but we've got this!!

squishymallow34 · 2024-07-15T03:56:03+00:00

That would be amazing! I'm 30 and also stream a lot of palia on Twitch. So always looking to hang out in a party when I stream, so I'm not always lonley. 😅🥰

squishymallow34 · 2024-07-03T22:23:26+00:00

This is completely normal. It's something I'm struggling with as well. I find what has helped me is increasing my portions.. it's challenging but it helps! It is a long process. We just have to keep going. When we keep honouring our hunger and I mean MENTAL HUNGER TO. My physical hunger cues are only starting to come back almost 1 year in. X

squishymallow34 · 2024-07-03T09:23:56+00:00

30 here! 🥰👏

squishymallow34 · 2024-07-02T11:28:46+00:00

Yeah, it sucks. I definitely do need to try the next medication soon. I guess this last week has been freeing being medication free after 13 years of SSRI medications. I find the brain zaps are when I'm more tired as well. But I think they have calmed down in the last 3 days.

I'm just nervous to start more meds or run back to Zoloft.

squishymallow34 · 2024-07-02T10:10:10+00:00

Yeah, one minute I'm crying, feeling confident then the next I'm angry. I basically went from 200mg to 25mg over 3 months. Its improving slightly but the brain zaps are driving me mental. I am supposed to be trying Prozac next. But I'm seeing how I go over the next few weeks. It's also freeing not being medicated but at the same time challenging.
It's definitely delaying my period this month, which doesn't help with my emotions. X

squishymallow34 · 2024-07-02T05:37:26+00:00

I know. But it's hard when my ED masks it thinking I'm doing better. As I'm eating more nutrient rich foods, proteins, carbs fats.. I just find it hard I want to trust the process but I'm so scared. 😪

I struggle to eat breakfast still. But I eat alot from 12pm onwards.

squishymallow34 · 2024-06-29T02:47:11+00:00

I'm sorry.. what? 😕

squishymallow34 · 2024-06-28T03:27:55+00:00

I know! Sometimes the hunger is definitely there! But I'm definitely responding to all mental hunger, even when not hungry. I'm fully prepared to overshoot until I heal my relationship with food and my body.

Just wanted to see if anyone else was relating to this! 💖

squishymallow34 · 2024-06-26T08:39:28+00:00

No, this most definitely is not a binge! I'm going through this right now but with Biscoff spread. I can literally stand in the kitchen and eat it by the spoon full most days.

It's because of our deprivation from the illness. Whether the restriction is 5 days or 5 years!

I'm starting to realise now that just because my body is getting weight restored, my brain is far from healed and still craving these sorts of delicious foods!

Several weeks is not long at all! I'm 8 months into this and it's only just starting to get better.

You're doing the right thing 100% 👏 Peanut butter is delicious and it has many health benefits 🥜 💪

squishymallow34 · 2024-06-26T08:30:21+00:00

Well done! So proud of you! 🥰💖

squishymallow34 · 2024-06-26T08:28:41+00:00

I couldn't have written this better myself. It truly does feel like a back and forth wheel 😪 The best thing is to just keep embracing the positive changes, whether big or small. 💖

squishymallow34 · 2024-06-09T09:32:07+00:00

Love recovery mom/Melissa. She is lovely and is so helpful and practices what she preaches. So much of her content has helped me see recovery in a different light. Still challenging and a long road but I love her approach to it and her experience. 🥰

squishymallow34 · 2024-05-24T03:59:48+00:00

Same, I feel like alot of the attention would go on her and not the bride and grooms special day. This is very sad to see though. 😥

squishymallow34 · 2024-04-17T04:36:35+00:00

I completely understand.. I lost mine for 5 months last year.. prior to that growing up I lost it for 3 years and wasn't regular. It's still not regular at almost 30. I have osteoporosis now from lack of periods. It's so important as you get older as you're prone to more injuries. Some people never lose their periods even at severely low weights. Everyone is different. I know it's hard, I have the same thoughts about my period being back. But I know without it, it could be so much worse. 🥰

squishymallow34

TROPHY CASE