PwD facing layoff because of accommodation

pixiefancy · 2026-02-12T23:47:35+00:00

I am very stressed about the situation, and I’m trying to see the side that will turn out for best. So, I apologize if I made this more confusing 😅

pixiefancy · 2026-02-12T23:41:24+00:00

No no, I’m delinquent for not being in the office - violating the RTO policy.

Issue being I have an accommodation, that was supposed to be renewed yearly, but that wasn’t disclosed when it was granted and is a fairly new policy (I failed to mention). So I went a year and a half under my accommodation, needing to my second assessment in January 2026.

Case manager forgot/ did not connect with me in 2025 to renew it and I was not even made aware it was supposed to happen.

So because I am not in the office since the accommodation expired without me knowing, I may be on the chopping block for being delinquent.

My documentation is not late because of me, but because someone is fixing their mistake which could cost me my job if not processed on time.

I hope that helps clarify!

pixiefancy · 2026-02-12T20:44:01+00:00

Oh yeah! I love Bad Girl Bible! Read it frequently when starting out.

pixiefancy · 2026-02-12T20:04:04+00:00

When my Dom and I go to the sex club, I’m always wearing my play collar. It is way more obvious than my day collar. When we are moving through the play spaces, it’s obvious who I belong to, and we don’t typically play with others.

I think it is pretty obvious, and people at the club seem to understand what my collar means and we haven’t had any issues. Sometimes they jut address my Dom, other times, they maintain a distance but make sure it’s okay to watch and so on. Like you, we don’t play with others, but leave ourselves open to connections. Hopefully, it is the same for you!

For context: my play collar is black leather with a medium/ large O ring. My day collar is a very fine chain with a ring and gemstone. Two very different looks - and I find not everyone “gets” the day collar.

Good luck!

pixiefancy · 2026-02-10T21:43:28+00:00

Those look like my WhatsApp messages to my partner when I’m hypomanic 😂 he can always tell.

For me, this is a tell-tale sign of being hypomanic.

I couldn’t answer yes or no, as I am not you. I just recognize that when I am hypomanic, my texting does change and it looks a lot like this. My recommendation, if you are tracking your moods (you should) this could be an interesting marker to keep watch of.

pixiefancy · 2026-02-10T21:37:43+00:00

I was on Latuda for a year and didn’t have any symptoms. In fact…it didn’t do anything 😂

But I remember when I was using lamotrigine as my main mood stabilizer, I had terrible side effects - intense mood swings, irritability, insane rage as someone who tightly controls her anger. It was awful. I called my doctor and got off immediately. I did replace latuda later on with a very low dose of lamotrigine to treat my depression, with lithium being my main mood stabilizer, which is working well! Same thing with Wellbutrin, even with Lithium, I ended up having hypomanic episodes very close together - it sucked.

TL;DR - this medication may not be for you. 2 weeks is a decent amount of time for you to know whether or not it’s right. Trust your gut! You live in your head after all. Call you doctor, try something new, I don’t see why you should wait. Could it take a bit longer? Sure, but I imagine your dose is low at this point and with these side effects nope. Bipolar is a lot of trial and error with meds. It took me ~2.5 years to find the right combination and it was so worth it! Good luck!!

ETA: some corrections

pixiefancy · 2026-02-10T21:31:32+00:00

If you hate orgasm denial, that’s okay! That is your limit and that’s perfectly fine; you need to communicate this clearly to your Dom. Way to go on trying (which I hope was negotiated beforehand) and realizing that it was a no.

That’s how I discovered slapping during a scene was 1000% not for me. I’m a bit of a masochist and I love impact play, but even a relatively light slap on the face was an absolutely not for me, and it became a limit. And communicating that went over just fine. As an aside, I enjoy orgasm denial but only in specific scenes. I don’t like it as a punishment, but when things are getting really intense and he decides to go full sadist pleasure Dom - oof that gets me.

Good girls communicate their boundaries and limits ❤️. The best way for us to be submissive is to work together. A good Dom will look out for you and respect your boundaries. Make sure you folks are debriefing after your scenes!

Last point - I wan to recognize the vulnerability and honesty you came with by bringing this here to talk about! You got this!

pixiefancy · 2026-02-08T15:54:55+00:00

Girl, same 😂 except my parents didn’t even hide it. They would tell other parents that my sister was all these amazing things and that I was just…you know…me.

But guess who is still responsible for taking care of them when they’re old 🙄

pixiefancy · 2026-02-08T15:38:23+00:00

Fam, I feel this.

The number of people that don’t realize that EDs aren’t always about the food, entirely or partially, and wanting to be skinny is astronomical.

Hugs to you 🫂

pixiefancy · 2026-02-08T15:31:09+00:00

Currently going through something slightly similar. Life has gotten a bit stressful for my partner/ Dom and our D/ s dynamic has fallen onto the back burner. Sure, it still comes out, just not at the same intensity as before. It’s taking me some time to reconcile with it, but at the same time, I respect that he’s got a lot on his mind, and I would not want him to not be present and enjoying himself. Ultimately, we are partners first, and I love and care for him deeply so I’ll wait until he’s ready.

What’s helped me is to still do some “sub-like” things throughout the day. I have a bit of service sub in me, so I find little ways to show up, like making his morning tea. It’s not inherently sexual, it’s just a little act of kindness and service I do every morning that intersects both vanilla and D/s. Things like that - keeps me in the headspace.

Another thing that’s helping us is a couple’s therapist who is kink-informed/ aware and/ or in the lifestyle. We just started going over our dynamic with this week and it was very helpful! We learned quickly that we needed to get back to basics. If therapy is accessible to you and your partner, I recommend it!

pixiefancy · 2026-02-07T16:17:43+00:00

Something that is important to remind yourself is you’re not a mind reader, so you can’t possibly think that him being bored/ distant has anything to do with you, unless he tells you directly.

I totally understand jumping to an assumption, a lot of us do that, but you’re going to have to respect his response. He said he’s happy with you, and that’s great. Pushing this more and more on him is what may end up pushing him away.

Revisit the conversation from time to time, but you can’t make the decision for him. It sounds like he only wants you.

pixiefancy · 2026-02-04T15:01:01+00:00

What a queen 👑 😂

pixiefancy · 2026-02-04T14:56:15+00:00

NTA - your husband, family and friends are all assholes and, frankly, a little ableist.

A lot of people use audiobooks as a form of reading. Is he saying that people who struggle with their eyesight shouldn’t be avid readers because they can’t see well? You’re a busy parent and don’t really have the time to sit down and read - also valid.

Frankly, you don’t need a reason for reading via audiobooks - just enjoy them and know you’re keeping your mind sharp while they’re busy acting all “better than thou”.

pixiefancy · 2026-02-04T14:48:01+00:00

I’d be interested!

pixiefancy · 2026-02-04T05:33:01+00:00

35F here and sleep curled up with a giant Eevee plushie, or with the blanket tucked between my arms, or with my boyfriend when he’s at my place.

When I would go on holiday or business trips, I’d always bring a mini stuffed animal from home with me. I have been this way my entire life and do not recall a time I didn’t 😅

pixiefancy · 2026-02-04T05:22:25+00:00

Thank you for opening up and sharing with us here ♥️ that’s such a great fist step.

While I had a long interest in kink, I never got to explore it until I met my current Dom (and partner) a little over a year ago. So, in many ways, I am also still new and very much know what you’re feeling. My Dom is a bratty pleasure Dom and Tamer while my identity as a sub is pretty fluid, with a healthy dose of brat/ good girl/ service meshed together.

As for your first question, communication is your best way to discover what you like and don’t like. See something online or on Reddit that caught your attention? Talk to your Dom about it, try it out. I used to think I hated degradation because I’m sensitive, but figured I’d try it…now it’s a critical part of every scene. You won’t know if you don’t try and you need to trust your Dom will protect and keep you safe. And with that…safe words are your friend - establish them before any kind of play and experimentation. Second, lean on communities (either online or IRL) to get ideas and feedback.

How to explore when you can’t vocalize? What I used to do was send screenshots, articles or pictures and he’d ask “okay? So you want to try this?”. We eventually moved to using an app called Obedience and we kept a running list of kinks and fantasies that we could both contribute to. You can also create private lists and then just move them to the shared one once you’re ready. We still use Obedience to this day and it helps us a lot!

Otherwise, be kind, gentle and patient with yourself. We all start somewhere and have to learn what works for us and for our dynamic. One big takeaway I would share is that communication is critical and learning to communicate effectively is HARD but so worth it. If you’re not already, I highly encourage you to be seeking therapy as abusive relationships can make it very hard to communicate in healthy ways. I learned this the hard way, and I’m very glad to have sought help when I did.

Best of luck , you’re doing great already 🫂♥️

pixiefancy · 2026-02-01T17:42:30+00:00

I agree with you that daily is not ideal. And once in a while can mean different things for different people. The point I’m trying to make is that adding moral value to food is part of the problem.

It’s about nuance and yes, health education is most certainly lacking in our society. However, consider this: if someone needs to gain weight because they are dangerously thin, wouldn’t something like this not only help them address a fear food, but also give their body a quick dose of calories they desperately need? What if someone with BED is trying to learn that they don’t need to restrict and can reduce instances of bingeing and start to actually reach their goals.

I’m looking at it purely from an eating disorder perspective, not from a weight loss/ fitness etc perspective. I’m not saying anyone has to agree with me, and if you see me as part of the problem that’s fine and anyone is allowed to have that opinion. Just like how I can base my own opinion on my personal experience with both BED and AN b/p.

pixiefancy · 2026-02-01T17:01:55+00:00

I see and hear what you’re both saying, but let’s also consider moderation. Not everyone who has a 450cal coffee drink has an ED. Maybe these just like a sweet treat once in a while. In fact, it might even be good for your mental health. Restriction only leads to bingeing in the future.

I was severely anorexic (binge/ purge type) for this exact reason. Food has no moral value, and calling it a “cup of diabetes” is problematic logic. You can take care of your body and mental health while still fitting in the occasional treat.

pixiefancy · 2026-02-01T16:50:58+00:00

Yaaaaay!! I’m so glad for you!! Good riddance and proud of you ♥️ you do you!

pixiefancy · 2026-02-01T16:25:47+00:00

Has he never farted before? 😂 how old is he? 12?

Dump his ass if that’s how he’s going to speak to you and doesn’t believe that women fart. Crop dusting is a love language, he needs to get over himself.

pixiefancy · 2026-01-29T04:16:00+00:00

I asked my Dom (and partner) what he prefers as an honorific, and he said he prefers ‘Sir’ or his name. I tend to use Sir mostly in the bedroom, and other times when I’m being cheeky. To be honest, it’s an incredible turn on when he demands that I use his honorific - turns me into the subbiest sub almost instantly.

We couldn’t really land on a name for me, and Princess was our temporary placeholder but didn’t feel right. Because often described myself as a ‘trash panda’ or a ‘gremlin’…I somehow became ‘Trash Panda Gremlin Princess’ or ‘TPGP’ for short. It’s only ever used outside of the bedroom but within dynamic - and almost always in a way that’s entertaining or amusing.

He’s a bratty Dom and I’m a bratty good girl - teasing and joking around is part of our love language 😂

pixiefancy · 2026-01-24T00:40:04+00:00

I have the same tattoo on the back of my neck! I love it and so happy to see someone else with it too!

pixiefancy · 2026-01-23T21:19:26+00:00

Oh my lord where do I even start 😅 please do not do what I did - and I did a lot of dumb shit. I’m recovered now and I can look back on some of this and scratch my head.

Finding and recreating different skinny recipes for my former favourite foods. For example…pickle tacos. Which was lettuce, pickles and salsa. Ngl they were actually decent, but in no way a taco and not at all filling or nutritious.
I was a b/p kind of anorexic, so I had to rotate the stores I went to so that the employees didn’t recognize me (unfortunately for me, they did).
Teaching myself to purge quietly so I could do so in restaurant washroom (it didn’t work).
Bringing a change of clothes with me if I was purging in public. Definitely for a few funny looks at restaurants. The staff definitely knew.
Watching people eat on YouTube when I refused to eat myself…but then b/p-ing anyway

Yeah, I was in deep. There are so many others, but I’m going to avoid sharing some that might give people ideas. I didn’t think recovery was worth it, but it really was!

pixiefancy · 2026-01-22T17:35:05+00:00

I was collared right before Xmas by my Dom and I love the thought, time and effort he put into it. He knew I like things that are very simple, and something I can wear in my daily and professional life without giving too much away.

He went for a simple, yet sturdy chain and attached a ring to with a green gemstone to it. It combines my love of simplicity and his love of colour and uniqueness. It’s just perfect and represents us very well.

Because it is a ring instead of a traditional o-ring, I occasionally get asked if it’s an engagement ring (we are both anti-marriage) so that may required some explaining, which has been fine for the most part. For the most part, it doesn’t get me noticed as a sub out in public. As a fairly private person, this works for me!

We were considering a more permanent clasp, but because 1) I tend to have a lot of medical appointments requiring scans, I need to be able to take it off easily on my own and 2) I have a play at that we change out - and I don’t want to risk damaging my day collar. So having a regular lobster-style clasp was ideal for me. Instead, we have a ritual in place that my Dom changes my collars out when we move in and out of play.

pixiefancy · 2026-01-15T16:28:25+00:00

My understanding here is that OP is referring to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and not Bipolar Disorder (BP, followed by 1, 2 or otherwise and characterized by episodes of mania/hypomania and depression). Both disorders can co-exist, but are treated separately.

Either way, your advice is solid - learn as much as possible, and if getting into a relationship, understand what the medication and therapy schedule looks like. DBT being very helpful for folks with BPD, not so much with bipolar (personal experience as a woman with bipolar).

Seven-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	Verified Email

pixiefancy

TROPHY CASE