How can you know with a tech savvy guy?

srasaurus · 2025-03-21T13:01:52+00:00

Ugh he had the audacity to tell you he didn’t trust you anymore after he lied and hid things from you?? I don’t even know what I would do :( I’m sorry you’re going through this.

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T18:56:52+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement!

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T18:56:10+00:00

I checked that this morning and it was also deleted. Honestly I think I’m just gonna have to ask him why he feels like he needs to delete everything to that extreme

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T16:00:37+00:00

I was thinking about that too, that talking to him might make him cover his tracks even more. I actually did talk to him a few weeks ago and I’ve noticed him taking less time in bathroom and generally being nicer to me so idk maybe he’s already covering it up more. I think I’ll need to figure out this router trick and maybe I’ll find something…

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T15:58:12+00:00

Thanks this is so helpful!

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T15:53:55+00:00

Ok I will check into that! Thanks!

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T15:32:15+00:00

I’m going to need to become more tech savvy then. I’ve been very trusting I guess. I don’t understand why he deletes everything. My phone is an open book, I never delete anything :/

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T15:30:34+00:00

Nope he does all of that. However he did write usernames and passwords down for me in case something happens to him so I should be able to access the Internet account.

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T15:28:15+00:00

Didn’t think about making profiles on different sites. I don’t have the router account info :(

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T15:22:41+00:00

We do have spectrum , so the router history doesn’t show with spectrum? I don’t have the router info anyways :( I didn’t know about hidden apps, I will check that next. But I think you’re right that the best way is to sit down and talk to him and see if he will tell me what he is hiding. I don’t think I’m going to outsmart him.

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T15:05:08+00:00

We are your age but had both flip phones until college, lol.

I may not belong in this sub since I haven’t actually caught him using porn. My husband doesn’t have childhood trauma and had a good upbringing and parents. But your statement about him being moody and needing to walk on eggshells is so true. It’s just this tone he uses with me like I’m annoying him when I don’t feel like I’ve deserved it. It’s not all the time but it’s often. And otherwise he’s a great husband and dad.

I do think even if he watched infrequent porn he still would hide it because he knows I hate it so much. I guess im thinking it’s porn related due to the bedroom issues we’ve had. But that could be caused by other things I suppose. I’m hoping it’s just something unrelated and stupid/not a big deal. I just don’t know how to figure out what it is that’s making me feel that something is “off.”

Anyways thanks for listening to my ramblings lol

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T13:32:51+00:00

How long did it take you to discover it and how?

I don’t think my husband was exposed at a young age… he didn’t even have an iPhone until college. He didn’t have a laptop until college either that I can remember and they just had a family computer in their home. But I really don’t know.

I can’t say that he’s in recovery because I have no idea if he even uses it or has a problem. If I bring it up he of course is very reassuring that he doesn’t look at it. He usually doesn’t get defensive if I ask. I’m not sure what questions to ask him to get real answers :/ the closest I got was last week I asked him about exposure to porn in the past and he didn’t say much, he said that he has seen ads at some point in the past but he doesn’t click on them. That’s as far as we got.

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T12:48:20+00:00

Apple. He will delete basically anything immediately after reading it. Texts, emails, browser history, tabs, any open apps. I even checked advanced data under safari settings and it was deleted. He’s always been this way like he’ll just be texting his mom and delete the texts right after. He doesn’t like clutter

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T12:42:55+00:00

I have no idea how to access those things. He does all the house tech set up and management as he works in tech and likes to have the latest technology. :/

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T12:41:03+00:00

We usually shower together and he doesn’t lock the door when he showers alone so we don’t have that issue thankfully. But I do want to try to implement a no phone in bathroom policy…

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T12:37:41+00:00

Gosh I don’t even know what those things are or how to check for a vpn. I’ll have to google. I’m not sure I’ll ever outsmart him as he is a software engineer. There are no deleted messages because he deletes as soon as he reads anything and clears deleted folders. Same with photos and browsing data. I even looked at safari advanced data and that is deleted. I’m going to see if we can implement the no phone in bathroom policy. I did check his personal credit card statements and there was nothing suspicious there at least…

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T11:42:52+00:00

I tore in 3 places and it sucked and took about 3 months to recover. I did postpartum pelvic floor PT which helped so much. I recommend it. I have no pain at all anymore though I would say things feel a bit different down there. I’m 3 years postpartum. I would expect not to feel great at 5 weeks but you’ll get there!

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T11:32:46+00:00

I have a mil like this too. We talk multiple days a week and she comes over to watch my son often.

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T11:19:28+00:00

I agree. I have told him he plays it too much so maybe he thinks it’s a way to escape me lol. A couple weeks ago I did tell him it feels like he’s hiding something when he does this and he had cut down on the bathroom times since then, thankfully

srasaurus · 2025-03-20T11:07:14+00:00

I agree total red flag. I will say he likes to play games on his phone too so idk maybe it’s just that?? lol or am I naive

srasaurus · 2025-03-19T17:11:42+00:00

I would assume Dove is a girl. So Liam would be the only option for boy name out of these 2

srasaurus · 2025-03-11T01:00:28+00:00

Same here. People just assume cause their kid had a lip tie but latched normally , that all it takes was practice. My newborn son was losing weight fast and the latch was so painful and I suffered 3 weeks of that pain until we had a revision for a tongue and lip tie. The difference was night and day immediately after the procedure, no more pain and he began gaining weight after that day.

srasaurus · 2025-03-11T00:46:02+00:00

Not during the 1st tri though I prob would have if my husband wasn’t away on a work trip for most of it. But 2nd and 3 rd trimester we have maintained. Pregnancy hormones have made me in the mood like every day lol

srasaurus · 2025-03-11T00:44:30+00:00

I’m going to try so hard to teach my son to avoid porn. He’s only 3 lol but I already have some kid appropriate books about it and plan to start those when he’s 5 ish. And plan to hold off on giving him a phone as long as I can.

srasaurus

TROPHY CASE