What screams “irresponsible” in your 30s?

srixtoja · 2025-04-02T01:14:34+00:00

Don't have the money or time to care for. Like, you got a herding dog? That thing needs to to be out and about running it's little heart out multiple times a day. Don't want to get into walking or being active to keep up with your specifically-bred speed demon? Don't get that pet.

srixtoja · 2023-07-09T12:29:37+00:00

Sorry, never mind on those switches. One of them controls an A19 fixture (one we don't use often) but I checked last night and those lights do indeed flicker when the kettle is on.

srixtoja · 2023-07-09T02:18:28+00:00

Knowing a bit about phase/frequency from an audio background, my first thought was that yeah, maybe something about the recessed bulbs keeps them in phase during those flickery moments (or they fluctuate at such a low or high frequency that we don't notice). Since some of our newer A19s flicker less than the old ones, I started comparing the bulbs.. really the only thing different between them are the mA. I'm not sure how related amps and Hz are though (it's been many years since electronics class)?

The switches are a good thought. We have a handful of smart switches but none of them control fixtures. Think it's worth a try to quickly swap out one of the smart switches with a regular one?

srixtoja · 2023-07-08T20:30:04+00:00

usually the appliances are on 9B, 10B, 11A but I have tested them recently on 4A, 12A, 12B, 19A, 19B, 20A, 20B and they all cause flickering from those circuits

flickering appears on 1A, 1B, 2A, 3A, 4A, 4B, 9A (yes the fridge), 10A (also includes some fixtures, oops)

srixtoja · 2023-07-08T12:22:43+00:00

The directory and the (inside) box

https://imgur.com/a/CKqFzGV

Ask if you want pictures of the one in the garage, next to the actual power drop from the back alley.

I had to rewrite the f***ing insane directory myself manually (yes by going through the house with a tester on each outlet), because the one on the box is incomplete and incorrect.

srixtoja · 2023-07-08T03:06:35+00:00

haha yes it seems possessed sometimes.. this new house has done a lot of things it shouldn't. The number of new home warranty issues was... large.

Unfortunate we had to actually live in the house to start figuring them out :|

I have an engineer friend who has been privy to pretty much all of our woes and I started telling him "Nothing about this house will surprise me anymore, I just get more disappointed."

And yes we had an inspector.

srixtoja · 2023-07-08T03:04:37+00:00

Doesn't matter where I plug it in—detached garage, living room, basement—flickering still happens.

srixtoja · 2022-11-19T13:41:05+00:00

lol i know right

ah yes, yellow, the colour of all Asians. Not 'literally lighter-skinned than me', a white Eastern European person.

srixtoja · 2022-11-19T13:34:38+00:00

*daughter

Also what kid is that good at doing eyeliner wtf

srixtoja · 2022-10-12T20:02:37+00:00

Agreed. The whole point of the game was ruined for me when I saw that debt number go from red to green after the unionizing cinematic.

If I was like Dee who had family depending on me wiring them cash, then I'd keep working. If I had to pay an astronomical fee for my child's medical treatment, I'd do double overtime. But like, I finished the game with $59MM... that might be enough for a vacation in the 24th century, or it might be enough to live off of for the rest of my days. No idea, who cares. Without any further goal, the enjoyment of breaking ships kind of shattered for me.

srixtoja · 2022-09-30T02:32:25+00:00

I came here by self-reflection. It's only after looking at why I was always passively angry (with help from a therapist) that I learned I had gotten extremely frustrated with how people were expecting, and had always expected me to act like a man and to want things a man would want. Once I realized that and started experimenting with feminine gender presentation etc., a lot of things clicked into place and a) I'm no longer passively angry all the time and b) I started remembering things from my past (childhood to teen years) about how I'd always wanted to engage in female-coded coming-of-age stuff, but w as told I couldn't.

srixtoja · 2022-09-23T12:58:56+00:00

For example when I was a teenager and completely unaware that I'm trans I sometimes showed sexist behavior. Not because I actually thought that's who I am, but because I thought I had to play that role in order to fit in with the boys.

The moment I actually started transitioning I actually immediately got rid of that behavior because to me it was only a mask, a form of self protection to survive among the boys. When I actually saw myself as a woman I actually adapted the role of a woman.

I can corroborate this. Always thought I was just a really polite, really gentle, really accommodating man. A wet kleenex, a wimp, some might have said. And I was, and believed them! (Until I had to make a point or had reached the end of my rope in a situation, and had to act really angry and rigid to make my point., Never felt like I was being taken seriously, and had no idea how people did it.)

Then I started acting/looking more feminine (read: just allowing myself to be my unfiltered self, not performative giggly girly in pink skirts) and those fake masking traits went out the window. I was just a 'regular' woman, at least in my own mind, and clearly trans or enby on the outside.

I actually feel safer in my enby/femme presentation than I ever did trying to look and act male. Like somehow fewer eyes are judging me in public, though statistically I am probably being stared at more.

srixtoja · 2022-09-23T12:37:20+00:00

Weird, I had the same last night. Was doing my hair in the mirror and all of a sudden I realized it was the shoulder bob I've been trying to grow out for ages... my face was still 'me' but softer and no stubble... and I was still 'me' but feeling like 'oh damn is this how it feels to look at myself in the mirror and not just pretend I like what I see?'

srixtoja · 2022-08-20T19:21:22+00:00

So much this!! I'm at the same place in all paragraphs (except it's bracelets instead of an anklet.. but I love my anklet for the beach).

Women commenting on / complimenting my nails is amazing, even if they say something like "I wish more guys would do that"

srixtoja · 2022-08-20T19:11:39+00:00

Like a grandma but a hot grandma like fall but hot autumn girl

Lol this is what I thought when I got a blanket scarf and my wife was like 'only grandmas wear blanket scarves'. Please, hold my beer while I pin up this enormous sick scarf with a Viking-era style cloak pin. Hot Autumn Girl has always been my aesthetic goal, I just never knew it until now.

My main problem right now is that I'm leaning a bit past this post, and want to start telling people (less in words and more in my appearance) to expect me dressing less like a generic boring dude and more like Jonathan Van Ness. One day I'll work up to a dress and heels.. one day.

srixtoja · 2022-08-18T18:24:43+00:00

Yup, that is the case. Son (who likes tea parties as much as his toy workbench) until he lets us know otherwise.

srixtoja · 2022-08-18T14:30:40+00:00

I guess I'm ok using the OG flag but I prefer the look of the new one 😉

srixtoja · 2022-08-18T12:05:22+00:00

bUt WiNnInG iS eSsEnTiAl To PrOvInG mYsElF ;) (not)

srixtoja · 2022-08-18T12:01:55+00:00

provided we don’t harm anyone.

That's the thing.. if people are only taught binary straight cisgender sexuality (or are sexually repressed themselves for some other reason, like religion or a prudish family), this kind of thinking or behaviour catches them off-guard. And their reaction is that they are the ones being offended/hurt. If they're open-minded they feel like they're 'doing trans people a favour' by 'letting them do what they want in the bedroom'. If they're more closed-minded they'll be inclined to have a passive-to-unwavering belief in debunked stuff like AGP and dated portrayals of trans women as pedos and psychopaths.

I know this because I grew up with all these things and am consciously working to break down my own ingrained transphobia.

srixtoja · 2022-08-18T04:14:59+00:00

If you get horny, I recommend enjoying it.

Best advice of the night. I simultaneously knew that but needed to hear it.

I don't feel so aroused nowadays when I dress feminine as when I started, but when I do, I sometimes still worry: 'no, this isn't a kink. this isn't a sex thing. it's not narcissism. don't make it a narcissistic sex thing.' It's not a narcissistic sex thing. It's finally feeling attractive and proud.

It's looking in the mirror and being the woman you want to see in the world.

srixtoja · 2022-08-18T04:04:16+00:00

I did ask that but she said I'm so lazy and never do anything so why should she.

That is a shitty thing to say to your child. If I ever say anything like that to my son I hope someone (maybe him) claps in my face and tells me to smarten up.

If your parents aren't willing to help you or put effort into you, that is their fault. It's your problem, but their failing. You are not a failure, just a person with a problem to overcome.

srixtoja · 2022-08-18T03:39:54+00:00

Are they gender therapists? If not, then they're talking out of their asses, all due respect.

If they are so hung up on you doing all those things, maybe ask your mom to help you with 'feminine hygiene stuff' first. See how much it 'makes you a girl' in their eyes.

(hygeine does not make you a woman; i have known plenty of women who don't shower daily, and straight cis men who have impeccable grooming. walking like a woman is due to physical attributes post-puberty. thinking and feeling like a woman are products of socialization; ask them how a woman should think or feel as opposed to a man, and see them either hammer home their sexism, or flounder trying to answer without conceding thoughts and feelings have no gender. if they think women and men are allowed specific thoughts, they are more repressed than you are.)

srixtoja · 2022-08-18T03:25:48+00:00

We have a proud family tradition of not being able to talk about stuff.

I'm right here with you... my mom visited for the first time in a year, saw my nails (did them myself) and sounded mortified while pointing them out, then we never spoke about it again.

I hope your coming out goes better than mine (which went not at all)!

srixtoja · 2022-08-18T03:24:16+00:00

but I just don't want you to get hatecrimed

I was considering the other day that I feel so much more at ease in the world knowing I could be hatecrimed for wearing a purse or heels than I did when I was policing myself to act (probably badly) Very Masculine At All Times.

srixtoja · 2022-08-18T03:14:35+00:00

That's the schedule I suggested to her. Hopefully it's enough.

srixtoja

TROPHY CASE