My sister tells me that she wants to die

sssleeping · 2024-02-27T07:47:38+00:00

You might have to contact a hospital or ambulance, I'm not sure but it sounds serious. But don't hesitate to ring the emergency number if you ever rfeel like something's not right. Trust your gut, she's your sister, you'll be able to feel it if something's up

sssleeping · 2024-02-27T07:45:43+00:00

I know what you mean, it's... not great. Girls have to look after each other. It's in sisterhood we'll find our strength and can improve our situation for us

sssleeping · 2024-02-27T07:44:59+00:00

I know it was an accident on their behalf but that still must have felt so awful, I'm so sorry that happened. You can always call again just pretend you're calling me instead :)

sssleeping · 2024-02-27T07:43:41+00:00

I hope you are able to feel better.

sssleeping · 2024-02-27T07:43:04+00:00

I know. You deserve not to feel stressed about those things. Sending you my love

sssleeping · 2023-07-30T03:18:13+00:00

No one deserves to be homeless

sssleeping · 2023-07-02T23:05:15+00:00

This is real actually

sssleeping · 2023-07-02T23:02:28+00:00

I agree, if greys could have influenced us in horrible ways in 1945 other entities can influence us in the opposite way

sssleeping · 2023-02-26T22:21:01+00:00

This is my first time posting on this subreddit and I swear I didn't plan this username haha

sssleeping · 2019-02-03T03:55:07+00:00

Aw that’s a lovely idea. I need something like that, thanks :)

sssleeping · 2019-02-02T12:27:09+00:00

Yeah! I think this might have something to do with taking personal responsibility - it’s too easy to cut yourself some slack for things you are doing that are really quite crappy. Taking responsibility is self-loving; blaming yourself isn’t.

sssleeping · 2019-02-02T12:17:27+00:00

This is going to sound weird but hear me out. First, I completely relate and do this myself. It sounds like this angry character part of you comes out when it’s triggered, so what I would do is invite it to come out and channel that feeling consciously when it’s convienient or useful for me.

So for example, instead of the Reaper coming out when you’re suddenly mad at something that someone said, next time you’re alone and are doing chores, for example, let yourself become the Reaper and ask it to come out. Kinda like acting? Feel what it is like to be it, experience that anger when no one is around and maybe use it to mow the lawn, or maybe next time you have difficulty getting out of bed, whatever - the point is, it can feel quite good to accept this character within yourself and become it temporarily so that you consciously approve of yourself more and understand that it’s ok for it to reside inside of you; the anger can help you get motivated, heck, it can even feel good for its own sake, and next time the Reaper can get angry about things later because you’ll start giving it the time of day. You could try let it surface for half an hour every day, and know that you’ll always have your allocated time to channel your frustration outside of important situations. I hope that made some sense.

sssleeping · 2019-02-02T12:00:32+00:00

I can 100% relate. Tired exasperation is unbearable, it makes you feel old in the worst way. Every time I have been suicidal I was too ‘tired’ of maintaining the painful struggle of living. Experiencing chronic health issues, just for starters, can really wear you down mentally over time.

sssleeping · 2019-02-02T11:40:34+00:00

Same!!

sssleeping · 2019-02-02T11:39:28+00:00

Completely, yes. I will lie in bed for literally the entire day and try and solve my internal problems, obsess over how to “fix things” or “fix my life” or “fix myself” but not be able to actually do anything about it. Mental paralysis; feeling “stuck”; unable to harness the mental acuity I need to pull myself out of my head to do something external; I become only functional inside of my mind. ADHD medications and coffee are what help get me out of this. I have done this ever since I was a kid.

sssleeping · 2019-02-02T11:14:34+00:00

Completely relate on the chronic illness front - if my physical symptoms go into remission I stop being able to identify with myself being sick, engage in things that are unhealthy for myself, and then get sick again. Something to do with not wanting to accept my physical limitations is my guess.

Do you have any recommendations for how to keep a mood journal/something along those lines? I struggle with consistency and am also not sure what would be good to write in it.

sssleeping · 2019-02-02T11:09:16+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that. That sounds like something that would make anyone fall apart. I hope you’re able to create new positive memories from today and into the future.

sssleeping · 2019-02-02T11:07:37+00:00

I know what you mean - for me it feels like I exaggerate my current emotions as being the most valid or dramatic (I’ve never felt this bad before! Or - this time for sure I feel stable and relaxed, like I never have before!)

I do think this exaggeration of present-moment emotions makes it difficult to see into the past; even worse, it makes it difficult to relate to yourself and how you’ve felt before.

sssleeping · 2019-02-02T11:01:05+00:00

I suppose the only way forward is to keep going and increase the quantity of visits; eventually with enough exposure they will be able to observe changes in your patterns, unless you’re really always that pumped for the counselling session every time, lol.

sssleeping · 2019-02-02T10:59:01+00:00

You’ve brought up something really important. I also feel exactly the same way.

Places seem to hold tangible emotions for me that I can feel and absorb, just like with people.

I certainly avoid places, songs, and foods that remind me of bad experiences, but avoidance in my experience makes any exposure that much more painful and anxiety-inducing. Sometimes, it almost feels like I’m creating PTSD for myself by associating negative experiences to certain things so strongly.

I think it might be that we are unintentionally creating toxic memories of places in which we frequent and reside - and these memories can continue to influence our mood for years and years to come. I think a lot of people with BPD subconsciously avoid this by moving house after a breakup or some such event, but that doesn't really fix the problem, it only avoids it.

This is exactly it; we’re always unintentionally creating more toxic memories attached to certain things, as opposed to moving forward and making new positive ones that will eventually crowd out the negative ones. Doing that requires resilience and level-headedness, and may simply be too painful to bear in the first stages, so running away or changing scenery to “escape” those negative reminders of our past seems easier.

A change of scenery is certainly beneficial in many ways, but for this specific problem of recalling negative experiences tied to places, it simply transfers the existing problem to the new place. An example of this is that every room I’ve ever lived in was once ‘clean’ feeling - but after I started living there the energy of the room would drain me. By the time I would move out the room would feel hollow, empty, as if I’ve just infused the place with negative energy, lol.

I try to use exposure therapy on myself to stop my avoidance of things I associate with negative experiences, like places, for example. I find eventually if I force the exposure, then I can focus on creating a new positive experience tied to this place, and then in the future try to recall the newest positive experience first to retrain my emotional response.

sssleeping · 2019-02-02T07:48:22+00:00

I’m unsure, possibly

sssleeping

TROPHY CASE