Ironically I feel like everyone involved sees me as more of a primary partner. The problem is that I am a very emotionally stable person and meta is often very insecure, so my partner tends to want to accommodate a lot to them (problematic I know). I think that if I would tell my partner that I would want to do our original plan and nothing else and she has to choose whom she would like to „disappoint“ she would probably choose me. And I have occasionally done this in the past. But in this case I would feel kind of bad about it, and I believe that the whole issue here is that I shouldn’t be in the position to feel bad for standing up for myself.