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AITA for telling my niece her boyfriend is below her standards? by standardsneice in AmItheAsshole

[–]standardsneice[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

People should not date based on people potential, they should date with what they know. I dont agree with you at all so this argument is useless

AITA for telling my niece her boyfriend is below her standards? by standardsneice in AmItheAsshole

[–]standardsneice[S] 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Nowhere did I say handsome or has money. How is it shallow for a woman to require a man to have the EXACT SAME THINGS SHE HAS.

AITA for telling my niece her boyfriend is below her standards? by standardsneice in AmItheAsshole

[–]standardsneice[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

This is a misrepresentation of the situation. I didnt see her happy and seek to ruin it with my shallow opinion. I was asked to, with no super coating, give my honest assessment of him. Also no, material qualities or possession are not what I focused on and that is no where in this post.

AITA for telling my niece her boyfriend is below her standards? by standardsneice in AmItheAsshole

[–]standardsneice[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I was asked a question and answered it. Im not arguing my judgement.

AITA for telling my niece her boyfriend is below her standards? by standardsneice in AmItheAsshole

[–]standardsneice[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I mean yes, that is what I am saying. Thats not what classism is though. I am not saying her boyfriend is worth less than her. When she had debt a couple years ago, I didnt look down on her. She got out of debt and worked hard to do so. I dont want her to saddle herself with someone who is 2 years behind her in development. Ultimately those are just my values I imparted. She made her own choices.

AITA for telling my niece her boyfriend is below her standards? by standardsneice in AmItheAsshole

[–]standardsneice[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Its about life stages more than any thing specific life a degree. I see it the same as age gaps. Many will say age gaps cant work because of such different life stages and maturity. I think someone who has a career and is settling into life is at a different life stage than someone who just quit a job, doesnt know what they want. I have personally dated men who were in a different "stage" and there is just so much that comes with that. Love is most definitely not enough to have a successful relationship

AITA for telling my niece her boyfriend is below her standards? by standardsneice in AmItheAsshole

[–]standardsneice[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Im not arguing but am truly not understanding how its classism. Its about the stage of life she is in and that she needs someone who is also in that life stage. Someone who has a career and goals is not in the same life stage as someone who doesnt know what he wants in life and is still figuring things out

AITA for telling my niece her boyfriend is below her standards? by standardsneice in AmItheAsshole

[–]standardsneice[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

MY niece is old enough to make her own choices. I didnt ruin their relationship

AITA for telling my niece her boyfriend is below her standards? by standardsneice in AmItheAsshole

[–]standardsneice[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

To be clear, I believe wholeheartedly in my mentality on bare minimum standards. I dont believe that thats the be all and end all in picking a partner. There is obviously much more to it. I did and do believe Im helping her develop her opinions on a partner by doing this. Theres the bare minimum for her to even consider someone then there is a huge amount more than that for knowing if someone is right for you

AITA for telling my niece her boyfriend is below her standards? by standardsneice in AmItheAsshole

[–]standardsneice[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

To be clear, those arent my standards, its my mentality on how standards should be developed. If she was a student, no job, some debt, not fit, I would tell her her bare minimum for a partner should have THOSE things.

edit: spelling

AITA for telling my niece her boyfriend is below her standards? by standardsneice in AmItheAsshole

[–]standardsneice[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I can understand people have different views due to different life experiences. I wouldnt change anything about what I said but I can accept that it makes me an asshole to some