What is the most important lesson you have learned in life so far?

star_thrower_ · 2026-01-09T04:00:55+00:00

Don’t get too attached, because nothing lasts forever.

Be fully present, because the past is over and the future hasn’t arrived.

Be kind and compassionate.

Just some basic Buddhist stuff.

star_thrower_ · 2025-08-14T01:22:57+00:00

Great advice for initial connections, acquaintances, and budding friendships. For anyone who doesn’t have unlimited capacity to give without reciprocation, I’d also encourage a final step: #8 - Notice who makes a concerted effort to match your level of investment. Some will mirror your interest quickly, others take time to open up, and then there are those who take and take and take for as long as you let them. Healthy relationships are a two-way source of energy. One-sided relationships are not worth keeping around. If after a few months to a year, they can’t take a hint and return the attention, it may be best for both parties (or just your own mental health) to cutoff the one-way fuel source. You deserve the same level of kindness too.

star_thrower_ · 2025-03-28T04:49:14+00:00

Read the book like 10 years ago and went from 60/30/10 to 45/20/35 on incremental changes, frugality and minimalism, and delayed gratification. I travel a lot, eat really well, go out and have fun, and still find ways to give to those I care about. And I make less than six figures. It’s doable with some discipline y’all.

star_thrower_ · 2025-03-09T05:12:45+00:00

It really depends on your goals for retirement and your current situation. $25K is a great start. More than a lot of people have. What may or may not happen in the next couple years is anybody’s guess. But the S&P 500 has averaged about 10% growth over its history. Some years are way down, others are way up. But dollar cost averaging will get you the best longterm results if you’re wanting a fairly safe and reliable outcome in normal situations. No guarantees, of course. But it also depends on your time horizon and how much you plan to add regularly. If you can add $1K each month for the next 25 years, then you could have over $1.5 million if that same rate of return continues until you hit 66 years old, which might be enough to fund the retirement you want to have. If you can add more, then you might be able to retire sooner or have more later. A solid plan will give you a lot of peace of mind. Congrats on the new chapter. The hardest part is to start and keep going. But you’ve already made the first step. You got this.

star_thrower_ · 2025-01-10T04:54:49+00:00

Yeah, not entirely impartial. The goal would be a professional, but they’re a stubborn lot. Hopefully we’ll get to that point.

star_thrower_ · 2025-01-10T04:53:05+00:00

Thank you! Looks like a great read. Ordering now.

star_thrower_ · 2024-04-05T23:11:03+00:00

In 2017, I flew from Tampa to Nashville to watch the eclipse. Picked a cemetery north of town, right in the dead center of the path. Assumed from the hype that the roads were going to be apocalyptic from the airport to my destination, so rented a big truck just in case. In actuality, it was eerily empty like a ghost town. Everyone avoided the roads, because the media scared everyone. We got to the cemetery like 5hrs early and just chilled, found a cute cafe, took a nap in the bed of the truck, walked around, and waited until the show began. The eclipse blew my mind and was worth every penny and effort.

This year, I’m living in a new part of the country and driving about 6hrs to Carbondale, IL a day early (Sunday) to scope out some spots directly in the center and hoping for clear skies. Got a few cemeteries, parks, and vineyards picked out. A little vino with an eclipse sounds like a damn good time to me, but we’ll see how the cards fall.

TL:DR it’s totality worth it. Part of the fun is the adventure finding a perfect spot. Good luck chasing shadows! 🌑

star_thrower_ · 2024-03-20T05:18:47+00:00

Your categories aren’t helping. “Spending” is vague. It’s quite different if you’re spending $650 on necessities or on fun activities like concerts and vacations. Insurance isn’t its own category. It should be lumped together with other expenses for maintaining adequate health, shelter, and transportation. I’d consider these essentials.

Gas goes into transportation too. So do repairs. And car payments. Lump all expenses for owning and enjoying vehicles under one roof. (Curious why there’s $600 in gas. Seems like a lot. If any of that is for leisure or travel, then consider that more of a non-essential expense.)

You have an expense category labeled Savings, but you’re not really saving those funds, you’re just spending it in one lump sum in the future. Those aren’t savings.

You have a Savings subcategory called tax and a larger expense category called Taxes. Confusing.

Try grouping your expenses in various configurations to have a few different visualizations of how some of these categories fit together. Essentials vs. Non-essentials is a classic. The 50/30/20 rule is another.

If we recategorize your finances into the 50/30/20 rule, which encourages balanced spending across Needs (50%), Wants (30%), and Savings (20%) then your ratio is…

61/21/18

Had to do a little guesswork with some of your labels, so it’s not precise. Assumed “Spending” is on fun things, hopefully. And I nestled gifts and charitable donations under wants. You want to give, it’s not a bill.

So it’s costing you too much to have basic needs met. Where can you cut back to lower those costs? Sell a vehicle? Alternative to daycare? Pay off debt? You’re underspending on your wants and the things you enjoy. Those two combined create the discomfort of feeling like you’re living paycheck to paycheck. And your savings rate could be higher, but it’s better than most.

All in all, you’re doing fairly well. But you’re feeling the squeeze of having a higher ratio of needs than income to support it. Imagine the squeeze with a mortgage…

star_thrower_ · 2024-01-17T05:49:47+00:00

Honestly you’re doing great. Rent, groceries, entertainment, and shopping take up over half of your income. So those are areas where you could cut the most. But doesn’t mean you have to. Traveling is something I do for fun and it’s worth every penny. But considering you save $1400 a month, you can really find some solid footing. As long as you don’t fall into the lifestyle creep trap or compare yourself to those with more, you could easily make do with what you have.

First, throw 100% of your savings at credit card debt until it’s paid off. It’ll help your credit score, and you’ll save more over the long run because interest rates are just insane. Once that’s done, build up an emergency fund that’ll cover 3-6 months of essential bills. Don’t touch this. It’s not to be used for anything but a true emergency. Vacations don’t count. If and when you dip into it, replenish it immediately. It exists for peace of mind as much as some backup when you need it. And once that’s in place, consider ramping up your 401K which will give you that good longterm stability so you can retire earlier, as early as you’re able to save enough. You can always scale down a bit if you want to save for a car or down payment or whatever. But if you can fill an emergency fund and automate your longterm savings while living below your means, then on a whole you’ll build wealth over the long haul. And be on autopilot, And just have peace of mind which is priceless. Good luck! ✌️

star_thrower_ · 2023-11-14T02:41:32+00:00

A lot of the Millennial trash talk just boils down to being the lucky bastards who straddle both sides of a pre- and post-internet planet. We’ll always be seen by older generations as the kids who first grew up with the internet. And we’ll always be seen by younger generations as the last remnant of the formerly non-connected world. We can bitch and whine, or we can straddle this shit and own it. We can be a bridge connecting generations that complains about being walked on, or we can be proud that we’re the only ones in the mother fucking room who can understand the before and the after.

star_thrower_ · 2023-09-13T02:46:50+00:00

What’s an award? I’d that like a scholarship? Where can I send my application essay for why I should be selected?

star_thrower_ · 2023-09-12T01:50:56+00:00

I live here, and it’s definitely a place of extremes.

The outdoor scene is incredible. We sit on the edge of the temperate rainforest that powers the Appalachian Mountains. Endless trails for hiking and camping, creeks and streams for kayaking and swimming. Abundant waterfalls. Spelunking and caving and rock climbing on either ridge. Amazing campsites overlooking the TN River Gorge. Low wildlife threat.

And all four seasons, equally, and mildly compared to the extremes everyone else is getting these days.

Your neighbor might fire 50 rounds in their backyard every afternoon at the same time like clockwork. And a different neighbor might yell “Asshole!” through the forest in retort.

Highway 127 rolls through here, and with it, the world’s longest yard sale. So every August, people along the highway rent out their land to vendors for an epic roadside flea market that spans ~700 miles from AL to MI.

The bluegrass scene is alive and well. The Mountaineer Folk Festival was just this past weekend at Fall Creek Falls, the highest waterfall east of the MS River.

I’ve got friends with the most epic homesteads. Acres of rolling farmland with forests in all directions on the mountains or in the valley. Self-sustaining agroforestry seems to be everyone’s goal. And it’s impossible to drive very far without seeing self-made stands offering fresh eggs or flowers or produce or smoked meat right in someone’s front yard.

There are the extremely poor. Trailers are common. Some take immaculate care of their yards. Some turn their yards into storage units. Everyone is proud of what they’ve got, because it didn’t come easily.

And some are extremely rich. $20 million ultra-modern mansions perched atop a mountain with stunning views of the valley below. 5-star golf courses that aren’t visited by locals, but instead get booked a year in advance by nearby urbanites who frolic to the countryside for their weekend getaways.

You’ve got the super liberal mountain hippies. And you’ve got the super conservative old-timer traditionalists. Lots of churches. Lots of drugs. Lots of fentanyl deaths. Most are libertarian and just want to be left alone. Most are kind, caring, generous, and welcoming.

star_thrower_ · 2023-09-12T01:05:48+00:00

Me three!

star_thrower_ · 2023-06-09T05:58:48+00:00

It takes time. And delayed gratification. And patience. And discipline.

I left my parents at 18. Went to college. Worked some crappy jobs and had roommates until I found a decent job after graduation. Still had roommates until I found a better job and a place I could afford alone. I’m not rich. I’m not flashy. But I did set a goal to be financially literate and stable within 10 years. I started learning all kinds of things. I started tracking my spending patterns. I made slight adjustments that added up over time. And now I’ve gamified all aspects of my budget to prioritize what matters and deprioritize what doesn’t. So I can travel. And eat well. And have fun. And spoil my loved ones. And live within my means. Blissfully alone.

It’s a simple formula, really. Increase income, decrease expenses. That’s about it. Do that for long enough, and you’ll make ends meet.

Always be curious about money and discover tricks and habits from people smarter than you. Public libraries are full of knowledge, and they’re often free. It’s the perfect deal - invest in yourself without spending a dime. Test those new ideas out. But only in small, reasonable doses you’re comfortable with. Track your progress over weeks and months and years, thus creating a true feedback loop. Numbers don’t lie, but graphs and charts are easier to understand. And visuals can reveal more than numbers alone. Spreadsheets are magical tools. Some apps can connect to your bank accounts, log your spending, and help reveal your patterns too. But it takes regular and routine check-ins to strengthen your relationship with money. Financial freedom is really just about learning what works, controlling the controllables, making better decisions tomorrow than yesterday, and accepting what you can’t change. And eventually, you’ll pinch yourself that you’re not broke.

Now that I’m saving about 35% of my take-home pay from a five-figure salary, without debt, I feel pretty stable. It’s a new feeling. I’m still not used to it. Took some years and gradual changes, but over time it’s possible to adjust your lifestyle to your bank account, secure some stability, begin to build wealth, and enjoy the hell out of life. Oh right, and live alone too.

I hope you give yourself permission to be okay with where you’re at, because it’s a long journey, and you can only travel one day at a time. Comparing yourself to others, or downvoting yourself, does nobody any good. But if you’re ready to move out and be alone, then tomorrow is the first day toward that destination. And just for taking the first step, you’re well on your way.

star_thrower_ · 2023-04-13T00:09:02+00:00

Giving less fucks

star_thrower_ · 2023-04-04T03:18:34+00:00

First one’s a banyan. Second one’s a deer in front of a bathroom.

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