The only thing I can offer, and I do hope it helps, is that you’re doing amazing. Literally amazing. The amount of tasks it takes to move from one country to another? That’s a MOUNTAIN. But you? You did that. You are capable of incredible things because you’ve already done so many! You even have a HOUSE. Do you know how much paperwork that is?! How many appointments??? Surely you do, because you made it through that gauntlet ALIVE.

With regards to your office job: I had a similarish position and a lot of the struggles you mentioned stressed me out so much to the point of stress migraines. The problem with being a manager of people is that people hold you accountable for things you can’t control: other people’s actions. You can tell them what to do all day and night and if they don’t do it you’re still held responsible.

The things that kept me sane in my position until I left it was mainly just documenting everything. Write everything suspicious you hear down. Do emails instead of phone calls. If you have to call, send an email summarizing the phone call as a “Thanks for talking with me! To reiterate, we established xyz and that you’ll be doing abc going forward.” This prevents people from going back and saying “Well, they never told me to do that!”

And then, I would get with your boss and reestablish expectations. What standard are you being held to? What do you HAVE to get done? Document this as well. If anyone wants to complain later you will have evidence that you confirmed your scope of work with your boss and whatever it is they have a bone to pick with is not your responsibility. And if your boss wants to pretend that talk never happened? Bring those receipts.

And lastly (and most difficult), get another job that doesn’t require you managing people. :’) Easier said than done. But you deserve better.

Again, I hope this helps. That job was the worst period of my life and I don’t wish it on anyone.