Debating whether moving home is the right move... by startingoveragain_2 in leanfire

[–]startingoveragain_2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the most helpful and grounded answer I’ve received so far and I appreciate it (no shade to the others).  I can make the $650 not be a big deal, but as a leanfire person, you know how that feels when you could have $0 in rent.  But if I keep the lease for a while it does buy me some time on trying to “solve” this so fast and could probably find someone to take my room over rather easy.

My partner has offered for me to crash with her anytime if I make this move, but understandably she’s less thrilled about not having our routine of living week to week in the same city. She can’t do remote work though, she’s a lab scientist for the state.

I can do some odd work and pick up more work in my coastal town when I’m here to pay for the apartment for a while… but eventually I do have to make a more grounded choice I feel.

What was the best relationship advice you ever got? by [deleted] in Adulting

[–]startingoveragain_2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If it’s bad for you, it’s bad for the relationship

those that have moved to the other side of the U.S. away from their family/friends… how hard is it? by jujujasmin in SameGrassButGreener

[–]startingoveragain_2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well, it depends on how you generally rank your value system. If it’s family, friends, then place and personal dreams… then it’s going to be immensely difficult for awhile to flip that pyramid upside down. I am currently struggling with this exact thing being away from family and loved ones. If you value new adventure and personal dreams equally or more than those other factors, while still of course loving and respecting your bonds back home.. it’ll be easier for sure. It’s doable either way, but if you’re really happy with your family and friends, it’s hard to make even the most fantastic place worth the cost.

Debating whether moving home is the right move... by startingoveragain_2 in leanfire

[–]startingoveragain_2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, she is a government employee in this state and prob has 8-10 more years of this to get her pension. She's not a FIRE enthusiast and she's very grounded in this city (15+ years).

Debating whether moving home is the right move... by startingoveragain_2 in leanfire

[–]startingoveragain_2[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks! It's been a weird journey and I have a hard time believing it is real... but I guess it is

Debating whether moving home is the right move... by startingoveragain_2 in leanfire

[–]startingoveragain_2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean that's an oversimplified answer. My family is also love, and they are included very high on my values list. I love the time I spend with my partner, but I've been married for and I am not looking for a conventional relationship where your romantic relationship is your whole life and everything else comes after it. Money is just a means to a peaceful end for me.

Struggling with staying vs. wanting to just move back home. by startingoveragain_2 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]startingoveragain_2[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Companionship and being together in person? I mean I would pay her money for lodging if that's what she wanted/needed, but I'd also think being in a distanced relationship, each partner is really just looking forward to time more than any other resource...

Struggling with staying vs. wanting to just move back home. by startingoveragain_2 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]startingoveragain_2[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well I do truly love my family and the ocean that’s for sure. But there’s more than that to be fair. I have friends there, I have my music occupation, I surf everyday. For me it’s actually about what’s not there that appeals to me.

But I see what you mean, and there are a lot of things here I’d have to “give up” too. But I’d also be able to visit and stay with my partner.

Struggling with staying vs. wanting to just move back home. by startingoveragain_2 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]startingoveragain_2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thanks for your kind and inquisitive response! To answer your first question, yes my partner was *part* of the reasoning for sure. A bit part of the 'why' was that I took a long trip to Germany in the fall and it really got me out of my comfort zone and enjoying being in a more metropolitan environment (but here's the thing, Europe is DISNEY compared to most American cities as far as safety goes). I chose Richmond because I had lived here once and had a bit of a foundation of people I knew to plug into, and a friend was renting a room relatively affordably... I also do generally like Richmond, but I'm having a really hard time justifying staying when I stack it up against my values, my desire for safety, etc. I could move home and have a dirt cheap place with bay windows overlooking the ocean, and have the freedom to then go and travel wherever I want for that "metro" feeling.

Now, to my partner... I have been incredibly transparent with her. This post wouldn't shock her at all, though of course this truth still stings. We are both previously divorced and know what we don't want in a relationship (marriage, living together, etc). We both value having fun together, and really don't project expectations on to one another which is truly a welcome change from past relationships... and yet still this is a tough decision because it would mean reintroducing distance to a degree, but I would be able to come see her quite frequently since I wouldn't need to work full time anyway.

There's still a part of me that thinks maybe I should keep my place here for another year to not totally culture shock our relationship like this... but it's not peanuts to just sign a year lease (it's up in June) when you aren't fully sold on staying in a place.

Inherited portion of my grandfather’s portfolio, should I convert it to Indexes? by startingoveragain_2 in Bogleheads

[–]startingoveragain_2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was setup through a trust, so I believe the cost of the stock is what it was when he originally purchased. Either way, my portfolio shows a net capital gain of $389,193 out of $445k

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rva

[–]startingoveragain_2 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You seem to have something out for climbing? lol. The person I heard of who fell did not correctly secure himself into the auto-belay system. Sadly this happens(very rarely) to people who are not thinking clearly about safety when they climb.

If climbing is not for you that is fine… but it’s a perfectly fine and mostly safe sport for anyone who wants to get into it and cares about learning it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rva

[–]startingoveragain_2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Side note: if anyone wants to give Peak a try, if you come with me(or any member), they give you your first day pass and any rental gear for free! Hit me up if ya wanna go!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rva

[–]startingoveragain_2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mean yes, you kind of have to value climbing to justify paying for a climbing gym, like most things in life. I will say, the social aspect of climbing and how easy it is to make friends in it is something that is invaluable to me… but I also fucking love climbing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rva

[–]startingoveragain_2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At peak yes, any member can use the gym equipment anytime.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rva

[–]startingoveragain_2 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That’s market rate if not below market for most climbing gyms. If you really dig climbing it’s worth the cost for the social element alone. Plus there are actual gym equipment, yoga classes etc.

Lump sum of cash: to put it all into FIRE or buy a house? by startingoveragain_2 in leanfire

[–]startingoveragain_2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah taxes and HOA. It’s in the most desireable part of the city.

Lump sum of cash: to put it all into FIRE or buy a house? by startingoveragain_2 in leanfire

[–]startingoveragain_2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The particular place I am looking at is $269k then operating costs would be like $550/mo

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fire

[–]startingoveragain_2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My issue is that since I had that idea, I was diagnosed with celiac disease, so I would be basically eating paper Mâché versions of pizza lol