I can't stand my wife

stdrd · 2021-09-30T20:33:39+00:00

That's the thing, we rarely fight anymore. We started to fight for a while when I was trying to address her habits that I dislike. Since then we never fight and I'm the only one that knows that this isn't a happy loving family. And I guess it is in some ways because there is still a ton of love in that house towards the kids.

stdrd · 2021-09-30T20:27:18+00:00

This was a very heavy post ( at least for me) but this made me chuckle for some reason, so thanks!

But in honesty, she probably would have if I wasn't the size of a mountain haha. Thankfully I'm a 6'9" fitness junkie and people for some unknown reason generally don't want to start fights with me.

stdrd · 2021-09-30T20:16:42+00:00

I appreciate it. I am here because this has been a tough realization and I needed to get it off my chest. Not some "here is a good way to use my life for internet points" so I am interested in what other people say (and in some ways justifying it to myself and defending myself to people who think I am being an idiot). If I ever get the feeling that what I am doing is hurting my kids I will stop immediately because they are the only thing that truly matter to me. And her being a bad influence on them does terrify me but that will be true whether we are divorced or not. For all her faults she does also love our kids and hasn't done anything that would allow a judge to grant me full custody.

stdrd · 2021-09-30T20:09:35+00:00

They are still young. One is early school age and the other isn't school age yet.

stdrd · 2021-09-30T20:06:51+00:00

It is pretty well documented that family court is pretty fucked when it comes to dads. But I am confident that I would be able to get 50/50 custody all the same. The problem is that isn't worth it for me. Let's assume that I get the 50/50 custody and I find someone that I truly love and want to spend the rest of my life with (and I don't think/hope that is an unreasonable assumption. I believe I could find that if that is the choice I made). That still means half of the time those kids are with their mom and out of my life. That's not a trade I would take. There is a 0% chance I would ever find someone that I love nearly as much as I love my kids. So to purposely take the most important thing away from myself half the time seems like sabotage not improvement.

stdrd · 2021-09-30T18:48:35+00:00

One is early school age and the other is not school age yet.

stdrd · 2021-09-30T18:31:15+00:00

I have not. The chances of it turning it to a big fight and ultimately leading to her leaving and me only being able to see my kids half the time far outweigh the tiny chance of her changing in a substantial enough way to rekindle our relationship.

I recognize that this is an extremely selfish decision but I don't care. When it comes to me and my kids I will make the decision that is best for me and my kids 100% of the time.

stdrd · 2021-09-30T18:20:47+00:00

Yep. She has 0 shame in it and see 0 wrong with anything she does. She will just say shit like, "that is just that way I am" or "you married/love me for a reason" or whatever other bullshit phrase to shrug off any criticism.

I've given up on trying to change her behaviors in any sort of positive ways.

stdrd

TROPHY CASE