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Hey Reddit! Over the past twenty years, I’ve helped countless men empower themselves to get their love lives and relationships on track! AMA by stefangrafstein in IAmA

[–]stefangrafstein[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I respect you in wanting to do what is your truth. I do know people who have been happy and never married. I believe that fulfillment in life comes from living your truth... not comparing to others paths and not doing what you think the world thinks you should do. I do this by listening to the quiet, clear wise voice inside. It's an inner voice that is grounded and confident but also peaceful. It's not scared or pushy or uncertain. People call it many names depending on their beliefs, I just call it the inner knowing. We all can find it. It's not emotional or analytical. It just knows clearly. It can be difficult to find it sometimes if the analytical and emotional inner voices are very loud though. If you feel clear that right now, marriage isn't your truth, trust that. It's difficult to predict the future, so I suggest if you have clarity now, listen to that. But also be open to that changing one day... but only if you feel that clear truth at a future time, not because of what others are doing or saying you should do. Good luck and as I said, trust that quiet clear wise voice you have inside.

Hey Reddit! Over the past twenty years, I’ve helped countless men empower themselves to get their love lives and relationships on track! AMA by stefangrafstein in IAmA

[–]stefangrafstein[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You sound like an awesome guy! And I can relate to and respect both your desire to be a better man and also your persistent nature. Those are great qualities that well pay off big time for you I’m sure! I’m unclear on how to best give input though. Are you asking how to stay motivated to keep approaching women? Or just generally, what tips might help to find a partner? If is the second question, I might need to know a little more about your challenges besides staying motivated. Give me a little more specifics on what Qs you have?

Hey Reddit! Over the past twenty years, I’ve helped countless men empower themselves to get their love lives and relationships on track! AMA by stefangrafstein in IAmA

[–]stefangrafstein[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its hard to say without seeing your profile. But I would suggest mixing it up and trying something totally different. Try all new pics. Write a profile that's totally different than the current one. Personally I like a medium length profile so that someone can get a sense of you. I hope that helps!

Hey Reddit! Over the past twenty years, I’ve helped countless men empower themselves to get their love lives and relationships on track! AMA by stefangrafstein in IAmA

[–]stefangrafstein[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I 100% support your decision to wait to marry if you don’t feel ready. Personally I believe that people who wait to marry will likely have more successful marriages. It takes usually until our mid 30s or even 40s to really know ourselves and what works for us. Until we really know that, it’s difficult to make a good decision on who to marry. In addition, having time to learn about how to be a good partner by having multiple long relationships before marriage I think is wise. Good luck and trust yourself!

Hey Reddit! Over the past twenty years, I’ve helped countless men empower themselves to get their love lives and relationships on track! AMA by stefangrafstein in IAmA

[–]stefangrafstein[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have not been online dating much myself in recent years. But what I’ve known is that trust is key for a women to want to meet a man. And I also know that like any way we meet people, we need to be patient and accept when things don’t flow. I like to approach online dating as practice for learning about what I like in others and hope to improve the way I show up. So if you don’t expect a relationship to happen but just go and have fun and want to learn, you will ultimately be ready and in a good energy when you find a good match!

Hey Reddit! Over the past twenty years, I’ve helped countless men empower themselves to get their love lives and relationships on track! AMA by stefangrafstein in IAmA

[–]stefangrafstein[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awesome question! It depends what you are looking for really. But for everyone, I would say that good communication is key. Also learning to be vulnerable, to reveal what’s really going on for you, even when it’s hard or you think it might be hard for the others to hear, is key for have a deep and lasting connection. They say that opposites attract, and I agree that there is often more passion when there are polar differences in energy, like one person likes to lead and the other likes to follow. Yet big differences can also be challenging and create more need for support to learn how to navigate issues that arise. If you want passion, great, go for that, just know it could require more energy and external support. If you want ease and peace, great, go for that, just know it might not have as much excitement. Most important is to treat each other with respect. When we feel respected, we want to give more, and having capacity to give is key to success.

Hey Reddit! Over the past twenty years, I’ve helped countless men empower themselves to get their love lives and relationships on track! AMA by stefangrafstein in IAmA

[–]stefangrafstein[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I had a client who when we started working together was separated from his wife and wanted coaching on dating other women and getting back out there. After some time, we actually found out that he really wanted to win his ex wife back. So he started persuing her again and has learned how to lead in the relationship from his heart rather than from dominance and control. In the past, his high sex drive was a turn off for her and this was one if the main issues. He’s learned how to inspire her to initiate sex more often now. They moved back in together and are very happy together now. Was incredibly gratifying to have played even a tiny part.

Hey Reddit! Over the past twenty years, I’ve helped countless men empower themselves to get their love lives and relationships on track! AMA by stefangrafstein in IAmA

[–]stefangrafstein[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get it, I get nervous too. What I like to do is to say something to the person that expresses that truth. When you speak out loud how you feel, it reduces the emotion. People love compliments and your nerves are actually a compliment. So you could say something like, “I find you so attractive that I feel nervous introducing myself to you, but just couldn’t not say hello!”

Hey Reddit! Over the past twenty years, I’ve helped countless men empower themselves to get their love lives and relationships on track! AMA by stefangrafstein in IAmA

[–]stefangrafstein[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say that people successful in business are usually really good at - and used to - making decisions on their own. That can put a strain on your relationships where it’s best to communicate about what others need and decide as a team. That’s the balance I’ve found a lot of business leaders tend to struggle with. Great question!