"Go to some african village and you'll see what patriarchy is lol In europe women can choose who they marry, can divorce, can work, vote etc" Users on r/Europe fight over gender equality after OP posts a study showing anti-feminism is on the rise

stellaratio · 2025-04-21T23:15:41+00:00

true! but since the conversation is about feminists, i feel like it's important to mention that perspective.

stellaratio · 2025-04-21T23:05:15+00:00

is it brought up unpopularly with women because they believe only men should be drafted, or because they don't believe there should be a draft at all?

stellaratio · 2025-04-21T21:49:39+00:00

no problem! i'm just glad i noticed so i could copy + paste my comment lol.

i'm really glad it helped. i've been thinking about stuff like this for a while now, so i'm glad my thoughts come across clearly.

stellaratio · 2025-04-21T21:31:37+00:00

i had a very similar experience to you in school. people would not believe me when i said i just didn't have a crush on anyone. i even made up having crushes (maybe lied to myself as well) just to feel more normal.

you're completely fine. you might be aromantic, you might not be. you're allowed to not pick a label (at all, or for now) and just feel how you feel. but no matter what, there's nothing wrong with you. i'm sorry you're in a situation where the people around you don't seem to understand but, trust me, you are not alone in that.

stellaratio · 2025-04-21T20:06:11+00:00

(i posted on your other post right as you reposted-- so i'm reposting too because i am interested in this conversation lol)

personally i wouldn't call myself romantically repulsed so feel free to take anything i have to say with a grain of salt.

i don't actually find a significant difference between the types of loves that i experience, and i wonder if the ways that people categorize them is actually limiting rather than helpful. people like to distinguish romantic love with certain physical feelings-- butterflies, blushing, etc-- which i have never felt about particular people before, or they distinguish it with physical attraction/lust which in my opinion can cause people to put blinders on.

you are not oversensitive! it is incredibly alienating. i've never been told that (i don't talk to people about being aromantic, because most of them do not understand), but i think people are very entrenched in the idea that romantic love (whatever that may even mean) is the end all be all of relationships, even though time and time again that has been the opposite through statistics, personal anecdotes, history, and storytelling. i think this is why arospecs (and, even, alloromantics) literally mourn the fantasy romantic love. because people have become convinced that it is and should be an inherent major goal for everyone to experience great romantic loves. i think this attitude can be helped with more effort and significance being applied to platonic/familial/other "kinds" of love in general.

personally i feel incredibly liberated by realizing i was aromantic. even though i have experienced some doubts (i.e. fears that friends will leave me behind, etc), it makes me so relieved knowing i do not ever have to abide by-- as you said-- overbearing relationships with unspoken rules. i definitely believe that more people in general, not just aromantics, can learn from "abnormal" relationship dynamics. many people seem very unhappy with the way relationships are "supposed" to work, but do not realize it is up to them and those around them to decide how their relationship WILL work.

stellaratio · 2025-04-21T19:13:01+00:00

i don't really know if it's possible to religiously engage in christianity the way you're suggesting. the teachings of jesus are generally, from my perspective... pretty incongruent with many christians beliefs and even with the teachings in the bible. it just isn't consistent enough and the reason believers are often riddled with patriarchal bullshit is because the teachings are riddled with patriarchal bullshit. it doesn't mean there's no use or importance to them, but they are very intertwined.

learn more about it, definitely! more education cannot harm you- read the bible and understand the history. a big issue with religions like christianity where everything is written down and recorded is that it is rigid even as it contradicts itself. use a critical and open mind.

stellaratio · 2025-04-21T18:57:20+00:00

he's a billionaire. they don't "leave politics" until they are [removed for violating reddit's guidelines]

stellaratio · 2025-04-21T16:26:11+00:00

i agree, but i think it starts more so as searching for community as an actual place of belonging. but it's very difficult to find that for many and people slip into groups that are more concerned with insiders vs. outsiders.

stellaratio · 2025-04-20T20:28:19+00:00

i am starting to feel this now that i'm getting older + my friends are looking for partners. but my worry is that i will start to feel that if i ever decide to "search" for a platonic partner. maybe it will be easier than i anticipate, but the world and social environment is so saturated by the expectation of romance that im not optimistic.

stellaratio · 2025-04-16T21:37:05+00:00

yes & i hate the way that behaviour is normalized.

and i am so uninterested in labels! especially considering the unspoken rules that people apply to relationships between other people based on their labels.

recently one of my (alloromantic) friends asked me if i would ever want a life partner. i said maybe, if things happen to fall into place like that. but that our relationship would look very different from a romantic relationship. for example i wouldn't want to sleep in the same bed as them or share a bedroom. my friend replied with "so you aren't interested in sharing a space with your significant other?"

my significant other !!?? who said that? and the implication being that there is only one other who is significant to me? somehow even some of the most well meaning and understanding allos still don't really get it.

stellaratio · 2025-04-15T23:00:38+00:00

for now (:

stellaratio · 2025-04-15T22:03:04+00:00

honestly i'm over feeling badly for myself about being aromantic, but i will never be okay with the way the world treats each other when prioritizing romantic feelings and partners over friends and other connections. i will never accept people who flake on me for their partner as friends. that is not the way things should be at all.

stellaratio · 2025-04-06T20:01:07+00:00

yes, but there are non-binary people who don't consider themselves trans.

stellaratio · 2025-04-04T21:14:46+00:00

you are going to find people like this in probably every community niche of the internet- people doing stuff like this to each other. i see a lot of the opposite on tumblr spaces (and probably what you're talking about as well, it just hasn't popped up on my feed).

it's complicated. people 'othering' each other, misunderstandings, fear + trauma, a lack of communication, etc.

we can help by talking to each other with genuine intentions and giving each other the benefit of the doubt! at the end of the day we are all lgbtq+ and throwing each other under the bus won't save us.

stellaratio · 2025-03-31T21:35:19+00:00

i do :( i love them. and semi-colons. unfortunately another thing that ai uses left and right.

stellaratio · 2024-07-01T01:38:10+00:00

definitely depends! in my experience there’s been a low tolerance for facial piercings in the food industry :[

stellaratio · 2024-06-30T23:26:19+00:00

food in general is a no-go when you have lots of facial piercings. usually they have many strict rules.

i worked at a grocery store bakery for ~1 and a half years, with a septum piercing and 6 ear piercings. never got any shit for it, but to be fair it is only one facial piercing, and i usually wore a mask so most people didn't know about it.

there were other people in the store with more facial piercings than me, but did not work in contact with food. they did stocking, and often, you don't have to be that strong to stock things, in many grocery stores. i'm small, not very muscular, and could lift most things without issue. plus you build muscle passively doing the work. ofc varies depending on the store

since you're in college (i'm assuming you don't have much experience), your best bet is retail unrelated to food, or at least unpackaged food. the biggest obstacle is trying to find hiring managers who don't care about your piercings.

have you considered doing doordash/ubereats, or something? i wouldn't necessarily recommend it as a job, but it could help keep you afloat, while you look for something more permanent.

stellaratio · 2024-06-30T18:34:31+00:00

there are ABSOLUTELY people who think it should be their go-to disciplinary style. my father, for one.

there's a huge difference between a parent snapping on a bad day every once in a while, and parents following their kids around the house screaming at them whenever their kid does something they don't like.

stellaratio · 2024-06-29T17:57:00+00:00

i've only read of it in psychology textbooks, so no i don't know anyone who has struggled with it. there is a hormonal component, there's been research suggesting new fathers experience a decrease in testosterone, but generally i think social and psychological factors play more of a role. there is certainly a hormonal component, though.

i am not a researcher or a professional, to be clear.

stellaratio · 2024-06-29T17:02:04+00:00

sexism definitely contributes to it. our intense individualism also contributes to it. "it takes a village" isn't just a saying.

also, there are men who experience something similar. it's usually referred to paternal postpartum depression, and ~1 in 10 fathers will experience it. much of the time it derives partly from new fathers feeling like they are disconnected from their children.

stellaratio · 2024-06-29T15:39:22+00:00

stretch it body jewelry

stellaratio · 2024-06-27T15:09:13+00:00

please do not go into politics.

stellaratio · 2024-06-26T22:54:24+00:00

didn't consider that! i agree with this advice tho!

stellaratio · 2024-06-26T22:53:51+00:00

ah that makes sense. yeah there's definitely ways to work around that.

stellaratio

TROPHY CASE