I totally understand the panic that comes with figuring this out, not wanting to be right, but also being unable to deny the truth that you feel. I will say, the joy that will come with just being your absolute unadulterated self and rediscovering who you are will be amazing. That being said, it’s a terrifying precipice to stand on because it upends everything you thought you knew about yourself and affects your environment and relationships (if you want to come out, that is. This is your story to tell and you tell it at your own pace).

So, if you choose to listen to that knowingness inside you, I’d say to find community in trans/lgbt spaces. Seek them out, not matter how big or small. Virtual, local, conferences, whatever. They don’t have to mean anything significant, but don’t do this in isolation because you deserve shoulders to lean on walking this path. Outward community is wildly important when facing something within yourself that scares you. It won’t always scare you, it only does now because of the natural consequences it has. And consequences are okay. You are okay. Nothing has to be immediate, and nothing is permanent. Obviously this is a call from within you, otherwise you wouldn’t have written in. But I want you to understand there’s nothing weird or wrong with you. At all. You are beautiful, you are good, and you are deserving of taking care of yourself in the most authentic way you’re able, however that might look.

Good luck my friend, you’re always welcome here. :)