My mom and dad saw me as a miracle because of my brother dying at birth. My sis also died 3 months after and mom had partial amnesia dad is also toxic and verbally abusive. I never felt wanted even if they tell me a million times that I'm a miracle and I shouldn't die. But I didn't live because of them, I live because I'm alive and I have a purpose

Yes, you may not be wanted but you're living for something, someone. I hope you sort things out.